


To Be Given A Second Chance (God, We Didn't Ask for This)

by why_is_this_a_thing_now



Series: let's do teh time warp again [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Everybody Lives, Fix-It, Gen, I will love these background characters in kishimoto's stead and you can't stop me, It lasts for two chapters, Kakashi is Tired, Slow Build, Team as Family, Temporary Amnesia, Time Travel, kishimoto was too much of a coward to give rin a personality so i gave her one instead, mood whiplash if i'm being honest, nobody leave obito alone please he starts overthinking things, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-05-12 03:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 64,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19221133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why_is_this_a_thing_now/pseuds/why_is_this_a_thing_now
Summary: An existence of peace in the Pure Land does wonders to heal lifelong scars and reunite a once broken team, but Team Seven, no matter which iteration, has never had the best relationship with peace.While Rin, Obito, and Kakashi might be responsible for their predicament, they certainly didn't mean for it to turn out like this. Now, thrown back to the last moment all three of them had been in close proximity to each other, the once-again young members of Team Minato find themselves dealing with something far more consequential than deja vu.They've already gone through this travesty of a script once before, however, and they're not eager for a repeat performance. The fabric of space-time can kindly set itself on fire, they're doing this their way.





	1. How Did We Fuck Up This Bad

**Author's Note:**

> To kick things off, this takes place in a sort of AU, where Rin, Obito, and Kakashi have all been dead for a while and have rebuilt their relationship as a team in the Pure Land. Due to an indeterminate amount of time without severe trauma being forced down anyone's throats, they've had some time to recover and grow as people. They've all hashed some things out, and they've all learned to sit down and talk things out like actual adults, for the most part. Having time to grow up seems to have clued them into a strange sort of childish pep that will might even live past this first bit in the form of the three of them becoming absolute trolls, once they get their feet back under them, so be prepared for the OOC-ness that that brings, I guess.
> 
> I take some liberties with canon, but if you see any glaring mistakes please let me know so I can fix them. If you have any questions about the background for this fic, feel free to hit me up about that as well - I might get around to actually writing it out, but I want to focus on this right now. FYI, I use "Kamui" for Obito's technique, and "kamui" for the place itself. Please be warned, I've proof read this myself, but don't actually have a beta. 
> 
> With all of that out of the way, please enjoy my take on yet another Team Minato time-travel fic.

 

**Blast to the Past (and the Ensuing Fallout)**

 

 

“YOU CAN’T RUN FROM ME FOREVER, YOU LITTLE BRATS!”

Obito most certainly does _not_ make a high-pitched noise of terror as he is dragged, along with a similarly wide-eyed Kakashi, behind a cackling Rin as she darts away from Kushina and sprints around the various people and trees littering their chosen corner of the Pure Land. He _does_ let out a winded groan as Rin yanks hard on his hand, turning to face him with a mischievous grin.

“Hey, do you think you can Kamui us out of here in about thirty seconds?”

She has to yank on his hand again to keep him running as Obito gapes at her.

“Wh- no?! Rin, you know that we have no idea if Kamui works here! How could I use it if it _doesn’t_ work?!”

Rin rolls her eyes, turning to look over her shoulder as she hauls them behind a thick tree trunk and to an abrupt halt.

“Why are we stopping? She’s still after us, there’s no way she’s not going to catch us!” Kakashi asks, his voice cracking slightly in a way that Obito will totally make fun of when he isn't scared shitless.

“That’s why Obito is going to use his fancy Sharingan to get us out of here,” Rin sings, her tone terrifyingly innocent.

Even after years of re-learning how to interact with a team that hadn’t existed in decades, Obito’s still completely blindsided whenever Rin or Kakashi pull something like this. “I just said, we have _no id–_ ”

Slapping a hand over his mouth, Rin leans her sweet, terrible smile into Obito’s face. “Mm-mm, you already made two decades worth of choices in my name; it’s my turn to be the lead decision maker now!”

Pressing himself into the tree in an attempt to escape Rin’s threatening stare without putting himself into Kushina’s warpath earlier than is inevitable, Obito casts a desperate plea for help over at Kakashi. The idiot is too busy trying to figure out if he’s enjoying seeing Rin bully Obito or stressed about their impending double deaths via fiery blunt force trauma to actually pay attention to Obito's mounting panic. Grimacing at the lack of help on that front, Obito reluctantly nods and shuts his eyes, more to avoid looking at Rin again than to actually focus on an ability he’s pretty sure died when he did.

Obito figures that he’s already stared down his own oncoming death twice now and that he’d rather not rack that count up to three, so he keeps staring at the backs of his eyelids even as he hears stomping footsteps grow closer and closer. He feels his heartrate increase with each step, with Rin’s tightening fingers and Kakashi’s panicked breathing. He’s definitely not panicking when Kushina starts calling out to them from far too close for comfort. He maybe, _slightly_ , panics, just a bit, when Kakashi suddenly grabs his shoulder in a death grip, apropos of nothing, and the sinking feeling in his stomach turns into a sharp lurch.

Kushina rounds on an empty clearing, the only sign of disturbance three sets of stationary footprints still fresh in the grass.

 

* * *

 

The first thing that registers in his mind is the pain. Not at all the pain that he was expecting, the feeling of piercing, aching agony straining the entire right side of his body as opposed to the digging, hot drag of knuckles over his head, startling him into opening his eyes. He would have taken a stumbling step forward in a thoughtless attempt to escape the deluge of agony, but he does not. He cannot. There is something around him, encasing him, that doesn’t allow it.

Instead, he stares ahead of him at a memory he had previously buried deep enough in his mind that he could fool himself into thinking that the details had clouded with age. Rain blotting out a gray sky, Kiri shinobi filling a clearing with jeers and taunts, and the stench of blood, overpowering even the damp earthy smell he’s all but chocking on.

The sound of a thousand chirping birds snaps him into action as he’s allowed to lurch forward, locking his gaze onto two small figures surrounded by a swarm of enemy-nin, in motion against the closest combatants. One already turned to face the other, already moving forward. Obito opens his mouth to yell out, horror and denial ringing in his ears as something forces his jaw shut and locks his body in place.

In all of his nightmares, this has never happened before; it’s never been so painful, so _clear_. Hell, he had stopped having nightmares altogether once he entered fuzzy existence in the Pure Land. He could only ever remember fleeting snatches of past dreams - being dropped into the middle of what was shaping up to be one of the worse ones he’s had after so long of a respite was undoing a lot of careful rehabilitation he’d been (“lovingly” forced) into, and was certainly doing half of Zetsu’s job for him.

Because it could only really be Zetsu who’s wrapped around him like one of Suna’s puppets, in _this_ kind of dream. He is supposed to watch Rin die, after all, and he can't do that if he jumps in and saves her.

Obito will not let this happen.

His limbs feel weak from disuse and agony, his right side isn’t responding at all. He shouldn’t have the ability to use Kamui yet... but, Rin is already in front of Kakashi. His choice is so simple, there isn’t even one at all. If Zetsu is an immovable barrier keeping him rooted in place, he just has to be untouchable.

With his working eye trained on Rin’s form, Obito sends a familiar jolt of chakra into said eye, stumbling forward on barely functioning legs as he feels an echoing twinge from the eye he’d given to (stolen back from) Kakashi. He’s not going to make it, he’s too far and too slow ghosting through startled Kiri nin, unresponsive limbs moving like lead as he sees Kakashi’s crackling fist slide neatly through Rin’s – right side? Obito reaches the pair in time to see Kakashi twist  _through_ Rin’s falling body and bury his chakra-coated hand into the ground with a distressed sound, lilt to the side, chakra next to nothing. Obito's body moves without any conscious thought on his part to fling his out arms as he all but collapses in front of his two once-and-again-teammates, trying to keep them from hitting the ground as though that would make everything okay.

The battle around them pauses as Obito and a hyperventilating Rin collide and fall through a now unconscious Kakashi, all three of them landing hard on the ground. Wide eye staring dumbly at the still breathing forms of the two people he’s spent almost a decade all but attached at the hip with, Obito’s hands shake as he forces his arms to reach through the pain and exhaustion so he can touch his friends. A spike in killing intent has Obito’s head snapping up to the Kiri nin, who have apparently decided that they’ve seen enough of this freaky ghost act and would rather just get it over with and kill all three (two, they still needed Rin, didn’t they?) of them. Seeing over twenty pissed off ninja, sensing a Zetsu clone lurking in the nearby forest line, and feeling the extent of just how un-battle-ready his body currently is, Obito makes his hands fall onto two blood-soaked arms and _pushes_.

 

* * *

 

A head tilts sideways in the space between two trees shrouded with darkness, followed by a high-pitched hum.

“Such a mess, such a mess. That certainly wasn’t supposed to happen~”

The fact that the boy had unlocked the Mangekyo Sharingan and was actually able to use it to a proficient degree seconds after its activation was… useful. Still, it wouldn’t do for rumors of a rouge Uchiha with extraordinary powers to spread. How sloppy of little Obito to leave them alive – he should know better.

Ah well, it's nothing that can't be trained out of the boy once they bring him back to the old fool.

 

* * *

 

Obito lets himself slump the rest of the way onto the comparatively clean surface of his kamui dimension and regrets it almost immediately as what seems like every part of his body does a good impression of being on fire. He’s certain that it will hurt even more to move from his spot on the ground, so Obito doesn’t, and pushes the pain to the back of his mind to focus on the feeling of two warm, breathing bodies pressed into his sides.

After five minutes of trying to work out the pros and cons of convincing himself that he’s currently dreaming, Obito blinks his eye open as Rin uncurls from the tight ball she’d formed as soon as she collapsed back in the clearing. He can feel her fingers shaking as she presses them to the underside of his chin to check for a pulse, the sensation burning slightly before she yanks her hand away and grabs a fistful of Obito’s filthy travel cloak instead as she reaches over him to hastily repeat the same process for Kakashi. She’s all but laying on top of Obito at this point, shaking. Still stuck half in his own head, Obito clumsily tries to pat her arm reassuringly, and decides that his arm feeling more like it’s about to fall off is well worth it when Rin makes a short sound in response.

Rin blinks at him with red-ringed, poisonously yellow eyes, and the only thing Obito can think is _now all three of us have red eyes_. He must have said as much out loud, since Rin snorts and heaves herself off of what Kakashi would jokingly call a puppy pile. Since Obito can barely lift his arms, he stays put and does his best to not get in her way as she drags Kakashi over to the nearest pillar and arranges him so that he’s slumped against it. Stays silent as she comes back to his side, her hands hesitating for a split second before sliding under him and carefully lifting him so she can drag his immobile ass over to Kakashi’s side. Despite how careful she's being, Obito still ends up closing his eyes and clenching his jaw against the nausea rolling in his stomach from how much everything hurt.

“…wasn’t what I meant when I told you to use Kamui.”

Obito's nightmares have never talked back to him before. He blinks his lone eye open, dazed. Either his dream theory has just taken a long walk off of a short cliff, or this is actually the first shared dream recorded without one of the participants being a Yamanaka.

He scrunches up his nose and clicks his tongue at her. “’told you it was a bad idea.”

Rin pauses, crouched in the process of lowering Obito into a sitting position, snorts, and lets him drop the last few inches. “Bullshit. You just said you didn’t think you could do it, not that it was a bad idea – which, by the way, it looks like you were wrong about too.”

Too busy trying to curl into himself so the pain would stop existing, Obito doesn’t respond. Rin jabs her finger into his left side, offended by this. Obito makes a high pitched whine, aiming for it to be as loud, long, and annoying as he can make it.

Rin shoves one of her hands over his face, but when she lets up he can see that her eyes are back to their normal brown, a smile tugging at her lips. Obito’s own smile quickly becomes strained as she strips his traveling cloak off with brutal efficiency, repositioning him as she needs to, and starts inspecting him for injuries. “So, what fun new adventure have you thrown us into this time?”

Obito scowls. “You cannot be trying to pin all of the blame on me for this; you’re the one who pissed off Kushina-san in the first place!”

“That’s great, Obito! A real, super great answer. It’s also not relevant to the question I asked, though, so how about you try again?”

“Afterlife’s first non-Yamanaka-induced shared dream?” he tries, and automatically cringes.

Unimpressed silence. Rin doesn’t even bother to acknowledge his plea for denial.

Obito grumbles, “But time travel sounds stupid. Why would we even be kids again? Why would we be dropped into _that_ moment, out of literally every conceivable moment in time? Why is it more plausible than a really intricate group fever dream that we can just wake up from?”

“It’s more plausible because you used your Sharingan, which messes with space-time, while we were somewhere where space and time have little to no meaning. That, and there are some things that you can’t just dream up. Having an entire bijuu stuck inside of you is one of them. It’s not a dream, Obito,” Rin explains as she wipes away something Obito doesn’t want to think about from where his right side is grafted onto the rest of his body, her other hand digging around in her medical pouch. Ignoring his wounded expression, she asks, “Do you have any wrap in here? I’d rather not have you falling apart on me, but all of the bandages I have aren’t clean anymore.”

Obito cranes his head from side to side in a weak attempt to see a pattern in the square pillars surrounding them before narrowing his eye in thought. “If this is my old kamui dimension, there should be some emergency medical supplies roughly forty feet to our left; we’re screwed if it’s been reset along with everything else, though. Personal pocket dimensions seldom come pre-stocked, you know.”

Narrowing her eyes at his sarcasm, Rin withdraws her hands and stands up. “I’ll be back in two minutes - make sure you don’t have a meltdown while I’m gone. If you do, have it loud enough that I know to come back and force you into a mandatory puppy pile regardless of your half-plant, half-dead status.” She leaves him loudly listing off reasons why they could totally still be in a weird dream into the still silence of kamui, where even he can admit that some form of time travel is starting to look more likely than _Kushina-san punched us all in the head hard enough to morph us into one being and knock us unconscious at the same time, where we’re having a concussion-induced hell dream_. He’s gone quiet by the time Rin comes back, gives Kakashi a once over, and crouches next to him again, long strips of bandages in her hands and one of his spare medical kits resting next to her knee.

That's one question answered, apparently. Obito takes a pained breath.

“So. A jinchuuriki,” he manages. “…how’s that cursed seal working out for you?”

“About as well as the one that’s still on you, I imagine,” Rin replies, mild as milk.

Obito curses, body tensing as he she uses his distraction to pull him up so she can actually keep him from letting his own stupidity bisect him.

Rin grabs his shoulders, which were currently up by his ears, and forces them back down. Her fingers briefly dig into the pressure points on his collarbone before she eases up and starts efficiently wrapping him up like he's a dumbass who's literally falling apart at the seams. “I can’t believe you forgot about that,” she says, more amused than judgmental. “I’d offer to fix yours if you fix mine, but we both know that out of the three of us, Kakashi is the best at seals.”

Obito glances over to where Kakashi’s slumped form is piled next to him. “What’s wrong with him now? He doesn’t _look_ like he’s dying, but there’s no other reason I can think of for why he’s still unconscious.”

Slapping away the hand reaching over to poke at the silver haired boy, Rin tugs carefully on Obito’s brand new wrappings to make sure they’re secure. “He has your Sharingan again, Obito.”

“I kind of guessed, what with my depth perception suddenly going to shit, Rin. What’s that got to do with him being extra-useless?” Obito whines, clutching his hand to his chest and pretending he was doing it to be dramatic.

Rin’s stare is definitely judgmental this time. “Kakashi’s always had low reserves, Obito.”

“And?” Obito asks, growing more and more uncomfortable under Rin’s increasingly deadpan stare until it finally clicks. “He passed out because of _chakra_ _exhaustion?!_ ”

“With how often you stalked him in the past, I thought that it would have been fairly obvious – it’s not like it’s an uncommon occurrence,” Rin quips at him, tossing one of his spare Akatsuki cloaks he'd missed her dragging back with the medical kit in his face to watch him splutter. “Plus, he passed out last time, too.”

“But – this time he barely even used his Chidori, or my Sharingan! His reserves aren’t shitty enough that just having my eye would knock him out!” Obito blusters, shaking the stiff cloak weakly at her.

“But using your Mangekyo did, back before he trained himself out of it,” Rin points out, ignoring the bright blush on his face as she moves to help him drape the red and black cloth around his smaller form.

Obito pauses, thinking back to the battlefield where he had run through everyone, untouchable as always, until he’d run _into_ Rin. He makes a face. “It’s not supposed to work like that. He’s not supposed to be coming up with new applications for _my_ Sharingan! He can barely even use it in the first place!”

Rin swats him upside the head with a glowing green hand. “ _That’s_ what you’re choosing to focus on? Really, _how_ old are you again?”

Obito opens his mouth, smug.

Rin cuts him off. “Physically being a child does not give you a free pass to revert to the emotional maturity of one. You made good progress on that front, and I will not have all of my hard work be wiped out by some accidental Sharingan bullshit.”

Obito _tsks_ but settles down, burrowing into the oversized coat like a blanket as he finally stops shivering. He closes his eye, focusing on the new stinging edge to Rin’s chakra as she does her best to repair the rest of the damage he’d done to his body running around without Zetsu acting as a crutch (a _puppeteer_.)

Her control seemingly evaporates at odd intervals, where she immediately cuts off any medical jutsu she’s preforming, only to return seconds later as she resumes her work as though it wasn’t interrupted in the first place. Spikes of acerbic chakra occasionally fill the air around them with killing intent, but not once has Obito seen Rin do more than twitch an eyebrow in annoyance before closing her eyes moments before the foreign chakra recedes. Obito’s seen a good number of jinchuuriki seals during his time as the shadow leader of an international terrorist group hell-bent on getting the bijuu out of said seals – he’s seen bad seals before, knows how weak they are and what they can do to their container; the fact that Rin is able to use something as precise as medical chakra at all is a statistical impossibility, to say nothing of the seemingly casual way she controls the Sanbi’s no doubt violent attempts to escape. He’s always known that she was terrifying, but Obito’s pretty sure that having extra confirmation will be gratifying once he’s finished being intimidated.

“You’re pretty good at that,” he undersells when Rin lowers her hands after the fifth aborted bijuu chakra bleed-over. “Most people don’t have the mental willpower to handle a fully restrained bijuu, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard about anyone who could even survive one that’s barely shackled and awake enough to be pissed off and want to do something about it.” There, complementing someone and sharing information in the same sentence – hallmarks of emotional maturity. Obito’s got this thing on lock. “How are you doing it?”

“Pure spite and irritation,” Rin fires back immediately, a chilling smile she likes to describe as cheerful sliding onto her face as she tucks her medical equipment back into the various med-packs she’s amassed around her.

“Ah.” Rin probably _would_ be mad if the three of them were dropped into the start of when everything started really going to shit after decades of letting the past stay in the past, torn from the unique perspectives and opportunities afforded to them by their existence in the Pure Land, wouldn’t she. And given that it was his Kamui that had put them in this situation…

“Sorry?” he squeaks.

Rin rolls her eyes, her smile warming into something at least tangentially related to sincerity. “Despite what you’re thinking, I don’t blame you, Obito. You were just doing what I asked; it’s not like you were actively trying to throw us into this clusterfuck.” Sage, but she looks tired. Not alive for more than an hour, and she’s already showing signs of exhaustion.

“You can sleep, you know,” Obito says, haltingly soft, “if anything happens with the Sanbi, I’ve got us covered.” He taps under his eye, a crooked smile on his face.

Rin makes a skeptical noise. “Obito –”

“I’ll be fine, I never really needed sleep after I got these,” Obito insisted, nodding to his off-white prosthetics. “Nature chakra and sunlight are all I need to keep me going for years!”

Rin doesn’t look assured in the slightest.

“I’ll wake you up if Kakashi decides to stop impersonating a dead fish?” he tries, with marginally better success. “Rin, you’re not used to even _having_ chakra anymore. Fighting down a bijuu while using medical jutsu most likely made you use more of it at once than you’ve ever used before. You need to give your body a chance to recover, to get used to handling the chakra of a bijuu alongside your own. I promise, you’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen.” Obito’s not used to being the voice of reason, and it feels _weird_.

With a hint of guilt in her tone, Rin asks, “Don’t you need to adjust too, Obito? I know you don’t like being alone for too long.”

Obito lets the smile slide from his face, shrugs with forced neutrality. “I need time to think before I do anything else,” he decides on; Rin doesn’t like it when he hides things from her, but he also knows not to reveal the full reasoning flashing through his head. It’s not like Rin doesn’t know most of it anyways, but they tend to keep their non-secrets to themselves in order to maintain a passing semblance of personal boundaries more than anything.

With one last hard stare, Rin wordlessly concedes. Leaning back onto the remaining wall space next to Obito and letting her head slump forward a bare second later, her chakra smooths out after a few minutes.

Obito looks at her for a long moment, turns to stare at Kakashi on his other side, before letting his gaze fall to where his hands are loosely clasped in his lap.

He hadn’t lied, he really does need time to think. Obito knows that he has the tendency to jump to conclusions, ignoring anything he hadn’t taken into his initial consideration once he sets a path for himself. He can’t even blame that particular facet of himself on the cursed seal, either, since he’s frequently made those mistakes far before Madara made them worse. It’s best that he takes this moment of relative calm to actually think things through for once; denial, as much as he would like to cling to it for as long as possible, isn’t going to do him any favors now. Obito’s already been burned badly enough by plans that failed because he refused to listen to reason.

On the other hand, he also needs to clearly lay out all of the facts and implications he can in order to avoid panicking. He’s a lot less inclined to lose it now than he was as a child, but without the iron-clad resolution he’d had when he bought into Madara’s delusion, Obito knows that he’s more vulnerable to panic and self-doubt than he’s comfortable with. The three of them had only been in what Obito tentatively labels as the “living world” for less than a minute before he’d absconded them into kamui, but as a shinobi who had been trained by two infamously strong ninja and who’d orchestrated an entire war, it’s more than enough for a good starting point.

He needs a plan, something to focus on and keep him on track, something to keep him from losing himself. A good plan takes a large amount of time and information, has no room for personal fears or bias. He knows this. He has time for this. He can do this.

Obito closes his eye and plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got about a chapter and a half written and not proof read, but I can't promise quick updates.  
> Also, I haven't actually read Naruto, but I've certainly seen a certain abridged series, read plenty of time-travel fix-it fics, and know how to use the naruto-wiki. I'm not infallible, though, so hmu if I've goofed anything up. I'll post the second chapter after I've fixed it up enough to be happy with it.
> 
> EDIT: I fixed the Iwa-nin thing, thank you LilyWhite_KittyWake!


	2. Seals and You (the Feeling of Regret Stemming From Not Breaking Into Forbidden Archives When You had the Chance)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito plots and gets distracted easily, Kakashi wakes up and gets reacquainted with his good friend denial, and Rin likes to think that she's the only member of her team who isn't a disaster. Banter is had, an enormous chakra being is talked to, and Kamui gets a little bit greener as team seven pretends that their avoidance of the real world is because they're planning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see any mistakes, please let me know. Enjoy!

 

**Procrastination for the Recently Un-Deceased**

 

 

Everything feels a little less on fire, now that Obito’s had a chance to adjust physically and mentally.

It’s not that he isn’t in a truly stupid amount of pain anymore, because he is. He’s had roughly ten hours to adjust to the constant ache, acclimating himself to what moving feels like again and rebuilding a tolerance he’d had trained into him the hard way the first time around. He had forgotten just how fragile the patchwork job Madara had done on him was. As soon as he doesn’t have to worry about tearing anything, fixing the frankly appalling lack of strength of his plant-limbs is definitely high up on his priority list.

Sadly, Obito’s still trying to come to terms with the fact that something is actually, really wrong - that this isn’t just something he’ll wake up from again. He doesn’t feel like he’s edging into the dangerous territories of denial anymore, though, so at least there’s that. He’s not proud of the fact that he tends to get violent when something he had taken as fact gets challenged, and he would really rather not be the instigator of yet more inter-team violence (he’s already done so much to damage them, he refuses to add another layer of red to his ledger in this regard).

So, he’s planned.

Using what little context clues he’s scrounged up from what Obito swears is literally thin air, he’s spent the silent hours alternating between watching his family, asleep and injured, together and breathing in a way they never quite managed in the Pure World, and plotting his heart out.

Immediate issues, health and seals mostly, followed by potential courses of action, people and plots in motion that would end up (probably) running up against the continued well-being of Obito’s family.

Lesser issues, clothing and supplies that they’ll end up needing no matter what they end up deciding to do in the future, how they’ll act around others and exactly how forthcoming they’re planning on being when people start asking questions…

He doesn’t actually have anything close to a fully-realized plan, not with the sheer shitshow this whole experience has proven to be so far, but he at least has the beginnings of one. An incomplete map of potentials with so little information it can’t even be called conjecture, more reminiscent of a stab in the dark than anything else, guided by wishful thinking. Still, it’s enough that he feels comfortable enough to do more than glare at his hands for hours on end.

Now, he should probably be focusing on the fact that Kakashi has decided he’d rather be asleep than unconscious, twitching slightly and muttering like no self-respecting shinobi would in the middle of a mission.

Hmm, the last thing he saw before passing out like a loser was his arm going through Rin, wasn’t it? Granted, it never actually touched her, since Kakashi had somehow managed to figure out a way to apply Kamui’s intangibility to someone _not_ him. Still, since Obito also knows just how shitty Kakashi’s self-perception is, how much of a pessimist he is, he’s pretty sure that whatever Kakashi thought he saw, it wasn’t what Obito saw.

Rin can be mad at him later, Obito decides, and chucks one of the old dango skewers he found in a pocket of his cloak-turned-blanket at Kakashi.

Because the entire world is conspiring against him his throw falls embarrassingly short, not even clearing half of the distance between him and Kakashi. Honestly, he could have reached out and jabbed him with the stick and gotten better results. Why did he think it would be a good idea to use his right hand to throw? Personally insulted, he snatches his failed projectile off of his lap and tries again.

If takes him three more attempts before he finally nails Kakashi on the crown of his head, Obito can’t be blamed for trying to regain some of the dexterity he currently lacks. He also can’t be blamed if the first thing Kakashi wakes up to is Obito victoriously crowing over his success.

Courteously ignoring Kakashi’s quick breathing and wide eyes, Obito works on schooling his face into a neutral scowl rather than the delighted grin he could have sworn was a smirk a second ago. By the time he manages to squash his smile, Kakashi’s staring at the skewer he picks out of his hair with a blank look that’s actually making Obito kind of jealous. Notably, though, he’s not looking at Obito.

“…is this a dango stick?”

Obito can feel his face heating up. “So what if it is?!” he snarls, snatching it out of Kakashi’s hand in retribution – or, well, trying to.

Kakashi looks at where Obito ineffectually rammed his hand into his arm, slowly turning his head to give him a decidedly unimpressed stare.

Obito growls.

Kakashi tucks the stick into his weapons pouch primly, ignoring Obito’s inarticulate rage, and pointedly closes his eye as he leans back with an air of superiority. His hands are shaking.

Inhaling deeply, Obito takes the mature route and shoves aside his knee-jerk reaction. Mostly. Kakashi had at least looked at him, which he’s sure is what Rin would call progress. Since the silver-haired annoyance seems content to wallow in his own denial, Obito figures that the least he can do is snap him out of it before Rin does it for him. (No, he’s not a hypocrite, he’s just – helpful.)

“Oh, no, by all means, go right back to sleep – those ten hours you just spent unconscious must have been _so_ exhausting.” Just because he’s being the mature one doesn’t mean that he’s not allowed to be sarcastic. He would probably actually implode if he wasn’t.

Kakashi hums lightly in agreement, sounding wholly unbothered by Obito’s sass.

Obito feels his eye twitch. “You –” he cuts himself off abruptly, turning sharply to focus on digging through his blanket’s pockets.

He can feel Kakashi’s prickling gaze on him almost immediately, but the bastard doesn’t speak up for another three minutes.

“…what are you doing?”

He's talking, which is progress, but his tone is still too bland. Obito’s sure he has the perfect solution for that, if he can just find it. He pushes his chin out as loftily as he can while he’s still burying himself in his old cloak, “I’m looking for something.”

“…” Kakashi waits, but eventually breaks under Obito’s purposefully obtrusive rustling. “What are you looking for?”

“Something else to throw at you, since you took away my improvised senbon,” he says, graciously ignoring Kakashi’s muttered " _dango stick."_ It’s not his fault Kakashi isn’t able to fully appreciate the true brilliance of improvised weapons. (Never mind the fact that he’d once seen Kakashi take down multiple targets with nothing but dango sticks and the plate they came with while on one of the missions he’d been stalking – ah, monitoring him. That purple-haired kunoichi mission partner of his must have been a bad influence.)

Out of the corner of his eye, he can see Kakashi tilt his head judgmentally, no doubt at the clumsy way Obito’s fingers are bumbling through various pockets despite his best efforts. He hears Kakashi hum again.

“Are you sure whatever you finally settle on will actually make it all the way to me?” he drawls, closing his eye when Obito turns to glare at him. “It looks like you’re having some performance issues.”

Squawking, Obito snaps and tries to throw his entire cloak at Kakashi. He ends up flailing hard enough that he falls over, his arms tangled in the black fabric and his head smushed into the dirty fabric of Kakashi’s pants.

Since his face has decided that it wants to become one with Kakashi’s gross pants, Obito doesn’t get a good look at the haughty way he quirks his unscarred eyebrow, but he can certainly feel it in Kakashi’s meager chakra.

“I’m not quite sure what you’re trying to propose, here, but I’ll have to respectfully decline. Neither of us are in the right place for love right now, and I’m rather fond of navy blue – it brings out my eyes. Black’s just not my color.” He bats his eye, bashful.

Obito seriously considers biting him, since his arms are currently pinned to his sides and useless, but he doesn’t want to get a mouthful of whatever disgusting things are caked on Kakashi’s pants; he’s also absolutely certain that it would only encourage him. Instead, he attempts to light the fucker’s leg on fire, which also doesn’t really work out on the grounds of his hands not being anywhere near where they would need to be to pull of the needed hand signs.

Kakashi lets the silence stretch, purposefully adding tension into the air so that everything just gets awkward. Not one to be cowed, Obito shuffles himself around until he can manage to look up at Kakashi, pressing the side of his cheek into dirty pants as he made sure to position his head as uncomfortably, for Kakashi of course, as possible.

“You can’t have my cloak – you look like shit in dark colors,” he says, just to be a dick.

Kakashi gives him a mournful sigh. “Ah, well then it looks like I’m out of luck on that front then – I’m almost certain that I don’t own anything brighter than dark green.” He reaches down to tug once on the cloak currently trying to strangle Obito and continues, “I’m also not sure how much stock I want to put into the fashion advice of someone who’s favorite colors seem to be orange and purple.”

Obito blinks. _Purple?_ Where’d he come up with that?

Scowling, he thumps his head against Kakashi’s lap. “This is getting stupid. Why the hell are we talking about colors?” The sharp pain from his self-imposed jostling is worth the way he can feel Kakashi go tense as the younger boy’s hands shoot up to hover by Obito’s head.

“You’re the one trying to get me to take your clothes,” Kakashi simpers, grating, before he abruptly switches tones. “You aren’t going to try to get me to take your heart too, are you?” He’s staring at Obito with both eyes wide, the tinge of fear in them more present than Obito’s ever seen Kakashi let it be.

He can’t be certain that there’s any other way to get the cursed seal off of his heart, though, so he hedges his answer even though he knows it’s not what Kakashi needs to hear. “Well…”

Kakashi flinches, and Obito definitely doesn’t wince.

“We’ll have the chance to get to know each other first, really lay all our options on the table before we take any steps that big,” he allows, because having his heart ripped out again isn’t an experience he particularly wants to repeat, and because the familiar bullshiting makes Kakashi relax slightly under him.

Kakashi takes a breath, but is cut off before he can no doubt stare open-mouthed at Obito for a minute while he tries not to be emotionally constipated.

“Do I even want to know what you two are talking about?”

Obito freezes as Kakashi all but melts into the pillar with relief. It’s great that Kakashi’s fears of Rin being dead again are assuaged, no thanks to the boy himself, but Obito was supposed to wake Rin up when Kakashi stopped playing at being some moderately interesting looking dead weight.

“Ah, that is –” he starts, trying to push himself up without using his arms, still trapped in his cloak. “We were just trying to figure out which of the two of us had the heart to wake you! Since you looked so tired!” he nudges Kakashi as subtly as he can with a fabric-encased arm.

“Yes, exactly.” Kakashi says with absolutely no inflection, staring blankly at Rin as she moves to kneel at his side with her hands glowing green. “He was in no way trying to profess his undying love for me through material possessions and tragically stunted romantic allusions.”

“ _I’m_ the stunted one?!” Obito yells over Rin’s sudden fit of giggles, outraged. The rest of the sentence finishes processing when Kakashi shifts his gaze to him and pointedly raises an eyebrow. “Romantic?!”

Rin gently tilts Kakashi’s hitai-ate over his closed Sharingan as Obito splutters, patting his head to check for a concussion again before she leans over to do the same to Obito. “I’m glad that you’ve finally overcome your crippling fear of meaningful emotional attachment, Obito, Kakashi. I wish you the best of luck with _that_ endeavor.”

“There is always a special place for you in our hearts, Rin, and know that I would welcome you into our arms without question if you so desired. Obito would raze the world to the ground just to give you the choice.” Kakashi says with as much gravitas as his eleven-year-old voice can manage, which is cheap, since Obito’s too busy biting the inside of his cheek to avoid vocalizing the pain Rin’s putting him through while getting him untangled to fight back.

“Thanks Kakashi, I’ll keep that in mi-” Rin’s dry retort cuts off abruptly as she hunches slightly, her hands clenching into fists as blue-tinted chakra bubbles around her. Just as quickly as it came, the chakra recedes and Rin straightens up. “-in mind.” She fends off Kakashi’s hovering hands, turning her attention back onto Obito’s sorry state. “It can wait,” she huffs.

“Rin,” Kakashi starts, his tone sharp, but Rin just rolls her eyes.

“Don’t you use your teacher voice on me, Kakashi. I need to make sure that you two idiots aren’t going to keel over and die on me before we can even think of doing anything else.” She props Obito up against Kakashi’s shoulder. “How else am I going to fix up my busted seal?”

Derailed from his hypocritical ‘responsibilities’ lecture, Kakashi blinks. “Ah.”

Rin presses her lips together as she checks Obito’s chest wrappings, and Obito rolls his eye.

“Right, I – I can do that,” Kakashi finishes lamely.

Obito snorts, but doesn’t say anything else as their shortest teammate tucks his chin into his chest, his gaze focused. Kakashi’s going to be like that for a while, working over his weirdly in depth knowledge of forbidden seals, and he’ll be hell to deal with if they snap him out of his zone.

Resigning herself to nonverbal communication, Rin tilts her head at Obito, prompting. Obito shrugs and makes a “so-so” gesture with his good hand, wilting slightly when she glares at him for moving his shoulder. Knowing that she won’t be content with a sub-par sit-rep, he signs, ‘ _He wasn’t good when he first woke up, but he hasn’t freaked out yet. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s actually moving on or if it’s just denial, but I’m leaning more towards the latter.’_

Rin grimaces as she checks over her work re-wrapping Obito’s bandages. _‘He’ll still put his full effort into working on the seals either way, but we may need to figure out a way to snap him out of it before he hurts himself,’_ she signs back after she tucks Obito back under his cloak, moving to sit on the ground in front of him. _‘How are_ you _holding up?’_

Obito grimaces. _‘Still trying to cling to denial myself, so thanks for that,’_ he starts, pouting when Rin lightly whaps his good foot in reprimand. _‘Overall, better than I was before. If things to start to get bad, I know that I’ll have to talk it out with the two of you.’_

 _‘A pretty good safety precaution if you ask me,’_ Rin quips.

 _‘The main thing that I’m focusing on right now is the seals, though,’_ he continues without acknowledging Rin’s self-serving commendation, _‘so I’ll check back in once we figure this out and I move onto the next thing to worry about.’_

Nodding, Rin takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She's obviously concentrating on something, most likely the Sanbi. Obito, unwilling to do anything even possibly detrimental to his teammate’s future well-being, which would definitely include fucking up a better relationship between Rin and her bijuu, lets their silent conversation dwindle to a close.

Leaving Obito with nothing to do but stare into the blank sky of Kamui.

He’s frustrated, but he’s already done all of the planning he conceivably can with the information he has. He can’t help Rin with the Sanbi, the presence of a Sharingan user no doubt a nonstarter for negotiation processes between jinchuuriki and bijuu, and he can’t help Kakashi with the seals, since the only thing he Madara had taught him was how to _break_ various ones specifically created to contain tailed beasts.

He can’t do anything right now, so he just sits. Looks at the ground. Contemplates whether he could use his Mokuton to grow anything in this gray dimension, without sunlight or soil.

…Maybe some moss?

 

* * *

 

The acerbic sting of malevolent chakra against his skin wakes Obito, the lack of killing intent in the air keeping him content to stay laying where he is, two bodies pressed up against his sides. He can practically see the roiling blue chakra burning his left side, but even as he starts to open his eye it’s already fading.

By the time Kakashi had finally come up with a working plan on how to deal with the various seals spread throughout their group, Rin had been back from her meditation with the Sanbi, visibly frustrated.

The bijuu may be ancient beings made of chakra, but they sure could hold a grudge for a long while.

The Sanbi, according to Rin’s pinched explanation, is far too distrusting of their hosts, having been used as nothing more than a chained weapon against their will for far too long. The fact that Rin was a medic, that she had no plans for destruction on such a scale as to require the might of a bijuu, wasn’t enough to overcome over a century of distrust and paranoia. She’d gotten further with them than she’d expected to, based on what she knew of the tailed beasts from watching and listening to Kakashi’s interactions with Naruto as a ghost, but still nowhere near far enough for any of them to be comfortable with their newest addition; especially not with Rin’s seal being broken as it currently is.

Rin had promised them with fire burning in her eyes that she would continue to talk to the bijuu and gain their trust and partnership no matter what it took. She had been exhausted though, and had taken the opportunity to slump against Obito’s side and revel in the short break from the Sanbi’s chakra she had managed to manufacture for herself. Giving the bijuu so much to think about that they had retreated so far into her mental world had been tiring for both of them, but the end result seems to have been worth it. The Sanbi’s retreat had actually managed to pull a majority of their burning chakra along for the ride, which all of them are grateful for.

Since she has the smallest chakra reserves out of the three of them, not including the boost the Sanbi gives her, the constant drain of combating the ill effects of bijuu chakra on an unconditioned sacrifice takes almost everything she has, so the fact that she was having a hard time keeping her head up was not unexpected.

Kakashi, ever the pessimist, never actually made a plan for how to deal with a cooperative bijuu and instead had started his initial seal work with the worst case scenario in mind, so they’re not in too much trouble on that front. It is a lot safer to modify seals with a bijuu who wasn’t actively trying to destroy its container. If the Sanbi is thoughtful rather than murderous, it just means that the extra layers of security Kakashi’s set up will be redundant, not problematic.  He’d gone from planning his seals to drawing them out and critiquing them without pause, barely even waiting long enough for Rin and Obito to catch him up with her newest jinchuuriki revelations.

Once in a while, he wandered off beyond Obito’s range of sight, hunting for some material he needs and didn’t have on his person, but he always strode back to where they’d set up for the time being. Kakashi’s process of making sure he got the seal just right included him drawing it out dozens of times – leaving Obito with a wealth of information on the mechanics behind the cushier parts of the seal, along with a minefield of semi-active, heavy duty experimental sealing seals scattered throughout Kamui that he’s going to have to track down and nullify sooner rather than later. Getting blown up from the backlash of an unfinished seal he’d forgotten about isn't something he wants to do in the future.

By the time that Kakashi actually stopped scurrying around and sat down with the two others, Obito had been pretty out of it, dozing under Rin’s warm weight. He barely recalls Kakashi leaning against his side and the quiet brush of ink against paper, and as he blinks from underneath the two warm bodies piled on top of him he blankly hopes that Kakashi hasn’t spilled any ink on him.

Rin shifts again, elbowing Obito in the stomach as she pushes herself upright, and she reaches over to shove Kakashi’s head lightly. Kakashi didn’t react, and Obito whines when Rin gets annoyed and reaches over again to rub her knuckles over Kakashi’s dirty hair, squishing Obito between them.

“Come on, Kakashi, you can get started on recreating Obito’s habits later. I know you’re awake, so let’s get this over with.”

Kakashi groans and tries to bury his head further into Obito’s shoulder, away from Rin’s offending fist.

Flailing as Rin leans her full weight onto him, Obito successfully displaces both of the leeches on top of him, the twin thumps music to his ears. “If you’re going to threaten Kakashi, could you please wait until I’m not in the danger zone?” he huffs.

Kakashi cracks open an eye to give Obito what is probably supposed to be a pitiful stare and Rin scoffs in his face, picking up a handful of moss and tossing it at Obito.

“No, because your reactions are half of the reason the threats work at all,” she says dryly, “Mr. _I don’t need to sleep_.”

Obito squawks and tries to catch the flying moss before it gets lost in the flurry of limbs Rin initiates as she all but tackles Kakashi, who’s eye was shut again as he feigns sleep, and ends up cradling the abused clump in both hands. Carefully, he ignores the scuffle behind him to gently place his green handful on the ground on top of the mossy carpet underneath them, willing it to become less of a dying, uprooted chunk and more of a small mound in an otherwise flat patch. He slowly pushes himself to his feet so he’ll look more intimidating, eye flashing with annoyance, and turns to his teammates.

“Stop killing my moss!”

The blanket of moss heaves under Rin and Kakashi’s feet, dumping them onto the hard gray ground and causing them to yell simultaneously.

“Obito!”

They both jump up and round on him, offended.

Obito ignored them, tilting his head up arrogantly.

Sighing, Kakashi gives in first and shakes the tension out of his shoulders, burying his hands into his pockets. His signature slouch that he had been known for looked unnatural on him now, small shoulders too used to a rigid and unbending posture to acclimate well to anything resembling relaxation. He shrugs, and attempts to distract them both with something _practical_. “Well, it would probably be best if you let the Sanbi know that we’re about to mess around with their seal, Rin, but after that’s out of the way, it’s a simple fix,” he pauses as Rin nods. “On the other hand, both of your compulsion seals need more than a little work to break. I never really had the opportunity to study that type of seal in depth, and I want to be absolutely certain that the counterseals are going to work completely.”

Obito makes a face at that, and Kakashi scrubs a hand through his hair in aggravation.

“Hey, it’s not my fault that I didn’t routinely break into forbidden scrolls about behavior-altering seals!” Glaring at Obito, Kakashi takes a deep breath and continues, “Unrealistic blame aside, I’m going to need to get an exact copy of both of your seals, since they’re probably different. Obito, do you have any more paper in this garbage dump you call a pocket dimension?”

Rin groans as Obito gasps, deeply offended.

“It’s not a garbage dump, you bastard!” Seething, he hisses under his breath, “Half of the shit in here is from you, anyway.”

Rin arches an eyebrow. “So you admit that you do just have random crap in here?”

Obito shoots her an absolutely betrayed look. “I let you into my home, I let you use my bed –”

“A bed of moss, you mean,” Rin interrupts.

“– and this is how you repay me? Demands and insults?” He digs into the pocket of his Akatsuki robe, which had served them well as their makeshift blanket earlier, and dramatically flings a medium sized packet of paper at Kakashi. “Here, just take it,” he bemoans, ignoring the fact that Kakashi has to leap forward to actually catch the sheath of papers.

Rin swats the back of his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize in advance, but my pacing is all over the place. They're not going to get out of kamui for a hot second, folks, they've got to be stubborn idiots first. Also of note, I'm not really writing this as any particular pairing, but read it however you want. I'm just someone who's a really big fan of sarcastic bickering and can't pick up literally anything to do with romance. Seriously, it just flies right over my head.
> 
> I'm trying to branch away from lengthy sentences, which are a chore to read. If you notice a difference in writing style, that's probably why. This isn't meant to be super serious, but the story might get away from me. I try to focus on humorous character interactions! 
> 
> If you were wondering - yes, the purple haired kunoichi was Anko, and yes, she was a bad influence. The 'habit' of Obito's that Rin admonishes Kakashi for recreating is trying to keep his loved ones close without actually doing anything to signify that's what he's doing. That, or spying on them when he could just talk to them like a normal person. Why is everyone so tired? I don't know, but I did originally write this during finals week, so there's that.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading!


	3. Self Care with the Trauma Crew (This Time with Better Coping Methods)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito gets left alone for too long, Kakashi runs out of ink, and Rin's on the verge of running out of patience. Plans are thought on, a daring escapade is discussed, and Obito gets to go through round two of "Your Artificial Limbs and You, Physical Training Edition," this time with less psychological manipulation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! There's a brief description of something relatively gross in relation to wound care in the fifth paragraph, if anyone gets squicky about that kind of thing. (It's really short, just a couple of words.)

 

**The Mental Benefits of Plants**

 

  

Restless, Obito fidgets with the blades of grass he’d been trying to grow. Kakashi and Rin have long since abandoned him to the increasingly green patch of Kamui he’s sequestered himself to, too busy doing actual work to keep him from feeling like he’s about to implode with undirected energy.

After repairing Rin’s jinchuuriki seal with an impressive light show and minimal screaming, Kakashi had set to work on unravelling both Obito and Rin’s compulsion seals. Turns out, both of them had the exact same seal on their hearts – something none of them had, ironically, seen coming. In retrospect, Obito can only see one reason why Kiri nin would use the same matrix that an ancient ex-Konoha nin would, and he’s not the only one seething at the implications. On the plus side, Kakashi only has to come up with one counterseal.

With her new confidence that she isn’t going to be murdered on the whim of the disgruntled bijuu inside of her, Rin had immediately sat down and returned to meditating, going back to talking to said cranky bijuu face to face, trying to get a feel for the suspicious three-tailed turtle made of chakra. Obito would wish her luck, but he knows just how stubborn and deceptively manipulative Rin can be – coupled with the Sanbi’s gentle nature, however buried it might presently be, and distaste for conflict, he would be surprised if the two of them didn’t become friends within the month.

Obito’s been growing some more plants. He’s not sure that they’re going to do well in the inhospitable conditions of kamui, but he doesn’t have anything else to do. He tried to start conditioning the right side of his body to increase its strength and connection to the rest of him, but Rin had chewed him out when she found him trying to do pushups. He’s sick and tired of planning, knows that going down that rabbit hole again with no new information is just asking for a panic attack, and he’s nowhere near tired enough to just sleep until Rin and Kakashi are ready to actually do something. He’s anxious to get the seal on his heart off, to get out of this dimension and just get whatever this clusterfuck is supposed to be over with. He’s not normally this maudlin, but kamui’s blanketing quiet not even two other people could combat is just really wearing on him.

Plus, they’re almost out of bandages, and he does not want to be around Rin when the medic gets pissed about inadequate supplies. They wouldn’t have to worry about it if Rin didn’t insist on changing them any time they get even a little used – after the strange discharge from his prosthetics had seeped through the layers, after she caught him trying to exercise, after twelve hours regardless of how recently they've been changed in between. She won’t even let him reuse his old bandages, and glares whenever he mentions that he only ever used one set of bandages the first time around. Obito wouldn’t mind as much if it had been enough to push Rin onto his side in wanting to get the hell out of here, but no. She seems content with _waiting_ and talking to the Sanbi. Kakashi’s just a lost cause on this front - it would take nothing short of an unprecedented miracle to convince him that they need to experience more than just their little pocket dimension.

Urgh, he needs to find something productive to do, least he start pulling out his hair and try to pick fights like an idiot.

 

* * *

 

Everything is a lot greener than he remembers it being, Kakashi realizes. He’s not the most observant once he really gets focused on something, he’ll admit – he gets to be quite narrow minded after he really gets going on a specific project. He’s pretty sure that he would have noticed a change as dramatic as this, though. Apparently not.

He rubs at his nose, the strange dissonance of fresh growth and dead emptiness making it itch.

He supposes that he should have expected Obito to get up to something like this in the absence of an actual mission. The idiot never could just sit quietly and wait for others to finish their work, too full of energy to properly execute the basic ninja principle of hurry up and wait. Well, Kakashi supposes that he’ll get his wish for active busywork soon.

“Are you planning on coming here daily to keep everything alive out of spite?” he asks loudly, startling Obito out of his glaring match with a pale stalk of ivy.

“What?” Obito snaps, turning his glare onto Kakashi.

“Your plants,” Kakashi deadpans, “are going to die of malnutrition if you just leave them.”

Obito scrunches up his face at that, betraying the fact that he had guessed what Kakashi has so graciously pointed out but had convinced himself to ignore it and didn’t appreciate Kakashi pointing out the enormous failing in his logic. He affects an arrogant air and crosses his arms, “Shows just what you know – these plants are going to be the healthiest plants that have ever existed.”

Kakashi side-eyes the creeping strands of ivy consuming several of the gray pillars. “The healthiest plants on this plane of existence, maybe.”

Obito huffs, pretending that Kakashi hasn’t just spoken. He grabs Kakashi’s wrist to tug him down near the quiet pillar Rin had commandeered.

Kakashi sits without fuss as Obito all but drapes himself across Kakashi’s legs. He stares at Obito’s upturned face, simply because he knows it annoys him. Obito’s eyebrow twitches, and he visibly aborts a swat at him, but doesn’t actually say anything, so Kakashi keeps staring. “How much sealing ink do you have in here?”

Grumbling, Obito rolls his eye. “How the hell should I know, I’m not the one who’s been using it lately.”

Kakashi pinches Obito’s cheek in response to his quip, much to Obito’s indignation. “Do you have any more squirreled away, I mean. I know roughly how much we’re going to need for your seals, and how much of what I’ve been working with is have left – I just need to know if we need to either try to make our own or figure out the best way to get some. _Without_ making whatever devious plot you’re cooking up eight shades more complicated.”

“You might need someone to go outside?” Obito immediately brightens, latching onto what is, obviously, the most important information in Kakashi’s spiel. A second later, “Wait, why would my plans get more complicated because we need ink?”

Taking his cue from how Tenzō would react whenever _he_ said anything particularly stupid, Kakashi stares unblinkingly at Obito when he turns to look Kakashi. “I don’t know – I’m not you. I just know that they would, because you’re addicted to drama and convoluted extravagance,” Kakashi comments blithely.

Obito grimaces, sweating slightly, and looks over Kakashi’s shoulder to avoid his gaze. “There might be some adjustments such an outing could require,” he hedges, then recovers with, “Since I’m the one with the plan and am apparently so prone to dramatics, I should be the one to go and get the ink!”

“With logic like that, it won’t even be my medical check-up that’ll bar you from going,” Rin slides in, dropping down from atop her pillar. She lands next to Obito, who freezes as if she caught in the act of doing something embarrassing. “You never even answered Kakashi’s question.”

Obito squints at Rin, who raises an eyebrow, then at Kakashi, who sighs heavily.

“Do you have any more ink,” he repeats obligingly.

Humming shortly to himself, Obito frowns and tilts his head, blinks twice, and shoves himself off of Kakashi. “Yes, but there’s not enough for any big projects. There should be a sealing scroll with the rest in one of my spare cloaks.” He turns to Rin again. “What do you mean, you’ll bar me from going?!”

Rin frowns at Obito as Kakashi shuffles off. “If you’re being short-sighted enough that you can’t answer a simple question without being sidetracked, you are in absolutely no shape to go and interact with anything that could potentially impact the rest of our lives here.”

Obito puffs out his chest, but Rin cuts him off. “No, Obito. I know that you’re going stir crazy in here, but until you pull your head out of whatever fantasy you’ve made for yourself and find a better way to deal with that, it’s not going to happen.”

“– But,” Obito starts, offended both by her proclamation that he’s doing the mental equivalent of chasing butterflies and that he can actually see where she’s coming from. He takes a second to think, focuses on a different angle. “But who else would go?”

She smiles and puts her hands on Obito’s shoulders, heavy and sure. “If it comes down to it, Kakashi has your eye again.”

Obito _pouts_.

Rolling her eyes, Rin continues. “ _But,_ nothing’s set in stone, Obito. If we can manage to pull you back down to earth, if we manage to find enough ink, it can all change.” She ruffles his hair, “The fact that you’re asking that instead of getting mad is great. Kakashi and I both kind of stepped in it on this one, but I promise you that we’ll actually help you with this.”

Obito looks down at his feet, and Rin would be worrying if she couldn’t feel the way Obito leans into her, shoulders relaxing just enough to be noticeable. Rin tugs him forward into a hug, leaning her head on top of his as he sinks into her hold.

“I bet Bakashi will pass out like a wimp if he gets to go,” Obito grumbles into Rin’s shoulder.

She snorts.

 

* * *

 

Rin’s sprawled loosely on a mossy patch of ground, arguing with Obito over the apparent necessity of finding and bringing back fertilizer for some of his more overzealous botanical experiments. When she was dead she never really had any reason to think about the aesthetics of Obito’s weird pocket dimension, but after spending the past week in the skyless void and living through what she would call a gentle remodeling of the place… she still doesn’t really care. Obito’s reactions are entertaining, at least.

She pretty sure now, after forcing Obito to sit down and actually talk with her about what’s been going on in his corner of kamui and what his plans are, that things weren’t as bad as she first assumed. Certainly, having someone to talk to was helping his psyche, and Rin knows that Obito would never turn down her thoughts on his plans. Not after the _very emphatic_ dressing down she gave him for the last time he put together a plan without her input. Their discussion of his potential plans had gone unexpectedly well, giving Obito something to focus on and Rin herself a better sense of settlement – she can already tell that this was nothing but good for her nerves and her confidence in their collective future.

Obito’s right, though – focusing too hard on planning what they’re going to do is useless when all they have to go on are outdated memories and hearsay. They need someone to actually get their ear to the ground and dig up something that they can use.

For now, they need to decide what kind of tone they want to take with this second chance they didn’t ask for.

Personally, Rin would rather like to finish her medical training and then tell everyone to take a long leap off of a short branch. She’s dealt with more than enough shinobi bullshit to last her more than a lifetime, and she wasn’t even alive for most of it. She has no desire to heap any more onto herself. Kakashi, as tired as he normally is, would probably be happiest if he could get the chance to simply settle down with one of his books and watch the world move around him. Despite that, he wouldn’t hesitate to throw himself back into the shadows of ANBU if he felt it was needed. Obito, indignant as always, is _still_ raring for a fight in order to put an end to senseless loss – any sort of official ninja work would chafe against his sense of self, Rin knows. At this point, she’s not actually sure what won’t just end up irritating him.

The question is, do they abscond from the hubbub and focus on living as though they were in the Pure World once more, leaving the rest of the Elemental Nations to their own fates? Or do they put in the effort to rewrite their future, to reshape what they knew into something new?

Rin looks over at Obito, sweating away at his (strictly Rin Approved) physical therapy, and narrows her eyes. While the Uchiha is definitely petty enough that he’d be perfectly willing to let the entire shinobi world fall apart, he also had a mile wide righteous streak in him, which will make sitting back and pretending to be dead again difficult, to say the least.

Still, given the way that he’s all but ready to collapse from a routine that pre-genin could easily complete, along with the still technically foreign nature chakra and (highly probable, untreated for _months_ ) brain damage, she thinks that all they need right now is the general direction they’re going to go with. Everything after that can come later.

Kakashi, for all that he’s not the best at going with the flow, will probably just be glad that he doesn’t have to make the big decisions any more. Sure, he definitely would be opposed to just letting a bunch of people he personally knows and has kept safe his entire life be pointlessly endangered – he just also wouldn’t force Obito and her to protect them as well.

There’s also that whole crazy moon goddess thing and Rin’s new bijuu roommate to consider.

… no matter what plan they end up going with, they’re going to wind up doing something loud, exhausting, and devastating. It’s an inevitability with an Uchiha on the team.

Rin wrinkles her nose, massages her stiff legs. Sitting around isn’t doing her any good, so she may as well help Obito work off some more of his restless energy.

They’ll figure it out. Eventually.

“Come on, you walking health hazard – let’s get your hand-to-hand back up to par!”

 

* * *

 

Turns out, there are a surprising number of cloaks squirreled away in the vast depths of kamui.

In Kakashi’s expert opinion, someone who’s whole thing is _intangibility_ shouldn’t need anywhere near this many replacement cloaks, no matter _what_ line of work they’re in. Of course, since Obito’s never cared much for listening to Kakashi specifically or to logic in general, he ends up checking far too many sealing scrolls from far too many cloak pockets.

By the time he manages to find Obito’s elusive emergency sealing ink and reseal what is basically the stock of an entire shinobi general weapons store, Kakashi is grumbling death threats under his breath and nursing what he’s pretty sure is a wicked stress headache. He can tell at a glance that there’s not enough ink, and groans. There are several reasons why he had been desperately hoping this wouldn’t happen.

First, they now need to send someone out of kamui. Obito would be the smartest choice, since he has practice concealing who he was from literally everyone and wouldn’t be rendered basically useless after using Kamui even once. On the other hand, Obito also can’t exactly be trusted to not run his big mouth and completely screw up any chance at a relatively peaceful future for everyone. And, he can’t actually stand for more than twenty minutes as of half an hour ago. _Kakashi_ doesn’t really want to go – Obito’s likely to get caught up in a major snit if he does, and while it’s nowhere near as bad as what he would have done before Rin made them sit down and actually talk to each other the second all three of them were dead, it’s still nothing he wants to deal with. If Rin wants _him_ to go, he’s going to politely ask her to reconsider.

Second, waiting for Obito to recover so he could get the ink would leave him with absolutely nothing to do, other than some physical training. Obito would be ungodly annoying the entire time, half lording his “victory” of who got to leave over Kakashi and half crying at the injustice of being reduced to the physical status of someone who’d literally had half their body crushed in a cave in less than a year ago. Rin, in turn, would either be amused enough at both of their suffering to egg them on, or annoyed enough that she would take control of everything just so that she won’t have to listen to them bicker. She likes her strict timetables too much for that to be a possible outcome Kakashi could be subjecting himself to.

The extra time meant that he actually had to _process_ things, and Kakashi is honestly having a hard enough time keeping his head above the water while simultaneously making it look like he’s as relaxed as any good shinobi can be. Time travel is absolutely ridiculous, Obito’s strange nightmare excuse is even worse, and if Kakashi has to do everything all over again he’s going to scream. He’s not in denial about them somehow being in the past, he’s in denial about what that actually _means_ for them.

Seeing Rin in _that_ situation again, how close she was to being separated from them, had been unbearable. The harsh reality of the twin cursed seals, meant to warp and eventually kill their hosts. The implied revival of some of their worst enemies. Consequence after consequence, the list of shit they’re going to have to slog through to come out on top keeps piling up. Apparently, peace isn’t on the table unless they literally bleed for it. He hasn’t been dealing well with everything, but he has been dealing. Quietly.

Making his way back to the sound of breathless screeches and laughter, Kakashi grimaces with cool resolve.

He is willing to do almost anything for his pack, but if someone tries to shove that damn hat at him again he is going to set it on fire.

 

* * *

 

 Kakashi comes back to the sight of Rin lying face down on a bed of moss and Obito perched smugly on her back. He blinks.

Obito pauses his exuberant self-congratulation to wave fervently at Kakashi, demonstrating that he can do that much, at least, without his arm falling off. Progress.

“You didn’t beat Rin, so I don’t know what you’re so excited about,” Kakashi preempts Obito’s boasting.

“We’re taking a break,” Rin says languidly over Obito’s spluttering. “Fighting isn’t allowed on the moss, but we can do pretty much anything else on it.”

“Anything that won’t damage it!” Obito recovers with. “Naps and puppy piles are okay, but any form of roughhousing is strictly banned. It’s delicate, and I won’t have either of you ruining it with your carelessness.”

“Technically, if anything does happen to the moss it’s your fault. We may be the instruments that cause its destruction, but you, my friend, are its creator,” Rin says, taking on an air of superiority. Her face is still buried in the ground, though, so it comes out a bit muffled.

“That doesn’t make any sense and you know it,” Obito hisses, but refrains from dramatically flopping onto the ground.

Probably because he wouldn’t be able to get back up if he did.

“You found the ink?” Rin ignores Obito with envious ease, turning her head towards Kakashi.

“After going through this idiot’s entire villainous closet, yes,” Kakashi sighs, gesturing towards a now vibrating Obito with the scroll in his hand.

Rin groans and rolls over, dislodging Obito and sending him to the ground despite all of his hard work at not being an overdramatic moron earlier. “You’re too damn heavy to be bouncing, Obito. I’m gonna break.”

Obito kicks a leg at her, gently. “It would take more than that to break you and you know it. You just want to make me get up.”

“But Obito,” Rin simpers hair-raisingly, “I’m _delicate_.”

Kakashi frowns, confused. “But you’re not?”

“In what way are you – no, it doesn’t matter,” Obito says, resting his feet on Rin’s side and craning his head back to squint at Kakashi. “Is there enough?”

Kakashi raises his visible eyebrow as Rin sighs.

Obito winces at their reactions to his over-eager tone, but doesn’t back down. “I mean, it’s better to clear the air on this right now instead of letting it build into a big issue later. Might as well just rip off the bandage.”

Kakashi and Rin glance at each other, shrug, and share a moment of ‘well, he could be worse.’

“There isn’t.”

Rin buries her head into the moss again as Obito crows in delight. Kakashi watches, having resigned himself to whatever Rin chooses for them back when he first found the scroll, and moseys over to a pillar so he can sit. He may as well enjoy the show before he wastes the precious amount of actual work he can occupy himself with so he doesn’t have to think about terrible things. Like the future.

Rin visibly steels herself before she stands up, face set as she rolls a giggling Obito off of the carpet of moss. “Alright, get up. Once you can actually walk a mile you can fight Kakashi for who’s going out.”

Kakashi blanches, despite knowing that this was going to happen. “Ah, how about we make it a toss-up between _you_ and Obito, Rin?” He’s grasping at straws, but at this point Obito looks like he’s ready to do just about anything to win. It’s actually frightening, even taking his severely decreased mobility into account.

“I can’t use Kamui and my chakra signature screams jinchuuriki, Kakashi. Try again,” Rin shoots back as she watches Obito maneuver himself into a crouch. “Come on, I may not care about when we send our ink envoy out, but you certainly do. You can’t get better from all the way down there, Obito.”

Obito huffs and staggers to his feet, highly annoyed. “You’re not my jounin sensei.”

Rin narrows her eyes dangerously at Obito. “Oh wait,” she continues, “I actually _do_ care. We’re almost out of medical supplies, which is unacceptable and will be fixed at any expense. Isn’t that right, boys?” She takes a threatening step forward, cracking her knuckles. Both Obito and Kakashi pale.

Obito yelps as Rin rushes forward with a barrage of punches, forcing him to duck and fumble his feet into the closest approximation of footwork he can manage. “Wait – wait a second! If you beat me up now, you’re going to have even less bandages to work with! Rin, think this through!”

Rin draws back, tilts her head, and smiles. It’s not a nice smile. “Well then, I guess you just have to get better before we run out completely. I believe in you! You can do it!” she chirps.

Obito all but falls on his face trying to avoid the vicious ax kick she punctuates her threat with. “That doesn’t make any sense! Rin, be rational!”

Rin grabs his arm and flings him several feet further than she should be able, at Kakashi’s last estimate. “I’ll be rational when I have a full med-pack and three extra as backup,” she snarls, her hair starting to float. Just like Kushina’s.

Obito squeaks and throws himself back into dodging.

 

* * *

 

By the time Rin finishes Obito’s post spar checkup, he’s out like a light, bundled up once more in one of his Akatsuki cloaks. Rin rolls her eyes as Kakashi slides up next to her, cautious.

“’Sunlight and nature chakra are all I need! I don’t need to sleep!’” she parrots under her breath, carefully lifting Obito back onto his beloved moss patch.

“Do you need me to make another cloth-cleansing seal?” Kakashi asks softly, frowning at Obito’s bandages, which were the largest casualty of Rin’s medical supplies.

“No,” Rin shakes her head. “The one you made still works just fine.”

“Then why get him all worked up over it?” Kakashi asks.

“Gives him a threat to focus on,” Rin shrugs. “I know that I’m not going to be able to do what Madara did, I’m nowhere near enough of a bastard for that, but he still needs a _reason_ to achieve the same growth he did last time.” Kakashi grimaces, and Rin continues, “Plus, I’d rather we not use the cleansing seal in here any more than we have to.”

Kakashi blinks at her in confusion, and Rin waves over at their designated waste containment scrolls. “It releases everything that’s on the fabric as a fine aerosol,” she prompts.

“Which will just pollute kamui until we breathe it all in or it becomes dust,” Kakashi finishes. “We can’t just dump the waste into a scroll, so new bandages really are a requirement if we plan on spending any length time in here.”

Nodding, Rin rolls her shoulders and kicks her feet into Kakashi’s lap. “Actually, now that you mention it, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Rin laughs as Kakashi sticks his tongue out. “Does it have to do with who’s leaving kamui? Because I have a twelve point speech I can give you about that that you’re absolutely not allowed to share with Obito.”

Rin smirks at him. “You can give me your speech if it’ll make you feel better, but it’s not going to change what I’m going to say.”

Kakashi smiles, sweats. “Ah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have some bullshit pseudoscience behind a non-canon seal! Also, I've decided that the reason Obito has paper immedieately on hand but not ink is because he didn't really do a lot of seal work (hence the lack of ink) but frequently stole paper from Konan (just to piss her off) back when he was alive the first time. Just in case anyone was wondering.
> 
> I know it's somewhat slow going right now, but I promise that at least half of these idiots get out of kamui in the next chapter! Why would I say half of three people? Well, you'll just have to find out.


	4. Common Sense is for Idiots (And People Who Haven't Already Died)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two of our favorite trio go walkabout, and the remaining one pulls an absolutely batshit stunt she wouldn't have been able to do if the boys were still there. Kamui is left, supplies are purchased, friendships are forged. The future tense of chakra exhaustion is "Kakashi, no."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a non-graphic description of a random ninja getting killed in this one.

**Trust Exercises for Fun and Profit**

 

 

After a full week of living in kamui, they’re all at their limits on how much of each other they can take.

Kakashi’s done all of the seal work he can safely do with the ink he has, which ends up being enough to slap a counter seal on one of the puppet seals. The fight over whose seal it should be used on was epic, involved copious amounts of blackmail, crocodile tears, real tears, and was comprised mostly of Obito saying they should get Rin’s seal taken care of first while she insisted on removing Obito’s. Kakashi’s opinion was unasked for and unsaid. In the end, Rin wins the argument thanks to Kakashi poking holes in Obito’s reasoning, which then caused the black haired boy to spend the rest of the day pouting in betrayed silence.

Rin’s sparred non-stop with Obito, getting used to the augmented strength and chakra that comes with having a bijuu shoved into you. She’s been focusing on her precision and meditating every second she’s not doing something else – though, she’s also tried talking to the Three Tails in the middle of some of Obito’s training sessions too. They haven’t talked back yet, but she’s sure that the two of them will get there eventually. As they currently stand, the agreement between them holds more weight now than it did when it was first made, but Rin’s frustrated with her slow progress in making nice. She’s not taking it out on anyone, regardless of what the others may suggest, because she has a _plan_. The boys’ suffering is just a bonus for all of the dumb decisions they made without her.

Obito’s just been suffering. Sure, he’s a lot more coordinated than he was before, and he can go three consecutive rounds with Rin before he drops, but he needs _out_. It’s not even about getting more information at this point, he’s just terrified that Rin’s going to keep training him to almost death (because she would never be as sloppy as to kill her trainee, which is more than he can say for his wrinkly old gramps). Obito feels like Rin’s not going to stop until he’s strong enough to take on the Juubi all by himself. They’ve been eating nothing but the rations they’d had packed, Rin forcing Obito to eat at least one bar per day regardless of his insistences on not needing it, and none of them want to remember what they had to do to create their steady supply of drinkable water.

The only thing keeping them from each other’s throats after seven very tense days is the similar experience of their time in the Pure Land, but even taught patience can only wear so thin.

They need to do something, _anything_ , before something catastrophic happens.

Obito stares into the starless expanse above him. The starless expanse, because it is literally nothing, doesn’t do anything. He twitches, sits up. Jumps (okay, so maybe he scrambles) onto an ivy coated pillar. Screams.

“TEAM MEETING!”

Rin glances up from terrifying his poor plants, and Kakashi actually runs into the pillar Obito’s standing on. He doesn’t know what the silver haired moron was about to try, but he’s fiercely glad it didn’t work. The jerk has been messing around with Obito’s Sharingan, lately. Trying to convince Rin not to stare menacingly at his ivy while she meditates is a lost cause.

“Up here,” he says, mostly because he worked _hard_ to get onto his perch and isn’t willing to give it up just yet. “The basics! Let’s cover the basics again.”

Rin and Kakashi give him a look that Obito feels he in no way deserves, but they comply easily enough. It’s kind of sad.

“We need ink.”

“Medical supplies.”

Obito raises his eyebrows at Rin, who sighs.

“Some soil, if it doesn’t impact anything else,” she concedes.

Obito beams. Rin smacks him, gently.

“Good! Now, because we need all three of these highly important items, we need to send someone out of kamui.” Obito’s still smiling. If he has to treat his teammates like they’re green genin and he’s their ever magnanimous jounin sensei to actually get something done, then that’s damn well what he’s going to do. “We need to figure out who’s going, and what we’ll do after we get both of the control seals dealt with.”

Both Kakashi and Rin look guilty. “Ah,” Kakashi starts, only for Rin to elbow him sharply in the stomach.

Obito narrows his eye at them, but presses on regardless.  “How are we going to play this one out? In general, I mean. Not just the supply run.”

Kakashi sighs, but stays quiet. Obito knows that he’s not happy about them being in the past again and thus isn’t likely to have opinions on something he doesn’t even want to be a part of, but he figures that Kakashi’ll speak up if he _really_ objects to something he and Rin plan out.

Rin’s face goes from guilty to pinched. “I want to actually get my medical license this time, but I don’t want to deal with being a ‘stolen’ jinchuuriki in Konoha.”

Obito nods gamely. He had guessed that Rin would want to go back to Konoha, at least for a short period of time, and isn’t all too surprised by her declaration. “I personally don’t really care about Konoha and everything else, but I call dibs on Madara.”

Rin sucks her teeth, but accepts it. “I’ll settle for Zetsu.”

“Am I the only one going back to Konoha, then?” Kakashi speaks up, sounding bored.

Obito blinks at him. “Do you want me to go with you?” he asks, because Kakashi tends to get lonely.

“That would be a disaster and we all know it. No thank you, we’ll just have to see each other in secret, clandestine meetings, like proper ninja,” Kakashi deadpans, much to Obito’s relief.

“I’ll come back with you,” Rin volunteers. “I won’t stay, but working something out with the Sandaime so that I can leave and not have to worry about having Konoha ANBU stalking me sounds doable. Besides, this way you won’t have to deal with that tasteless nickname, Kakashi.”

“Thanks.” Kakashi’s voice is tight, but Obito knows he’ll appreciate not being known as ‘Friend Killer Kakashi’ once he gets over being reminded of the moniker in the first place. He’s at least got better control over his face when he turns to Obito. “What about you?”

Obito stares blankly at Kakashi. “What do you mean? I’m going to go after Madara.”

Kakashi’s well enough to pull a particularly bitchy face, apparently. “Uchiha Madara is a crumbling husk of ill intent and mothballs right now. I know that you’re not quite up to fighting five different armies at once anymore, but even you shouldn’t have too much of a problem killing someone who’s already a walking corpse.” He glares at Obito when the scarred teen opens his mouth to argue. “You know what I mean.”

“You don’t have to snap at me,” Obito pouts.

“How about your little red gang?” Rin pipes up. “You seemed to enjoy yourself when you hung out with them.”

“Red – the Akatsuki?” Obito asks, blindsided. “But I don’t even like them?”

Rin and Kakashi share a knowing look.

“You certainly liked annoying them,” Rin supplied.

“It’ll give you something to do, at least,” Kakashi hedges. A bored Obito is a dangerous Obito. “You could find a way to lead them to peace without killing all of the jinchuuriki and putting the world under a genjutsu.”

“I guess.” Obito’s still not really sold on the concept, but it doesn’t sound horrible when they put it like that. “So, I’m staying dead and killing Madara. Kakashi’s going back to Konoha because he’s a creature of habit, and Rin’s going too. When are you planning on skipping town to kill some weeds?”

“As soon as possible, to avoid the bullshit,” Rin replies immediately. “I’ll probably have to stick around for a bit so either the council can keep an eye on me or so that Kushina can make sure I’m not the ticking time bomb Kiri wanted me to be, but after that I’m leaving as soon as I can.”

Kakashi makes a noise in the back of his throat. “Could you leave with Tsunade-sama when she goes? You’ll get out, be able to bully her into teaching you along with her Shizune kid, and it’ll be hard for the council to say that one of the Sannin isn’t a good enough guard for a jinchuuriki.”

At the same time, Obito declares, “We should kill Danzo.”

Rin lights up. “Yes! That’s a great idea!”

Obito flushes, glad that he’s finally getting the praise he deserves. “Of course. Kakashi should be the one to get the honors, since we’re taking Madara and Zetsu.” He’s nothing if not generous – a little bit of high treason and assassination should be just what Kakashi needs. There’s _no way_ he won’t feel better afterwards.

“Huh? Oh yeah, that’s fine too, I guess,” Rin says, waving a hand at Obito. “Making the legendary Tsunade-sama teach me! I’m going to learn _so much_!”

Kakashi pats a rigid Obito on the back. His shattered expression is hilarious, when it’s not attached to a kunai to the ribs.

Obito wordlessly turns to Kakashi and buries his face into Kakashi’s dirty hair. The only reason he’s not crying is because he’s afraid of what terrible disease he might get through hair-face contact. If Kakashi wasn’t such a goddamn shrimp, he could have safely cried into a moderately clean shirt, but Obito makes do.

Kakashi, for once, takes pity on him.

“So, about the supplies run…” he prompts, trying to boost Obito’s spirits.

“Aah, yes.” Rin snaps back to attention. “Make sure that you don’t talk to anyone you don’t have to, don’t reveal your identity, don’t kill anyone, blah blah blah. It’s not that hard to not fuck up.”

Obito sniffles, even more broken. “Kakashi’s going?”

Rin double takes at the pathetic figure Obito’s become. “Yes?”

Obito mourns the last of his pride and hugs Kakashi for comfort. Kakashi awkwardly pats him again.

Rin stares. “You’re going too, Obito.”

Obito immediately shoves Kakashi away and whirls around. “Hell yes!” He pauses. “Wait, what?”

“Both of us are going, Obito,” Kakashi garbles, face-down on the pillar.

Rin smiles, radiant. Obito gapes.

“That was an option?”

 

* * *

 

Kakashi lands neatly onto real ground, the sound of wind and rustling leaves foreign after so long in kamui. Thankfully, he’s in no danger of passing out due to chakra exhaustion, since Rin made Obito Kamui him out. He would make a pretty shit gopher if he couldn’t move, after all, and it’s not like it puts strain on Obito.

Obito’s aim proves to be utter garbage, since Kakashi’s in the middle of a Fire country forest when he’s supposed to be somewhere in Lightning Country. Kakashi bites back a curse, turns to the east, and prepares himself for a long walk. Not so long as to reach Lightning, he’s not an unadaptable moron, but with his luck the nearest establishment will be hours away.

Kakashi tightens the plain brown cloak Obito had given him, makes sure that all identifying characteristics are hidden away, and heads out.

Five minutes in, he avoids a roaming Konoha border patrol, bristling with war-time alertness.

Seven minutes after that, he doesn’t avoid a lone foreign ninja. In fact, the foreign nin crashes into Kakashi, sending them both flying to the ground.

They’re both up in a flash, Kakashi scrambling for a weapons pouch that’s higher than his muscle memory remembers and the other nin taking one glance at him, widening her eyes, and tossing a full round of senbon at him.

The lack of excess fabric hindering his dodging lets him know that the cloak disguising him has been utterly useless. The enemy nin sprinting away from him lets him know that he needs to do something, _now_.

A kunai firmly in his palm, a burst of shunshin taking him to just where he needs to be, the feeling of flesh giving way to steel, and it’s done. Kakashi follows the body to the ground, and gives up. Searching the nin, Kiri, going by her hitai-ate, Kakashi lets a steady stream of curses slip from his mouth. Sakura and Shikamaru had both been surprisingly inventive and unrepeatably nasty, and Kakashi uses them as his inspiration in situations like these.

He relieves her of her weapons and the two scrolls she has on her, takes out his own body storage scroll, and seals her away. A fire jutsu to burn away the spilt blood, and Kakashi is in the clear again.

He tucks the storage scroll and the rest of the evidence away and heads back to where Obito’s awful, useless cloak had fallen. Collecting the scattered senbon (not poisoned, Rin will be disappointed) and wrapping himself up again, Kakashi casts a low-level genjutsu on himself and resumes his earlier path.

That had definitely not been inconspicuous, and his teammates are going to be insufferable about it. Kakashi can combat most of Obito’s unavoidable goading by pushing some of the blame onto him, but he’s got nothing on Rin. This is going to bite him in the ass, he knows, since she’ll happily not lord his mistakes over him, so long as he promises to do her a _favor_.

Kakashi shivers despite the warm night and tries to drown out his thoughts of impending doom with the sounds of the forest around him. It doesn’t work.

 

* * *

 

Obito is nearly giddy, bouncing through a crowd of war-weary civilians. Kakashi had slapped a permanent counterseal onto his torso before they had both left, and he already felt physically lighter for it. They hadn’t even needed to tear out his heart or anything! Just a small, calculated prick of Rin’s senbon immediately followed by a rush of power from Kakashi’s seal. With Rin’s medical attention and his own insane healing factor, it’s like he was never actually in any danger in the first place!

The results of Rin’s training regimen are even more obvious now than they ever where in the middle of a kamui-contained spar. He’s hardly even limping, his oversized travel cloak more hindering than his right leg! He’s having difficulty seeing through the oversized orange mask he’s wearing, though. Despite the suspicious looks he’s had thrown his way, the citizens of Kumogakure seem much too exhausted to do anything about him.

Whistling a native tune, Obito skips around a glaring civilian police officer and into a run-down shop. He’s careful in his rush up to the lone shopkeeper standing behind a dirty counter, keeping his speed fast enough to seem eager but slow enough to not be seen as a threat.

“Mr. Shopkeeper! How much for some soil?”

Rin would be furious to know that he’s putting of getting her medical supplies in order to get some dirt for his plants, but Obito knows what he’s doing. Sure, he’s a highly suspicious person concealing their identity and wandering around inside a protected village in the middle of a war, but he’d be even more suspicious if he had gone directly to purchase medical supplies.

Wars tend to cause shortages, and asking for something as valuable as the laundry list of supplies Rin tasked him to get was a sure fire way to have Kumo ANBU breathing down his neck. He’d be made before he even set foot in the supply station.

This way, he diverted most of the unwanted attention off of himself. After all, no self-respecting shinobi would be caught dead acting so conspicuous, and a rookie shinobi would have gone straight to their target. There’s no way a gardening store full of manure and empty of any useful plants could hold anything important, so therefore he must not be a foreign shinobi.

The ration of missing money is a sadly unavoidable occurrence in such a crowded market place, obviously. That Obito can pay the good shopkeeper in the local currency is neither here nor there. He’s not a foreign shinobi, so what else could he possibly have paid with?

Obito pauses in a shaded alley to readjust his grip on his bags of soil before continuing through to the shinobi market section. He emerges from the shadows taller, bulkier, and dressed like the three ANBU who suddenly find themselves without their orange masked mark to follow.

ANBU on currier missions for medical supplies are much less suspicious than bubbly idiots wearing oversized clothes and a distracting orange mask asking about dirt, after all.

By the time the original ANBU tasked with picking up Recon Unit 23’s medical resupply stock shows up to shed light on Obito’s little deception, he’s long since disappeared.

Now, the smart thing to do would be to immediately return to kamui and drop off his goods, but it’s just been so long since Obito’s been able to simply _roam_. If he frames it right and hits up a couple specific spots before he has to go back, Obito might even be able to spin his extra excursion as information gathering. It won’t mean anything to Rin and Kakashi, who know him far too well to be fooled by technical descriptions and shiny new information, but he’s doing it more for himself than for them. Checking up on his old and currently nonexistent informant network will be good for his peace of mind.

 

* * *

 

Rin stares over the empty world she’s trapped in, and breathes a sigh of relief.

It had been simple to get both of her boys out, and while she should probably be worried about the slim chance both Obito and Kakashi die and she’s left in here to rot, she’s not. She has full confidence that the two of them are slippery enough to wriggle their way out of any trouble they land themselves in. The Sanbi – Isobu, if she remembers correctly – is nowhere near as confident as she is. They’ve been surprisingly civil despite the circumstances that brought them together, but the potential of spending all of eternity in a small pocket dimension cut off from anything and everything, inescapable, is enough to get under even the thickest of skin. Of course, thinking about dying horribly and being trapped forever isn’t something that jinchuuriki think about often, for all that they tend to dwell on similar topics more frequently than normal shinobi, but since Rin’s thinking about it the Sanbi is too.

They haven’t said anything yet, but Rin knows that they very much want to.

That’s just fine. After all, she was the one to clear out the potentially squishable bystanders so that they could _talk_.

It is ever so difficult to come to a peaceful understanding with the large chakra beast inside of you when they didn’t want to take your calls, so to speak, and Rin has never done too well with failure.

Honestly, she’s been on edge ever since Obito’s Kamui had screwed them over. She’s not blaming him for it, since the whole thing is kind of her fault in the first place, but she hasn’t had the time or opportunity to fall apart properly. The boys would probably implode if they saw her lose her cool, and while that’s always a fun sight, they’re both in no condition to be pulling such stunts right now. Later, after she’s sure that at least one of them won’t have a heart attack, she’s going to freak out on them, and the chaos it will bring will be glorious.

Silence is a familiar companion of Rin’s, since even as a ghost sounds were muffled and hard to distinguish. Now that she’s living in a dead pocket dimension with the half heard whispers of a bijuu in her ears, it’s like she never left.

The Sanbi sounds more concerned than she meant for them to get, though, and she didn’t want that to happen – concern is good, it makes people feel talkative, but panic is Rin’s worst enemy in this situation. The empty, (hopefully) indestructible infrastructure of kamui is a source of reassurance and safety to Rin, but she knows that saying so to her passenger won’t be likely to help her case.

Rin picks a direction and heads out. While kamui wasn’t actually an infinite void - the geography does get strange in the parts Obito doesn’t visit as frequently - it’s still plenty large enough to get far enough that Rin feels comfortable. Kami knows that she would be in deep shit if her stunt kills Obito’s plants.

Once she’s happy with her distance from their temporary base, Rin sets herself down and immediately slips into meditation. As her outer awareness slips away, Rin only feels determination, and her first steps into the misty beach her mind has become are confident.

With mist stifling enough to choke a person, there’s no way she’ll be able to see anything around her. She doesn’t need to, though, because she can hear the sound of violently crashing waves and remembers the feeling of drowning in something more than just chakra.

Sprinting, because she doesn’t know when her boy’s’ll be back and because she’s impatient to actually see progress on this front, Rin scythes headfirst into the churning ocean she can’t see. The riptide carries her to where she can hear the muffled echoes of frustrated confusion, and when they stop pulling her along, Rin dives.

She’s in her own head, so she technically doesn’t need to breathe, but she holds her breath anyways just for the challenge of it. Following the growing feeling of unease, Rin swims up to an underwater cave and ducks inside. There are seals around the entrance, but she slips through them with no problems – they’re designed to be deliberately wide and breakable, after all. Inside, the sound of wet pacing and concerned muttering is loud and clear.

Rin walks over to the enormous three tailed turtle in her head and grins.

 

* * *

 

By the time Kakashi manages to find a town that has sealing ink, he’s avoided ten more patrols, two enemy ninja, and a group of bandits. He’s exhausted and dirty, but hasn’t had any more unfortunate encounters, so he’s willing to take what he can get.

When he finally reaches the only store in the last three settlements he’s searched that sells shinobi grade ink, the rest is easy. He doesn’t like taking potential resources away from Konoha while they’re in the middle of a war, but he’s willing to do far worse for his pack. The likelihood of this particular town being tapped for its basically nonexistent resources is slim enough that he doesn’t feel too bad about paying a ludicrous amount of money for the tool that’s going to keep his family safe, anyways.

Kakashi makes his way back into the nearby forest, and grimaces.

While he may have gotten a free ride out, he’s on his own getting back into kamui. He can do it, of course, but he’s not looking forward to the backlash. Obito had graciously volunteered to pick Kakashi up if he finished before him, but seeing as the idiot didn’t even drop him off in the right country, he’s not expecting any help on that front.

At least he got plenty of moving around and walking in today, though it won’t really be able to make up for the upcoming days of highly limited consciousness and movement.

Sighing, Kakashi does one last check to make sure that he has everything and that he’s alone before sending a regretfully large portion of chakra into his borrowed eye. The wait for Kamui to fully encompass him is the worst part, in Kakashi’s opinion, since he has to just stand there like an asshole until it works. He can feel the enormous drain on his chakra reserves, and wishes that he could still make it as fast as Obito’s.

Finally, Kakashi’s sucked into a void and spat out on the other side, where he gets an eyeful of floating embers and severely scorched pillars before his vision blacks out. Choking on acrid smoke, he can’t even get any words out before the rest of him follows suit.

“Ah,” he doesn’t hear a still concerned Isobu-as-Rin say.

 

* * *

 

Rin prompts the Sanbi to go over to her collapsed friend, tasting sweet vindication when the bijuu takes stumbling steps forwards and drops to their knees next to Kakashi. The two of them stare at Kakashi’s still form for a minute, then the Sanbi clears their throat.

“I, um, don’t really know what you want me to look for,” they confess.

Rin considers this from her sadly familiar position as an incorporeal manifestation of will, and decides that teaching a Bijuu how to be a medic might be fun. Sanbi-san (they still haven’t given her their name yet, so she’s not about to use something she’s got no right to have – she’s not _rude_ ) fumbles most of the initial movements but gains confidence and fluidity with practice.

Kakashi’s probably fine since it’s not like getting some sealing ink is in any way comparable to an S rank mission. The most dangerous thing he probably came across was an irate clerk, so Rin doesn’t feel bad about volunteering her friend as a tool for her experiment in trust. Or, as she would put it if she was talking out loud, a trust exercise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, while Isobu does have the ability to travel to/through dimensions (according to naruto-pedia), Rin doesn't know that. When she does find out, it's still fine, because her plan still worked (shut up Obito, it's not funny!) of course.
> 
>  
> 
> I've had a highly productive week writing wise, and I couldn't make myself wait any longer to post this! 
> 
> Things are starting to kick off, plans have been set in motion! I promise that they'll actually leave kamui, it'll just be in chapter six.
> 
> If you notice me updating this story several more times this morning, it's because I'm editing previous chapters, notes, and tags! Nothing big, just small things that I've noticed and have been bugging me. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	5. Three Humans and a Bijuu (How to Make Friends and Influence Enormous Chakra Monsters)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin pulls a Naruto, Obito freaks out, Kakashi takes his turn as disappointed, exhausted team dad, and Isobu would like to know just what they've gotten themself into. Consequences are had, even more friendships are forged, and everybody but Obito tries to look out for Sanbi-san. Rin still has that damn seal, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've gone on a serious writing kick and the story has finally started moving. I really want to catch you guys up to where I'm at, and if that means shorter waits between chapter postings then oh well.
> 
> I used Naruto-pedia for my information on and some of the mannerisms of Isobu. I also have some headcanon stuff I add in for the way the act in a human vessel. I am going to earn that Rin & Isobu tag, dammit.

 

**My Teammate, My Teammate, My Bijuu, and Me**

 

 

Rin’s gotten a solid half hour in for her practical demonstration on the proper functions of the human body before Obito comes back. Sanbi-san’s reaction time is off as they turn their head towards Obito’s noisy entrance, but they’re much better at the whole ‘human body’ thing now than they were at the start.

“Rin, I’m back!” Obito shouts, dropping to land in a crouch. “Has Bakashi come back yet? I went to look for him in – ”

Sanbi-san frowns when Obito stops dead – facial expressions came quite easily to the Bijuu, for some reason Rin can’t understand. She also hasn’t been able to persuade them to open both eyes at once, to her frustration. “Yes? Where did you look for him?”

Rin almost coos at the earnest interest in the Sanbi’s tone and the horrified face Obito makes in response.

Obito, on the other hand, takes in the singed state of kamui, the un-Rin-like behavior, Kakashi’s unmoving body, and comes to the wrong conclusion.

“Rin? Rin!”

Rin curses as Obito’s Sharingan starts to spin, a kunai slipping into his hand. Quickly, she does the mental equivalent of a kawarimi with Sanbi-san, apologizing as she goes. As soon as she can, she’s up and dodging behind Obito’s glowering mug, smacking him across the back of his head reproachfully. She is going to be unbelievably mad if he has just managed to undo all of her hard work because of this little _misunderstanding_.

“Yes, Obito?” She looms threateningly into Obito’s personal space, and is darkly amused as he scrambles to turn around and face her properly.

“Rin? You – what?” With the wind so thoroughly taken out of his sails, Obito’s visibly floundering. His head swings from Rin to Kakashi, to the slightly singed pillars, and back to Rin. He sits down, hard.

Rin stretches her arms, mentally checking on a startled Sanbi-san. Sitting across from Obito, she pushes her hand over his mouth to keep him from speaking until Sanbi-san gives her a confused ‘all clear’, if in slightly different terms. That done, Rin takes her hand back and falls backwards so she’s laying down. “It’s rude to try and stab someone who’s just trying to make polite conversation, you know.”

Obito’s silent, but Rin’s pretty sure that he’s nodding and just forgot she’s not looking at him. “I’m – sorry?”

The disbelief in his tone is already starting to get annoying. Rin huffs and crosses her arms. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

“Who should I apologize to.” He’s clearly just going through the motions, now, and his voice is muffled like he’s put his head in his hands.

Rin kicks at him, missing because she can’t be bothered to look at Obito and properly aim. “Who do you think, Obito? Did you just try to stab _Kakashi?_ ”

Feeling personally offended by her sarcasm, Obito actually manages to hit her when he snaps and snarls wordlessly. Rin blames his better vantage point, but still doesn’t move since she’s comfortable.

“Sanbi-san, Obito, you should apologize to Sanbi-san,” Rin sighs dramatically. “You were very rude to them, after all.” She doesn’t usually tease Obito this heavily on over a topic that’s potentially touchy for him, but the easy ribbing is doing wonders for Sanbi-san’s calm. Rin figures that Obito will forgive her for some overzealous teasing if it leads to a highly desirable outcome.

“WHAT?”

Obito’s explosion is loud enough that even Kakashi, in his chakra depleted coma, twitches. _That_ certainly didn’t help Sanbi-san feel better.

“Rin, what the _hell did you do?_ ” Obito grabs Rin’s leg, which is the closest part of her he can reach, and shakes it.

Rin tolerates this for all of two seconds before she uses said leg to kick Obito in the face (without any real malice, because she’s technically a softie). “What I did, was have a civilized conversation.” Really, she doesn’t know why that’s so hard to believe.

“You’ve been having civilized conversations with the Sanbi for the past week and a half, Rin! None of them ever involved large explosions or _body-swapping!_ ” Obito doesn’t release his grip on her leg, clutching at it awkwardly so Rin’s sprawled in a slightly less comfortable position and can’t kick him in the face again. He sounds so _offended_ , there’s no way it’s not stress.

“Okay, first of all it was a series of small explosions,” Rin starts off, ignoring Obito’s gasped ‘That’s worse!’ with ease. “Secondly, _of course_ those talks never had anything interesting happen during them! You and Kakashi would have seriously overreacted and done something stupid like slap a seal on Sanbi-san the second anything fun started up!”

“Anything _fun_? Rin, you still have Kiri’s shitty control seal on you!” Obito releases her leg and scoots himself over so he can shake her shoulders. “Why would you mess with the bijuu in your head while you have a _seal_ on your _heart_?!”

Rin scrunches up her nose disdainfully. “I was being perfectly safe, thank you very much. There was no way anyone would have thought that I would befriend Sanbi-san, so there’s no way they put any precautions against it happening in their seal.” There. She’s been perfectly logical about this whole thing. Obito and Sanbi-san’s mounting horror notwithstanding, she’s very pleased about her results so far, and it would be nice if the others would finally come around to appreciating her hard work too.

Obito’s actually speechless now, which Rin would be proud about if Sanbi-san wasn’t also similarly dumbstruck.

Sitting up suddenly as she’s struck with another great idea, Rin looks critically at Obito. More specifically, at his eye. “Turn that off,” she demands, waving her hand at Obito’s active Mangekyo Sharingan.

Obito flinches back, defensive. “Why?”

Rin rolls her eyes. “So I can introduce the two of you, of course. People usually don’t like staring at one of the few things that are dangerous to them when they’re meeting someone new,” she clarifies, mostly for Sanbi-san’s sake. Getting them to understand that Obito is willing to be civil and courteous is the first step in getting Team Seven to accept their newest member. There’s no way Obito _wouldn’t_ be, after all.

Obito hesitates, but obediently deactivates his Sharingan, looking over to Rin with a strange hint of timid uncertainty in his now black eye. Rin gives him an encouraging smile.

“Obito, this is Sanbi-san! They’re quite nice, very soft spoken, and don’t want to be used as a weapon anymore.” Rin pauses, waiting for Sanbi-san’s hesitant approval before letting herself ease back into an incorporeal existence once more. Obito looks nervous, but he’s sitting quietly, which is good.

_“Sanbi-san, this is Uchiha Obito. He’s very loyal, often jumps to conclusions, and wants to put an end to meaningless suffering. We’ve been friends basically ever since we knew each other.”_

Sanbi-san’s borrowed face goes through a series of micro expressions too foreign for Rin to interpret, but they settle on a wary smile.

“Hello, Uchiha-san,” they say, unfailingly polite. Obito flinches, and Sanbi-san immediately frowns in concern.

Obito smooths his reaction over quickly, shooting them a strained grin. “Ah, just Obito is fine, Sanbi-san. I’ve never been all that attached to my family name,” he’s lying, but Rin lets it go for now.

She sends a brief, “ _It’s a long story, but he’d really prefer it if you just call him Obito,”_ in response to Sanbi-san’s worried mental inquiry.

They smile again, slightly brighter now that it’s obvious Obito’s not about to do anything violent the second they say something wrong. “Obito-san, then.”

Obito’s returning smile is dazed. “Yes. It’s nice to meet you.”

There’s an awkward pause because Obito doesn’t know how to talk to unfamiliar people he’s not trying to control and Sanbi-san hasn’t talked to anyone in likely over a century. Rin wonders if it’s possible to take a nap as a disembodied presence of will.

Sanbi-san works their jaw, then switches which eye they’re keeping shut.

Obito perks up at that. “Hey! Now we all have red eyes _and_ a habit of keeping one eye closed all the time!”

Rin would twitch at the leaps in logic Obito had just made if she had a body, but as it is she’s pleased with Obito’s easily stated acceptance of Sanbi-san.

The three-tailed bijuu, on the other hand, doesn’t know how to respond, so there’s another lengthy pause before they think of something. When they do, Sanbi-san perks up and curls their limbs inwards to form a ball before they speak.

“Obito-san, where did you look for your friend?”

Obito frowns, puzzled. “I’m sorry, what?”

Sanbi-san ducks their head down, curious. “Earlier, when you first came here you said that you were looking for your friend, you never actually said where you looked for him.”

“Ah, I was looking for Kakashi,” Obito starts, nonplussed. He gestures over to the silver haired boy, like Rin wasn’t a good enough host to introduce their unconscious friend herself. “He was supposed to be in Lightning Country, so I went there first to pick him up. He’s kinda weak, so he passes out whenever he uses my Kamui.”

“I wouldn’t have had to use it if you had actually dropped me in Lightning Country, dumbass.”

Obito jerks towards the muffled rebuke, followed a second later by Sanbi-san’s full body turn. Rin’s pleasantly surprised that Kakashi managed to regain consciousness so soon, but is a bit more leery of what his reaction to Sanbi-san will be.

“Bakashi! What the hell do you mean – are you saying I _didn’t_ drop your useless ass in Lightning?”

“Oh look, you’re actually using your brain for once,” Kakashi states, turning his head to stare flatly at Obito and the Sanbi. “Hatake Kakashi, one of Rin’s friends. Nice to meet you, Sanbi-san.” He nods.

The Sanbi seems taken aback, but Rin can tell that they’re a little relieved by Kakashi’s lack of shouting. “It is nice to meet you too, Hatake-san.”

Kakashi hums. “I guess. Would you mind passing on a message to Rin?”

Sanbi-san twitches. “I wouldn’t mind, but she can hear everything that I can. Going through such lengths to deliver a message would be unnecessary.”

Kakashi blinks absently. “Right, thank you. This is to Rin, then.”

Rin’s suddenly not at all grateful that Kakashi decided to wake up.

“What the hell made you think that was a good idea?”

Rin would be flinching, if she had a body. Sanbi-san, even though the remark wasn’t aimed at them, does flinch. Kakashi takes no notice.

“While I am grateful that you’ve managed to come to a peaceful and no-doubt mutually beneficial agreement with Sanbi-san, why the hell did you do it without anyone else there to help you? While you had a control seal on your heart _?_ ”

Sanbi-san takes this as their que to switch places with Rin, retreating once more into the brand-new ocean in her mind.

Rin immediately draws herself up, defensive. The questions she can handle, but Kakashi’s even tone just gets to her. “Like I told Obito –”

“Rin,” Kakashi intervenes softly, “you pulled a Naruto.”

 

* * *

 

So far Obito hasn’t minded being forgotten about, because he’s still trying to process what the fuck Rin just did. He’s more than willing to let Kakashi take the reins on this one, with the younger boy wielding his ‘I’m not mad I’m just disappointed’ tone with masterful efficiency.

It takes an hour for Kakashi to finish reprimanding Rin, leaving kamui in a tense and somewhat huffy silence.

Still dazed, Obito reaches into his pocket and pulls out his supply scroll. Standing on unsteady legs, he walks over to sit between his teammates and places it on the ground. Since Kakashi’s still laying on the ground, most likely because he can’t actually move, Obito takes off his cloak and sets it on top of him so he wouldn’t get cold.

Rin, still pouting, spares the scroll a glance. “That had better have everything I asked for.”

Wordlessly, Obito reaches forward and unseals the scroll in a fluid motion he’s quite proud of.

Kakashi tries to move his head so he can look at what Obito just dumped onto the ground, but doesn’t manage it. Instead, he just sniffs loudly. “Why do I smell dirt?”

“He’s been trying to grow plants,” Rin mutters, most likely to the Sanbi since Kakashi’s question had been rhetorical.

Something small and indignant sparks in Obito, just enough to snap him out of his Rin-induced-stupor. “It was an integral part of my cover,” Obito retorts waspishly. “There was no way my mission would have gone anywhere near as smoothly if I hadn’t purchased it.”

Kakashi’s too tired to snort at Obito’s self-serving logic, but Rin isn’t.

Moving so that she can inspect the rewards of Obito’s hard work, Rin settles from her huff into a more focused silence. After she sorts through everything and nods once, satisfied, she grabs two scrolls that were on the ground next to Kakashi. At Obito’s questioning glance, she clarifies, “I took them off of him while I was teaching Sanbi-san the basics of first-aid.”

Placing one in her lap, Rin grabs Kakashi’s hand so she can unseal the scroll she’s still holding.

“Ah, wait!” Kakashi starts, trying to jerk his arm away, but Rin’s already done.

With a puff of smoke, Rin and Obito stare down at the dead body Kakashi had brought them. After a brief spike of acidic blue chakra, Rin stiffly re-seals the corpse.

There’s a slightly wet spot on the ground, and Obito turns to Kakashi helplessly. Rin follows suit, and Kakashi’s shoulders hunch under their combined assault.

“There was an incident, okay?” he snaps.

“An incident? Kakashi, you killed someone! You weren’t supposed to kill someone!” Rin gapes. She probably expected Obito to pull something like this, not Kakashi.

“She attacked me first!” Kakashi petulantly replies. “Anyways, it never would have happened if Obito had just dropped me off in Lightning Country like he was supposed to.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to kill someone!” Rin repeats, frazzled.

“She saw my face, of course I had to kill her,” Kakashi sniffs, disgruntled. “I didn’t have the time or supplies to properly dispose of the body! Besides, it never would have happened if you hadn’t dropped me in the middle of Konoha, Obito.”

Rin twitches violently at that. “You were where?!”

“Half a day’s run from the village,” Kakashi confirms, sounding relieved to not be the sole focus of both Rin and Obito’s ire. “I had to avoid eleven patrols, and the other two enemy nin never knew I was there.”

“Little too late for that,” Obito whistles, brightening at Kakashi’s screw up. It may be a bit simplistic of him, but every time Kakashi proves to be just as human as the rest of them, it always brightens Obito’s day.

Kakashi groans.

Rin’s still staring down at the scroll in her hand, holding it like it’s a defective exploding tag. “We need to get rid of this.”

“Why?” Obito asks.

Rin turns to him, incredulous. “Why? So you don’t just have a dead body floating around kamui, Obito!”

Obito, finally relaxed enough to stretch his aching muscles, still doesn’t get it. “Why don’t you use it instead?”

Rin shifts the scroll so that it’s farther away from Obito, slightly concerned.

Kakashi perks up, interested. “Use it how?”

“You two have been missing for about a week and a half by now, right? From Konoha?”

Rin cautiously relaxes her grip on the body-storage scroll. “Yeah, A week and three days.”

“Well,” Obito stresses, “you need a reason to explain why you just disappeared off the face of the earth without getting you sent down to T&I. Why not just use her?”

Rin shakes her head. “They’re not going to believe that a single Kiri-nin was able to keep us captive for that long, not without any signs of torture or threats sent back to Konoha.”

“But a group of Kiri-nin might have been able to do it,” Kakashi rebuffs, getting where Obito’s coming from. “And if they had the idea of turning you into a delayed jinchuuriki bomb, surely that must have taken time to set up.”

“Kakashi was an extra incentive to keep you docile,” Obito continues, abandoning his stretches to lean into his story. “There wouldn’t have been any threats or demands sent back to Konoha because that would ruin their fratricide plan!”

“And even if we managed to escape from them, I still needed time to counter the faulty seal they used on you,” Kakashi finishes, sounding excited despite his exhaustion.

Rin works this over in her head, tapping the scroll thoughtfully against the ground. “Where would you have gotten the replacement jinchuuriki seal from?”

“Oh, I’ll just say that I saw it when I went poking around Sensei and Kushina’s house to look for more techniques I hadn’t learned yet.” Kakashi said, flippant.

Obito made a face, incredulous. “There’s no way anyone will believe that.”

Kakashi would probably have shrugged if he could have moved. “If _you’d_ said that, then sure, idiot. _I_ happen to be a child genius; Konoha never knew what to do with me back when I broke all of their records the first time, and after a while they just started taking everything I did in stride. They’ll definitely accept me knowing and adapting a jinchuuriki seal as ‘just one of those crazy Hatake brat things’.”

Obito makes an unflattering sound as Rin hums quietly to herself.

“No, he actually is a genius. We just also travelled back in time,” she explains randomly as the Sanbi’s blue chakra bubbles around her.

Obito squints at her, then rolls over to crouch next to Kakashi.

“Hey, when are you going to be able to move again?”

Kakashi looks Obito dead in the eye for an uncomfortable length of time. Obito fidgets, and Kakashi eventually relents. “If I’m lucky, just a couple of hours until I can properly move my hand and arm. That’s all I need to make Rin’s counter seal, but after I finish writing it out you’re going to have to transfer it and do the actual ritual.”

Obito pauses. “How much chakra control will it take?” It’s not like he has terrible control or anything – his body’s chakra pathways just aren’t used to the flow of nature chakra yet.

Kakashi blinks at him reassuringly. “Not too much. You just need to put enough in to start the process and everything else will fall into place.”

Obito nods, relieved. He turns and waves at Rin, who is giggling away, presumably at the Sanbi’s reaction to them being time-travelers. “Rin, does the Sanbi know that we’re going to be messing with your heart?”

“Sanbi-san, Obito. Not ‘the Sanbi’,” Rin immediately responds, then pauses to have a very visible conversation with herself.

Obito winces.

“Yes, they know now,” Rin says after she’s finished.

“Great.” Then, because Rin is glaring at him, he adds, “Sanbi-san, my bad.”

It’s not an apology, but it’s close enough that Rin seems content.

“You’re going to have to work on being more subtle when you’re talking to them, you know,” Obito muses.

Rin rolls her eyes. “We’ve only been able to talk to each other like this for a couple of hours. Of _course_ we’ll get better at it. Now, do you have anything else to nag me about, or are you going to finish your stretches?”

Obito quickly backs away, holding his hands up in front of him. He makes his way over to a now sleeping Kakashi and focuses on finishing the rest of his stretches.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi wakes up hours later, feeling absolutely exhausted. He can kind of move now, which is a major improvement, and he’s sweating since he’s trapped under two heavy cloaks and an even heavier Obito. He shifts his head to the side, trying to find Rin.

While he hadn’t expected her to pull something this stupid, he really should have seen it coming. Of course she wasn’t going to be satisfied doing things the slow way, and spending most of her afterlife around reckless savants who curried the Sage’s favor must have given her a false sense of security when it came to how plans _that_ harebrained usually work out. Nothing had gone terribly wrong this time, but Kakashi’s been unlucky enough that he knows not to take anything for granted.

Giving up, he calls out. “Rin?”

There’s a shuffling sound from behind him, and Rin scoots into his line of sight – or, Sanbi-san does. They tend to curl themself into as tight of a ball as possible, Kakashi notes.

“Yes?” they ask politely.

“Sanbi-san, could you please get Obito off of me?” He asks, just a little strained.

Sanbi-san looks worried. “Would it wake him up? Rin-san said that he was supposed to get as much sleep as possible.”

Kakashi shakes his head. “No, he’s comfortable enough around us that moving him won’t be a problem. Besides, I don’t need him all the way off, just not directly on my back is fine.”

Sanbi-san hesitates, then shuffles closer to nudge at Obito. The scarred boy snuffles in his sleep, but settles into his new position curled up against Kakashi’s side without further fussing. They smile, and turn back to Kakashi.

“Thank you,” he says, feeling better now that he’s not being crushed. “Do you know where the other scroll I brought back is?”

Sanbi-san hums, tucks their chin to their chest, then extends their neck again. “Yes, it should be where Rin-san last left it. Would you like me to grab it for you?”

Kakashi smiles, grateful. “That would be very helpful. Yes, please.”

After a short pause, Sanbi-san uncurls and steps over to where Obito’s dirt smells the strongest. They have a heavier gait than Rin does, Kakashi notices, their steps actually making sound when they walk.

Kakashi takes the offered scroll and tips his head in thanks. Sanbi-san seems content to sit and watch him work, if the way they plopped themself down in front of Kakashi with an expectant look in their eye is any indication.

Shrugging mentally, Kakashi worms an arm free from its warm prison and, after checking to make sure that he’s not about to dump a dead body on the ground again, unseals the storage scroll.

Someone (probably Rin, since Obito tended to be oblivious about more menial details) had gathered up all of the work he’d done before and left it in an easily accessible pile to his right, which Kakashi is grateful for. It’s not like he couldn’t just ask Sanbi-san to grab them for him, he just doesn’t want to do anything to annoy the shockingly polite bijuu. Making them play gopher for a very much incapacitated ninja would be foolish.

Kakashi does a quick air sketch to get a gauge on how shaky his hands are, and gets to work on practicing the strokes he needs to be absolutely perfect. Once he gets used to moving his limbs while they feel like they’re full of lead again, he’ll actually break out the ink and start on Rin’s counter seal.

As he practices, the Sanbi watches on in interested silence, crunched into a ball once more. Kakashi’s not sure what to think of the bijuu – sure, he knows that they’re all people in their own right, but from the way Naruto had always talked about Kurama he had thought that the Sanbi – Isobu – would be a lot more confrontational. He’s not disappointed, but he is a little worried about how they’ll fair when paired with Rin’s almost violent enthusiasm.

Kakashi pauses, looking up to the Sanbi. They’re watching him intently, their curiosity written all over their face.

“If she ever pushes too far, tell her,” Kakashi says. “She’s a good friend, but until she knows you really well she won’t know when to stop.”

Sanbi-san blinks slowly. “Is that likely to happen?”

Kakashi shrugs and watches as the bijuu focuses on something he can’t hear. He’s still patiently looking at them when they re-open their eye.

“How will I know how far is too far?” They ask, still calm.

Considering this, Kakashi closes his eye. “If you feel uncomfortable, it’s too far. If you’re not sure how to say no, just explain why you don’t want to do what she’s asking for. She’ll listen.”

The Sanbi nods, thoughtful.

“If you want an outside opinion, Obito and I will always be willing to listen.” Kakashi gives them one last meaningful look before he turns his attention back to his seal work.

The two of them, or perhaps the four, if Kakashi is counting _everyone_ , sit in companionable silence as Kakashi works his way steadily up to putting ink onto paper. Every so often the Sanbi would reach over and move a completed piece out of his way, and Kakashi starts softly explaining what he’s doing and why. The Sanbi doesn’t ask any questions, but they listen all the same.

By the time Kakashi finishes all three scrolls worth of seals he’s going to have Obito slap onto Rin, the silence between them feels companionable more than anything. He’s not there yet, but Kakashi thinks that he could get used to having the calm bijuu around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, if you notice any errors, please let me know so I can fix them.
> 
> They finally get to go home next chapter! There's gonna be some suspicion, but they'll make it through somehow!
> 
> "Pulling a Naruto" should be a thing. Hey, at least Kakashi isn't as tired this time! He's getting better at using Kamui already!
> 
> I really love hearing all your thoughts about this story, and I can't wait until things start really moving!


	6. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito pouts, Rin and Kakashi forget in order to return, Kushina worries, and Sarutobi just wants to retire. Isobu is pleasantly surprised that these shenanigans haven't taken a turn for the worse, and a cover story is engineered and bought. Welcome back to Konoha, Team Seven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to update the tags to reflect this, but there is temporary (self-inflicted) amnesia in this chapter. Both cases are resolved within the next two chapters.
> 
> Yamanaka Inokata is an unimportant OC I created who will literally never show up again. I just needed someone to look into a mind, and there aren't a lot of canon Yamanaka floating around the narutopedia pages.
> 
> Finally, we branch out into people who aren't Team Troll.

 

**The Best Way to Overcome a Recent Parting of Ways with a Loved One (is to Literally Forget It)**

 

 

Obito wakes up warm, for once. Ever since he got trapped under those fucking rocks the first time around, he’s always been slightly chilled. He knows that Rin could give him an actual reason for that if he bothered to ask, but he doesn’t want to deal with her freaking out about his health even more. Besides, it doesn’t really change anything, and it makes waking up with his team around him extra nice.

It’s a little strange to cuddle up to the Sanbi, but Rin and Kakashi have both been making efforts towards getting the bijuu to feel comfortable around them and have unapologetically goaded Obito into following suit.

Personally, Obito thinks that their three-man squad is all they need in terms of personal connections, but he’s not about to turn away an agreeable tailed beast if they want in.

Kakashi had made him preform the ritual and apply his counter seal on Rin’s seal since the silver haired idiot is still unable to actually move more than his arms, and the whole thing went much more smoothly than he’d feared. The Sanbi hadn’t interfered other than to heal Rin’s heart, and the most exciting thing that ended up happening was the crushing hug she’d grabbed them both in afterwards.

Obito had been able to persuade his teammates to have one last puppy pile before they went their separate ways – there’s no way he’ll ever admit it, but he’s already missing them.

Sure, they’ve gone over where they’ll be headed once they leave kamui, they’ve arranged methods of communication between the three of them that they can use to set up a meeting if they need to, and they’ve even scheduled a rough time for them all to get together again and check on how things are going. It doesn’t mean that he’s not a little bit jealous of the fact that Rin and Kakashi get to stay with each other for longer than he can.

The second he made any noise about abandoning his ‘hunt down Madara and tell the shinobi world to fuck off’ plan, Kakashi had immediately shut him down, saying that he wouldn’t even make it a week in Konoha before he went missing-nin again. Rin had snorted and said that he wouldn’t even make it three days, which had hurt. Obito’s pretty sure that he could stick it out for at least a month if he really tried, but they had made their point.

He’s slightly mollified by the fact that Rin is going to strike out as soon as she can, but it’s something of a hollow victory since they still aren’t going to be doing anything _together_.

Great. He had forced the others into one last nap so he could avoid all of these awful feelings, but Obito’s pretty sure that he’s just made them worse. He buries his head into the nearest shoulder and pretends he’s not crying.

His breath hitches when two pairs of arms come up and encircle him. So much for not showing how much of a crybaby his still is.

“We can still see each other whenever we’re free,” Rin comforts, her voice slurred with sleep.

“’S not like you ever had any problems slipping into places you shouldn’t have been to see us before,” Kakashi yawns, looking dumb with his mask.

“I mean, if we _really_ need to we’ll make up some dumb reason to bring you back home, miraculously alive and very much retired,” Rin muses.

The thought is ridiculous, but Obito smiles anyway. His face is wet and it feels weird to cry with only one eye again, but it’s better than feeling like he’s about to be left alone.

“Hmm, if you get really lonely you could always hunt down the Akatsuki again,” Kakashi prods. “Rin was right, you seemed to have a lot of fun with them.”

Obito makes a face. “They were all annoying at best.”

Rin raises an eyebrow. “I know for a fact that you genuinely respected if not outright liked some of them.”

“Lies and slander,” Obito mumbles into her shoulder. “Besides, what use would they even be? I’m not planning on following Madara’s stupid plan, and their original one was even dumber.”

“I don’t know, you could just have fun with it,” Kakashi says absently.

“They’re an independent organization of criminals, how could I -” Obito pauses. Pulls back. Grins _blindingly_ at his teammates. “I could have fun with it.”

Rin nods knowingly, and Kakashi looks skeptic.

“Guys,” Obito starts, “I could have an entire organization at my finger tips to do whatever I want with.”

Kakashi scrunches his nose at him. “This is sounding dangerously close to megalomaniacal aspirations, Obito.”

Rin pats at his arm. “No, no, let him finish.”

“I can pay back the shinobi world for all of the bullshit they’ve pulled,” Obito gasps, elated.

Kakashi levels a disbelieving look at Rin, who just raises three fingers, two fingers, one finger…

“By _pranking_ them!”

Kakashi squeaks, and Rin looks unbearably proud.

After one last round of hugs and tearful parting shots at each other, Obito grabs onto his friends and the three of them Kamui into the same forest he’d accidentally dropped Kakashi in. With Kakashi’s guidance, since Obito still is the worst of them at genjutsu, he activates his Sharingan.

The world goes dark.

 

* * *

 

Rin doesn’t know where she is.

The trees around her make her think she’s in Fire Country, but the last thing she remembers is being ambushed by Kiri nin and Kakashi coming to rescue her. But – but that’s not right, because she can remember the burning need to go back to Konoha and the even stronger need to protect the Will of Fire. There had been a fight, and a strange looking man had grabbed both her and Kakashi and knocked them unconscious.

She sits up, wondering at her miraculously not mutilated arms as she remembers struggling against multiple Kiri nin in a strange place as they used some kind of seal on her, remembers being interrogated for information when Kakashi refused to break…

Kakashi! Rin frantically casts her gaze around for the only remaining member of her team. He had worked so hard to protect her, had done so much to counter whatever they’d done to her, she can’t lose him too!

There! In front of a tree to her right, Rin spots the crumpled form of Kakashi.

She sprints over, her hands immediately flying through the seals for a diagnostic jutsu. There is no way she is going to lose another piece of her team, not when she has the ability to make a difference. Only – Kakashi isn’t badly injured. His chakra levels are dangerously low, but otherwise he’s just as untouched by their week in captivity as she is.

A mid-morning breeze rustles the leaves overhead, and Rin snaps her attention outwards. She and Kakashi must have been unconscious in this clearing for who knows how long before she woke up. She has no guarantee that they’re safe – even if they truly are still in Fire Country, it would be foolish to think that they can’t be attacked.

Taking in the shifting leaves and the familiar fauna, Rin makes her decision. With his chakra as low as it is, Kakashi won’t be waking up for at least a day, _if_ they’re lucky. There is absolutely no way Rin is going to wait around like live bait for an entire day on the off chance that the young genius will awaken.

Setting her face in a determined mask, Rin hefts her younger teammate onto her shoulders, tries not to think about how easily she can lift his not insubstantial weight, and follows the feeling of _home home home_ that calls to all Konoha nin lost in the Hashirama trees.

Nine hours later, when Rin is apprehended by a Konoha patrol squad, she is not tired. After giving all of the correct identifying codes, she does not allow them to take Kakashi off of her back. Instead, she acknowledges the reason behind her terrifying strength, and asks them to call for Kushina-nee-san.

The chuunin immediately go stiff, but one of them obediently sends off a summons to carry her request to the village. Rin refuses to go any closer to her home until Kushina-nee-san has checked on the being she can feel deep within her mind. She is immediately put under harsh scrutiny from the border patrol, who’ve been trained to be ever vigilant for injured Konoha nin and imposters.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because Kakashi is still alive. Because she is never going to leave him behind again. Because Kushina-nee-san is on her way to make sure that Rin can keep her promise.

Team Seven will not lose any more members. Not today.

 

* * *

 

It has been two weeks and day since Rin and Kakashi left on a routine scouting mission. It has been a week and two days since they were supposed to arrive back home, safe and sound. A week of Minato growing more and more despondent each day his team fails to come home, of every shinobi she sees act like they’re walking on eggshells around her, waiting for her to snap.

Kushina _isn’t_ about to snap, but if one more _annoying excuse for a_ – if she has to deal with _anyone else_ trying to ‘break’ any sort of news to her, she won’t be responsible for their injuries.

She doesn’t care what the statistics about MIA ninja are. Her little Rin is too adorable to be killed so easily, and that brat Kakashi is stubborn enough that he’ll probably live the longest out of all of them. He’s no Obito, but Kushina knows that the kid would do anything to keep Minato’s team from breaking any further.

Until she is shown undisputable physical evidence, there is no doubt in her mind that those two kids are still fighting their way home with everything they have, _you’d better believe it._

Minato has been worrying her, lately, with how hard he’s thrown himself into the more dangerous tasks the Sandaime has tasked him with. She wishes that he would just say no, since he’s clearly not in the right state of mind to be fighting, but she knows that they can’t afford that luxury. Hell, Kushina herself would rather be scoring the earth and turning over every rock that her kids may have passed until she just finds them, but she’s a front line fighter. She has a different duty.

Right now, her duty is hauling ass to meet with the wrinkly Third, followed closely by a masked ANBU, and Kushina refuses to believe that she’s being called up to the Hokage’s office just to be told her husband’s team isn’t ever coming home.

She’s right, but the coded message from Rin is almost worse.

 

* * *

 

Kushina-nee-san’s arrival to the now warded improvised camp site is heralded by a comforting rush of chakra and hair that gleams like fire in the setting sun. Rin can feel her knees go weak with relief, and she lets herself sink to the ground, ever mindful of Kakashi’s slowly breathing form on her back.

When she looks up again, Kushina-nee-san is standing right in front of her, and Rin’s shoulders hitch.

“Promise me you’ll look after Kakashi,” Rin manages to get past stiff lips, the reality of what might happen to her gripping her heart painfully. Even if she does have to be – even if she has to leave Kakashi, she’s not going to let him be left behind. Not alone, not after everything.

Kushina-nee-san reaches forward and cradles Rin’s face in her hands, gently encouraging her to look her in the eyes. “With my every breath,” she confirms, pressing a kiss to Rin’s forehead.

Rin closes her eyes, feeling warm tears track down her cheeks, and thinks of Obito, of Kakashi and Minato-sensei, of the family they have given her. For them, she can and will do this.

Gently, she slips Kakashi off of her back and gathers him up in her arms, handing him solemnly to Kushina. The red haired kunoichi settles Rin’s last teammate next to her, snapping at the chuunin with something Rin doesn’t catch over the sound of rushing blood filling her ears.

The world cracks back into place as Kushina-nee-san takes Rin’s hands in her own, gripping tightly.

“Tell me everything.”

Rin does. She talks for hours, grounding herself with Kushina-nee-san’s steady grip when she recounts being taken hostage, being forced into a strange ritual, feeling nothing but blinding and bubbling pain. She grips hard enough that Kushina’s fingers start to lose color when she talks about being allowed to escape, about a compulsion screaming at her to go back to Konoha, at Kakashi’s attempted rescue and their subsequent re-capture by an unknown shinobi. The interrogations, the strange prison with no sky, the frantic way Kakashi had worked to visualize and counter whatever they’d done to her. Kushina-nee-san listens to it all, stone-faced even as Rin recounts fleeing from the strange shinobi, flashing back and forth between their trapped hell and familiar forests, being chased by Kiri nin, unhappy with their failure. Rin recalls the way Kakashi had gripped at his face, at Obito’s eye, after a close encounter with one of their pursuers, the way the world had twisted and faded to black, and stops short.

She fidgets with Kushina-nee-san’s fingers, and finally whispers, “I can’t hear it anymore. I used to be able, at the beginning. It was screaming, angry. It wanted to destroy.”

Rin leans forward to bury her head in Kushina-nee-san’s shoulder.

“After whatever Kakashi did, I can’t hear it, but I know it’s still there.”

Strong arms encircle her, a rough hand threading through her short hair.

“I promise you, I will look into this. Right now, rest. I’ll figure everything else out.”

At Kushina-nee-san’s words, Rin grips at her flak jacket and curls inwards, finally letting herself fade.

 

* * *

 

Two unconscious kids, she can work with. The jinchuuriki part will be a pain in the ass, but Kushina can deal. Hell, she’s feeling pretty goddamn peppy right now – peppy enough to even pop by and say hello to something she might even sarcastically call her in-law.

Whirling around, Kushina pins the ANBU who had followed her with a fierce glare. “You, take over the security of our perimeter.” A blur of motion greets her order, and she turns to the huddle of chuunin. “All of you, get the hell back on your route. You’re behind schedule.”

A scarred shinobi starts. “Uzumaki-san,”

“Shut up,” Kushina growls. “Pack up your gear, and go. You don’t have the clearance for this, and I sure as _shit_ don’t have the patience.”

 Her words send a visible shiver down the spines of the amassed chuunin, and they’re gone in a blink.

The makeshift camp is deconstructed within the minute, and Kushina is left with the chirping of crickets and the knowledge of ANBU protection at last.

Ideally, she’d have a full facility completely stocked with every counter-seal known to man, at least a full squad of thoroughly vetted ANBU perching in the rafters, but there’s a war going on and she wants her Rin back and safe, _now_. So, with her cute little kunoichi in her hands, her stubborn baby genius at her side, and the familiar impression of flames from her masked friend, Kushina prepares herself and gets down to business.

Moving gently, Kushina lowers Rin onto the forest floor and deftly restrains her limbs with a special set of tags she’d made for emergency use on herself. A larger seal encompassing Rin’s whole body, and she’ ready to see how long it’ll be before she can bring Rin home.

 

* * *

 

Sarutobi Hiruzen looks out from the unbelievably heavy weight of the Hokage’s hat, waiting for an even more defiant than usual Uzumaki Kushina to finish her report.

So far, it has been nothing but complication after complication. Plots by Kirigakure and unknown agents, a potential outside influence on the minor scuffles that could speak to greater consequences, and a by-the-Sage bijuu dumped into one of his kunoichi. Hiruzen almost doesn’t want to hear the rest. Still, it is his duty to hear Uzumaki out and come up with the best plan of action for the village.

As soon as it’s physically and politically acceptable, Hiruzen is going to shove this damn hat at _someone_ and finally _retire_.

“The effects of the Forbidden Individual Curse Tag placed on chuunin Nohara Rin have been fully negated, and the modified Eight Trigrams Seal is secure.”

Hiruzen steeples his hands in front of his chin, leaning forward. “That is a lot of surety on seal work you took less than two hours to complete, Uzumaki.”

Uzumaki keeps her head high. “According to both personal statements made by chuunin Nohara Rin and my own observations, jounin Hatake Kakashi is responsible for the partial removal of Nohara’s Curse Tag and for the modification of the original seal containing the bijuu. I simply finished what was left of the Tag and preformed both a surface level and in-depth inspection on the modified Trigrams Seal.”

Hiruzen inhales sharply. “Young Kakashi?”

Uzumaki remains stone-faced, but something in her posture shifts just enough that he takes notice.

Hiruzen narrows his eyes. “And where did young Kakashi learn about either seal in the first place?”

Clearly scowling now, the fiery red-head answers. “Tokubetsu jounin Yamanaka Inokata of the T&I department preformed a mind walk on Hatake and determined that he gained his knowledge of the Eight Trigrams Seal from locked scrolls hidden in jounin Uzumaki Kushina’s apartment one year ago. He gained his knowledge of the Forbidden Individual Curse Tag at age three when Jiraiya of the Sannin brought him into Orochimaru of the Sannin’s personal lab, in which he found the information he used to counter Nohara’s seal. In a locked and hidden scroll.”

Hiruzen was starting to see a trend, but a habit of breaking into various household scrolls isn’t the strangest habit he’s seen shinobi develop. It’s certainly a relief to have a clear and traceable source of the boy’s knowledge.

“And he was able to create workable counter matrices with just his base knowledge?” He presses.

“As Yamanaka clearly states in his report which was submitted at 0327 this morning, yes, Hokage-sama.”

Uzumaki gestures to a bright purple folder close to the top of Hiruzen’s pile of incoming paperwork, the visible tick in her eye putting his ever so twitchy ANBU guard further on edge.

He’s not sure if she’s annoyed that he hasn’t read the report yet or if it’s because he authorized the use of the Yamanaka’s mind walking technique without first obtaining the young Hatake’s permission first. Considering how protective she is of her husband’s team, she might be mad that he didn’t ask _her_ to sign off on the consent form.

The temperamental kunoichi takes a second to calm herself. Over a week in enemy hands, knowledge of highly guarded and highly forbidden seals, and a misplaced bijuu make this entire ordeal a direct threat to the village’s safety. Until he is absolutely sure that they are not compromised in any way, Hiruzen will do what he needs to in order to properly assess all involved parties. Uzumaki knows this, but it’s obvious she doesn’t like it. At any other time Hiruzen would smile in fond regard of her caring heart.

“In summary, the jinchuuriki Nohara Rin is stable, loyal to Konoha, and is herself in both body and mind. Jounin Hatake Kakashi is stable, loyal to Konoha, and is himself in both body and mind. No village secrets have been leaked, no sleeper-agents have been placed within our ranks. Konoha remains secure.”

It’s promising, Hiruzen will admit, but he’s been Hokage for too long to take a lone kunoichi’s word on matters this serious, no matter how much he trusts Uzumaki and her instincts. If everything really has gone as Uzumaki proclaims it has, then this might even be a boon for Konoha.

Kirigakure cannot demand the return of a bijuu they have given to a Konoha nin, regardless of how loosely the word ‘given’ is applicable to this situation. Iwagakure, for all that they fight for some buried slight against their village, will be far more hesitant to attack now that they have two bijuu at their disposal. This might just be what they need to turn the tides of the war, to finally end the pointless drain on their resources.

The fighting has gone on for far too long, the chuunin he sends out getting younger and younger. The life of a shinobi is an ugly thing, and those who live long enough only ever see it grow uglier. Hiruzen has caused far too many young souls break because of his orders, has even done so on purpose should the need arise, and it is so, so tiring.

He thinks of young Nohara, no doubt scared beyond anything she’s ever felt in her life, determined to do whatever it took to keep the Will of Fire burning. Of rigid Hatake, two of his loved ones torn from him while he keeps the world at a distance, so close to losing a third. Of the bright Uchiha, the linchpin of this new Team Seven, stolen away and left to rot behind enemy lines. Orochimaru, more reticent than ever. Tsunade, terrified of blood and losing herself to drink. Jiraiya, taking every opportunity to be anywhere but here, a loyal Leaf shinobi who could no longer stand to be in the place he calls home.

He dismisses Uzumaki, watching her hurried departure. There’s no doubt that she’s going right back to young Nohara and Hatake, and despite everything, Hiruzen lets himself hope.

He needs to find an adequate means for dealing with Nohara Rin’s situation. A teacher, at least. As for Sakumo’s son, Hiruzen wonders if he could convince Jiraiya to talk to the boy – that kind of talent with seals is rare to see, and the further separation from what his father was known for might do the boy good.

If nothing else comes of this, he’s at least pleased that he was able to see two of his shinobi returned to the village at last, alive against all odds.

 

* * *

 

Isobu waits, listening to the indistinct flow of sounds filtering in through the ocean above them. They’ve known Rin-san and her teammates for less than a full day, and had expected the worst when the three had begun to set out their plan to re-enter their village. Rin-san seems nice, if slightly pushy, and Hatake-san and Obito-san have only ever been polite to them, but…

Humans, Isobu has found, tend to put up a façade in order to get what they truly want.

The brief moments of freedom, of cooperation and learning they’ve been able to experience, have been wonderful reminders that not everything is terrible and aimed to cause hurt. They remember wishing that it had lasted longer, as Rin-san had let herself be taken in by Obito-san’s Mangekyo Sharingan.

Waking up still in full control of their being had been a pleasant surprise, the lack of new chains binding them to another’s will a bright beam of hope for how their partnership with these three humans might continue to go. Feeling Rin-san’s worry, the way the false memories cloud the connection between them is terrifying, but Isobu had known that it would happen. The humans had told them, while the three planned. They had given Isobu a very important job to do, and a specific amount of time to wait while the other shinobi poke and prod at the seal keeping them here.

They remember the anxiety coursing through them as the red-haired human had entered their seal, swimming all the way down to Isobu’s coral cave, peering at the entrance. The relief that followed soon after when the human had left after poking at what Hatake-san had said would be illusions of a multitude of locks and chains restraining their illusory double inside of an impenetrable barrier.

They had moved Rin-san after that, the poor girl slipping unconscious from all of the stress, and Isobu had taken the time to shuffle of to the entrance themself. Like it has always been since Kakashi-san had changed it, it had been empty. They could poke their head out, leave the cave completely if they so wished, and the Sanbi had been – happy.

They are still happy, even with the worries of the medical personnel seeping into their senses, with Rin-san’s troubled sleep. After another forty hours, Isobu will speak to her, will use the phrase Obito-san had suggested to free her from his genjutsu. She will feel much better after that, they think. Isobu thinks that _they_ will feel better once Rin-san remembers, too. Her steady confidence and bright determination are warm spots of comfort to them, and they look forward to conversing with their tentative friend once more.

Maybe, if everything goes well and Rin-san and her family keep pleasantly surprising them, they might even tell her their name. Isobu hasn’t heard their name be spoken aloud in over a century, and they haven’t given it to anyone for even longer.

That will come later, hopefully.

For now, Isobu waits, listening to the world around them. Thinking of a bright smile, warm and accepting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kushina's ANBU friend is Mikoto, who most certainly did not just "settle down and become a housewife". She's also super formal and technical in her meeting with Sarutobi because the lives of her kids are on the line, and it's a big enough matter that the Hokage's not the only who's going to be interested.
> 
> Rin and Kakashi are going to keep bugging Obito about the Akatsuki until he finally joins them again - they were good for him, in a weird and murder-inducing way.
> 
> Next chapter, the gang (minus Obito) gets to deal with the consequences of going AWOL in the middle of a war. (AKA Minato cries at them)
> 
> I've been sick for the past four days, so I haven't been writing anywhere near as much. I've still got plenty of chapters in reserve for you guys, though, so don't worry. This chapter breezes over a couple of things, so if anyone's confused just let me know and I'll try to clarify. Again, I'm going to be doing some small editing on this fic, so I'm sorry if there's a lot of update notifications (I also don't know how AO3's notification system works - sorry!) Thanks!


	7. The Aftermath (Parenting is Hard)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minato is an emotional wreck, Kushina has a bone to pick with Kakashi's story, Isobu gets annoyed, and Rin remembers. Heartwarming moments are had and broken, baby Rin and Kakashi are precious while they last, and Obito was left alone to plot. Kushina's about to kick off a trend of not buying her kids' carefully crafted plans, so they may as well give in now (once they know to give in, of course).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight heads up for unreliable narrator Kakashi in the fifth section. As you may have noticed, the kids don't realize that the altered memories are fake.

 

 

**Time Travel? I Don't Know Her**

 

 

As a jounin of Konoha, Namikaze Minato is expected to fight. As a particularly powerful frontline fighter with unbelievable tales following his battles and a kill count in the thousands, he is expected to fight _hard_ and to fight _often_.

Now that he no longer has a team to lead and teach, he has been at the forefront of the bloodiest battles non-stop. He hasn’t been home since the day he and Kushina had waited at the gates for a returning envoy that never came, and he almost doesn’t want to go back.

Kushina would hit him if she knew the way his thoughts have been clouding over recently, and at this point that’s the only thing keeping him going.

It feels strange, to finish presenting such an overwhelming show of force against yet another squadron of enemy nin only to turn around and head back to Konoha, but lately Minato has been so tired. Now that he’s back, maybe he should listen to what he knows Kushina would tell him, if he let her.

As morose as he’s been for the past two weeks, the fire that is his amazing wife never fails to breath a spark of life back into him, though he usually has longer than a few seconds to savor the bone-crushing hug she tackles him with the second he steps through the gates.

“Come on, pretty boy! You’ve already missed half of the shit-show, but we might still make it before he wakes up!”

Minato is rather used to getting hauled around like a sack of flour whenever his wife gets excited, but not knowing why she’s in such a hurry is new. He recognizes the direction she’s taking them but doesn’t know why she’s sprinting – so, he asks.

“Before who wakes up? Kushina, why are we going to the hospital?”

Kushina rolls her eyes as she hauls Minato into the main lobby of Konoha’s shinobi hospital, breezing past the desk nin at a brisk walk without a word. Running in a hospital has been a no go ever since Rin’s impassioned lecture some months ago.

“Kakashi, of course. Rin’s already awake, so you missed that.”

Minato abruptly feels his knees go weak. Apparently Kushina does too, since she scoops him up into her arms and speeds up to an almost run. He grabs at her sleeve.

“Kakashi, he’s alive? Rin?”

After two weeks of dead air, he hadn’t dared to hope. Every day past Team Kakashi’s scheduled return date had sat on his heart like a stone. Kushina, as she often does, blasts through the heavy weight that’s been crushing him for weeks, and it leaves him dizzy.

Kushina flashes him a daring grin, and Minato feels like the world has finally started making sense again.

“Of course! They’re your kids, why wouldn’t they be?”

Kushina pushes them into a corner room and sets Minato back on his feet, herding him forwards.

There are two occupied beds in the well-lit room, and Minato feels like he might start crying.

A slow rustle of sheets draws his attention to the bed on the left, and a tired, “Kushina-nee-san?” seals the deal.

“Rin!” Minato gasps, tears running down his cheeks. Darting forward, he engulfs his precious, wonderfully alive student in a tight hug.

“Minato-sensei!” Rin exclaims, hesitating for barely an instant before she returns his hug, throwing her slim arms around him.

“You’re late,” Minato laughs, refusing to let go. Judging by how hard Rin is clutching him, he doesn’t think that she wants him to.

“Sorry, sensei,” Rin “I promise it won’t happen again.”

 

* * *

 

Three hours, several ominous coded explanations, and another round of hugging later, Minato, Kushina, and Rin have fallen quiet. Even with the troubling information Kushina’s been allowed to pass on to Minato, this is still the happiest Kushina’s seen her airhead in a while. Even while he’s pondering what they can do to keep the council from taking Rin away from them, a smile occasionally slips onto his lips and brightens his face.

She hasn’t seen him this full of life since Obito died.

Taking a second to herself, Kushina stretches from her sprawl on the uncomfortable hospital chair she’s claimed.

Obito would have been so excited, knowing that Rin had played the dashing hero and saved their teammate. He would have gone red in the face and stammered out her praises, kicking his feet against the ground the whole time. If he knew that Kakashi hadn’t even considered abandoning Rin, had stuck with her and done everything he could to make sure they’d be able to go back together, Kushina knows that the boy would have cheered. Sure, he had always been cagey about his respect for the other brat, but knowing Kakashi has taken Obito’s philosophy to heart and turned over a new leaf would have blown all of the hemming and hawing he did in relation to the other boy out of the water.

Kushina stares out at the rest of the room, with Minato thinking himself gray, Rin asleep again, and Kakashi twitching in his own bed, and hopes that Obito can see the progress they’ve made, both as a team and as people. If she closes her eyes, she can even pretend that he’s actually here with them, instead of watching from the Pure Land.

(In kamui, a very much alive and pouting Obito sneezes into the medical herbs he’s been stress growing ever since he’d had to make the return trip all alone.)

Wait, twitching?

Kushina rockets to her feet, her chair falling over in her haste. Grabbing Minato’s wrist, she hauls them both over to Kakashi’s bed.

Lo and behold, the little munchkin is glowering up at the ceiling, awake and already moody.

“Kakashi!” Minato cries, launching himself at the silver haired brat.

Since he can’t move because he’s still recovering from chakra exhaustion, Kakashi has to endure Minato’s blatant display of love and affection. He’s glaring something fierce and has managed to get his arm between himself and Minato, but that’s it.

“Good afternoon, sleeping beauty,” Kushina snorts, popping her hip out as she watches the last, grumpy member of Minato’s team slowly turn his head towards her. “I don’t know what stupid stunt you pulled, but you’ve been out for a day and a half.”

Kakashi narrows his uncovered eye at her. “…Kushina-san.”

Pissed, Kushina swoops in right behind Minato, digging her knuckles into Kakashi’s disgustingly dirty hair. “It’s Kushina-nee-san. How many times do I have to tell you, you little brat? Kushina. Nee. San.”

Kakashi’s scrunches his face up and squeaks. It’s not as adorable as Rin is, but Kushina’s game enough to admit that it’s still pretty damn adorable.

“Ah, Kushina,” Minato breaks off his emotional hug, no doubt worrying over his precious student’s head.

“Don’t you ‘Ah, Kushina,’ me, even Rin knows better than to call me that! This little old man needs to get with the program, pretty boy!”

Kakashi jerks under her fist. “Rin!”

He’s come so far, Kushina thinks fondly as she uses her grip to point Kakashi’s head in Rin’s direction. “You did good, brat.”

Kakashi tries to crane his head up to see over Minato’s dandelion puff of hair and Kushina obligingly tugs her excited puppy of a husband to the side.

Unsurprisingly, Rin had stirred from her nap at Minato’s screech earlier, and meets Kakashi’s eye with a sleepy air of questioning. A second later, her eyes widen and she sends him a timid, awkward smile.

The brat doesn’t return Rin’s smile, but something in him seems to sag in relief. It warms Kushina’s heart.

She figures that these kids need some good news, and she, as a general principle, never passes up the opportunity to put a smile on loved ones’ face. Even if she has some misgivings about the particulars behind the subject.

“The reworked seals have been checked over – they’re fine. Though no one can figure out how the hell you knew to design them like that, they work,” she levels a hard look at Kakashi, who glares back at her. She can tell he’s pouting. To Rin, she says, “I’ve made sure, and the Hokage’ll back me up on this, but no one’s going to be messing around with you more than they already have. And, once Kakashi’s seal finishes completely with the Curse Tag, both will fade completely.”

Rin lets out a quiet sound of relief, her eyes suspiciously shiny.

Kushina turns back to Kakashi, grinning evilly. Now that both of her kids are home, she’s finally able to mess with them again.

“You’re late, Mr. Team Leader.”

Kakashi immediately looks offended.

“We got lost, Kushina-nee-san,” Rin jumps in, tying to stop Kakashi from self-destructing due to his increasing annoyance.

Completely uncalled for, Minato hums softly. “You got lost on the road of life.”

Kakashi closes himself off quickly enough to give Kushina whiplash, and Rin makes a breathless, startled sound, freezing in place.

Minato looks around at the sudden quiet, confused. “Huh?”

Kushina whaps the back of her pretty idiot’s head – just when they were getting somewhere on making these kids less depressing!

Rin flinches at the sound, and Kushina grimaces. Well, it looks like staying around any longer is just asking to make things even worse.

“Blondie and I need to finish up some mission paperwork, so we need to go now. Play nice you two, and… welcome back.”

Standing silently at her side, Minato gives one last forcefully bright grin. “I’m so proud of you. Thank you for coming home.”

Rin nods once, stiff, and Kakashi doesn’t respond at all.

The two adults walk calmly out of the room, pausing briefly in the hallway.

“I’m tired,” Rin mutters, muffled through the wall. “I’m gonna sleep now.”

There’s the sound of rustling sheets before there’s silence. Then, even softer than before, “It’s going to be alright, Kakashi. Everything is going to turn out just fine.”

Minato tugs Kushina away from the room, solemn.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Kushina shakes her head. “Yes, but if it wasn’t you, it would have been something else. It happened, and the best thing we can do right now is not make it worse.”

Minato is quiet. “I wish I could do more.”

Kushina laughs, humorless. “We all do.”

 

* * *

 

Isobu is very irritated.

That, that blond human! Ooh, Isobu does not like that blond man. He shows up for a few hours, makes Rin-san cry, makes Hatake-san uncomfortable, and _says the special words_.

Isobu was supposed to say those!

They were supposed to wait for another twelve hours, then say the line from what they assumed was an obscure poem, and then Rin-san would wake up from Obito-san’s genjutsu!

Instead, this rude man just came in and ruined everything! He wasn’t supposed to say Isobu’s words at all, but he most certainly shouldn’t have said them so early!

A soft chuckle breaks their concentration, and Isobu looks down. Rin-san is sitting at their feet, completely relaxed. Immediately, relief courses through them.

They’d known, objectively, that Rin-san would remember them and their tentative friendship once she got out of Obito-san’s illusion, but it’s still nice to see firsthand.

Still, Isobu huffs, because Rin-san seems to find their irritation amusing.

“It’s alright, Sanbi-san,” Rin-san chirps, her cheeks red from laughing. “He didn’t know any better.”

Isobu sits down sharply, nearly bowling Rin-san over with the resulting gust of air.

“That doesn’t matter,” they say, put out. “Those weren’t his words to say!”

Rin-san sobers up and reaches out to pat Isobu’s leg. “What’s really upsetting you?” she asks, soft.

Isobu lets their head thunk onto the ground. “He took –”

“That’s not the full issue here and you know it,” Rin cuts them off.

Isobu pauses, because she’s right. It’s not just about their words.

“He took away my job,” Isobu eventually settles on. “It was the only thing you asked me to do, and I couldn’t even try to make sure I didn’t let you down.”

Rin-san leans her weight against them. They’ve felt her do this to her friends when they got sad, but it’s the first time anyone has ever done it to them. “Waking me up from the genjutsu wasn’t the only thing we asked you to do, Sanbi-san.”

Isobu rolls their head towards her, lost.

She smiles at them, reassuring. “When I was vulnerable, you didn’t break out of the seal. You didn’t attack Konoha, when we finally got here, and you didn’t attack Kushina when she stood outside of your cave, easily within your reach. Everything that you’ve done, you’ve made me proud. You have in no way let me down, Sanbi-san.”

Isobu sniffs. The idea that so much of their plan had hinged on them, that they had trusted them with such important choices is humbling. They bow their head once more.

“Isobu. My name is Isobu, Rin-san.”

After this, their name is the least of what she deserves.

“I still don’t like that man.”

Rin-san laughs.

 

* * *

 

As soon as the Council found out that Kakashi was awake, the boy had been whisked from his hospital bed to stand in his own hearing regarding his knowledge of forbidden seals, despite the fact that he could barely stand at all. Minato had been allowed to stand by his side during the proceedings since he was his jounin teacher, but Kushina had had to fight tooth and nail to get in. She’s pretty sure the only reason she was actually allowed was because Kakashi had allegedly learned one of the seals because of her.

The trial, because there’s no way it was anything else, went smoothly. Minato’s brat had confidently answered all of the questions the old farts threw at him, and nothing in his story contradicted itself. Backed with the ironclad defense of Yamanaka Inokata’s own report of the incidents, the most the council could do was give him a slap on the wrist for looking at what was obviously forbidden knowledge.

All in all, it went perfectly.

Except, Kushina knows exactly which scroll she keeps her information about the Eight Trigrams Seal on, and that scroll doesn’t exist. There’s a scroll with the basic breakdown of Trigram Seals in general she’s got stowed away, but the safety measures protecting it are hard enough that _she_ would have difficulty breaking them. Even if the brat could have broken them, there’s no way he could have used that knowledge to do what he did to Rin’s seal. The only person aside from herself who could maybe be able to figure something out is Minato’s teacher Jiraiya. Kakashi may be a genius and a jounin, but he’s not _that_ good.

Now, Kushina knows without a doubt that Kakashi is loyal to Konoha. A little too ruthless in his loyalty and quest for perfection, yes, but Kushina knows that everything he does, he does for Konoha. That’s just how he works.

She also knows that the person who she carried back to Konoha alongside Rin is most certainly Hatake Kakashi. She would have known even without Yamanaka’s investigation, but extra evidence can never hurt.

However, the memories Yamanaka had looked through and reported had been false. Maybe not all of them, but the fact that even just his memory of breaking into her non-existent scroll is false is enough to send the rest into dangerous territory.

Both Kakashi and Rin had been checked for any traces of genjutsu before they had even entered the village, and there had been frequent re-checks throughout the debriefing and information gathering process proceeding this hearing. Every single time, the results had come back negative, even when an Uchiha had done the test.

When Kushina had asked Mikoto about the possibility of a genjutsu even the Sharingan couldn’t break, her friend had clammed up. She’d had to promise a whole slew of concessions, favors, and blackmail before her friend had haltingly admitted the possibility of such a thing theoretically existing.

She’s made sure to keep a close eye on Kakashi and Rin just in case her gut feeling about them is wrong, but so far nothing has happened.

Still, she wants to get a word in with Kakashi himself before he has to go to the headache that will be his meeting with the Uchiha. Something happened with Obito’s eye and they’re freaking out about it as a collective whole, according to Mikoto. She’s going to have to be careful, though, because if she tips Kakashi off that his memories aren’t quite right, he’ll go straight to T&I, the paranoid, self-destructive brat that he is.

The trial is finally over, now, and it’s go time. Moving fast, Kushina snags Kakashi from Minato’s side with a carefully calculated whoop.

“Let’s get out of here before the old geezers mistake you for one of their own and trap you here for good!”

Kakashi endures his sudden kidnapping with ill grace, but doesn’t actually protest. The two of them manage to make it all the way back to her house before he starts pushing at her to be put down. Snorting, Kushina shoves his crutch into the hand he’s trying to separate them with, and plops him back on his feet.

“Come on in, brat. I’ve got something I need to talk to you about.”

 

* * *

 

Kakashi would much rather be training to regain full mobility than sitting around with Kushina-san. Actually, since she looks like she’s pretending to not be angry, Kakashi would rather be doing _anything_ other than sitting around with Kushina-san.

He grudgingly follows the red haired kunoichi inside, scowling fiercely. He didn’t do anything wrong, so he doesn’t know why she’s about to yell at him.

Kushina-san chats away as she herds him into her kitchen and sets up a tea kettle in the most inefficient way Kakashi has ever seen, and he can feel his nerves straining. When she finally slams a steaming cup of tea in front of him, Kakashi can hear the slight hum of privacy seals clicking into place, and it’s not gratifying at all to know that he’s really not going to like what’s about to happen.

“Drink,” Kushina says flatly.

Kakashi warily inspects the tea, subtly trying to sniff out any added substances. He ends up sneezing because of the highly floral aroma, and Kushina snorts.

“If I was going to slip you something, I would have been a lot more subtle than this. I’m being courteous, since those old blockheads made you talk for an hour straight without any water breaks. Just drink the damn tea already.”

Shooting Kushina one last suspicious glare, Kakashi brings the cup up to his face, pulls his mask down just far enough to take a sip, then pulls it right back up. Kushina rolls her eyes, but finally moves on to what she wanted to talk to him about.

“So. You decided that you wanted to take a peek at some of my scrolls, huh?”

It was all in the pursuit of more knowledge, since Minato-sensei would only teach him so much and the library didn’t have anything as high level as Kushina-san did. He was bettering himself as a shinobi so that he could be more effective in his service to Konoha. He did absolutely nothing wrong, and he tells Kushina-san this.

“Mmhmm, and putting aside that you absolutely didn’t have my permission to look into it, why did you keep reading when the information on the scroll was clearly forbidden?”

“Nowhere on the scroll did it say that it contained forbidden fuunijutsu,” Kakashi immediately retorts.

Kushina-san is quiet for a moment, then gets up and leaves the kitchen. Kakashi waits, the palms of his hands burning slightly at how hard he’s gripping his cup of hot tea. Absently, he sneaks in another sip – once he gets past the overpowering smell, it actually didn’t taste that bad.

Kushina-san stalks back into the room, carrying a familiar scroll. Kakashi refuses to shrink in his seat.

“Is this the scroll you broke into?” Kushina-san waves the seal-covered scroll in his face.

Defiantly, Kakashi keeps his eyes on Kushina-san’s face instead of the scroll she looks like she might bludgeon him with. “Yes.”

“And just what did you find on this confidential scroll of mine?”

Kakashi frowns. He’s already explained this to the Council. Kushina-san was there. Why does she want him to say it again? “It describes the basics of the Eight Trigrams Seal.”

Kushina-san leans closer, threatening. “And what else is on it?”

Now Kakashi is confused. Nothing on the scroll had seemed to be overly dangerous to him at the time – highly sensitive information, yes, but so unlikely to be used that it was practically useless. Something else must be going on here. “Some rudimentary descriptions of Three and Five Trigram Seals?”

Kushina-san mulls over his answer for a while before abruptly switching tracks. “And where did you find it?”

Something else is definitely going on here. “Under the couch.”

Kushina-san nods, then slams both of her hands onto the table. “And how, may I ask, did you open it?”

Kakashi glares up at the kunoichi who’s always trying to treat him like a child instead of the deadly shinobi he is. “I deactivated all of the seals and unrolled it. I _can_ read.”

Kushina-san doesn’t let up. “You deactivated all of the seals? How long did it take you?”

She’s always acting like he can’t do things that any normal jounin would be expected to do, Kakashi thinks huffily. “Yes, I deactivated all of them. I wouldn’t be sitting here if I missed one, would I?” he asks, sounding in no way like a petulant child. “It took me an hour and a half.”

“Bullshit.” Kushina looms over Kakashi, very much in his personal space. “Don’t lie to me, Kakashi, because I’ll know.”

Kakashi pulls his tea closer to his chest and looks away.

“Kakashi,” Kushina-san growls, and Kakashi crumples.

“Fine! Fine, it took me three hours!” Kakashi grouses. “Some of them were really complex.”

Kushina-san sits back at last, giving Kakashi some room to breathe.

Kakashi pouts into his tea, disappointed in his lack of composure. He promptly chokes on his tea when Kushina-san whacks him over the head with the scroll like she’s been threatening to do for the past five minutes.

“Don’t go snooping through my stuff, brat!”

Kakashi cringes, and she whacks him a few more times for good measure. At least she doesn’t start interrogating him again, letting him finish his tea in peace.

She does walk him over to the Uchiha district, though, a silent presence by his side keeping the stares and whispers he’s so used to at bay. He’s not going to thank her for it, but Kakashi will privately admit to himself at least that the walk could have been a lot worse.

They meet up with an Uchiha escort at the district gates, and Kushina-san scrubs her hand through his hair.

He tries to bat her away, and she grins.

“Good luck with these sticks in the mud, kid. I’m going to go make sure pretty boy’s not hogging all of Rin’s attention.”

She’s gone in a flash, and Kakashi is alone with his scornful escort.

He’s even less enthused to go to this meeting than he was about being subjected to an angry Kushina-san.

 

* * *

 

The problem with killing off Madara, Obito has come to realize, is that it would make Zetsu a pain in the ass to predict.

His puppeteer has already been thrown off of his original track because of the disappearing stunt Obito pulled back when they all first got back, but he still knows generally what Zetsu is going to do. If he takes out Madara, who’s operating as Zetsu’s pawn, then _everything_ Obito knows will be useless instead of just _most_ of it.

Zetsu is a pain in the ass to deal with, when he’s on guard and has a target he’s aiming to take out. If Obito wants to avoid the headache his dilemma is shaping up to be, he could just kill Madara and his hoard of Zetsu clones, then spend maybe a month or two on clean up. He’s not going to do that, though, because Rin called dibs.

Still, Obito doesn’t want to sit around and watch his oh so honorable forefather do grumpy old man things. It was mind-breakingly boring the first time around, and he would have to be some kind of masochist if he made himself sit through it again, when he can _actually leave_ this time.

Gramps doesn’t look all too worried with Obito’s disappearing act, which would be disheartening if Obito still had any faith left in the guy. He’s heard Zetsu spinning a story about it, reassuring Madara that they’re keeping an eye out for Obito and will swoop in and return him to the Mountain’s Graveyard once they find him. He almost laughs at that – there’s no way he’s going to let them drag him back into this shithole.

Putting that aside, it also means there’s at least one Zetsu clone watching Konoha, which might be able to tide Rin over until she can finally leave and start picking them off with aplomb.

Maybe the unexplained loss of a Zetsu can be enough to ruffle some feathers… actually, now that he thinks about it, it would be the _perfect_ way to ruffle them. A mysterious loss of supposedly undetectable forces would be enough to piss of anyone.

Rin’s called dibs on killing the Zetsu, but she never said anything about Obito rounding them up and keeping them for a while before he handed them over to her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kushina doesn't bring up the issue about Kakashi's memories because she knows that if she makes him suspicious, he'll turn himself in. She's sure that he's still Kakashi and still loyal to Konoha, so letting him get himself tortured for info he doesn't have is a stupid idea she's not going to let happen.
> 
> Here's a little teaser of Obito, just to let you know I didn't forget about him! He has more of an actual role in the next, don't worry. Also, Kakashi gets his memories back in the next chapter. Like I said in the tags, it's a brief thing, these memory shenanigans. 
> 
> Ch10 has been fighting me, but up until then it should be a relatively smooth update schedule of 4-ish days between chapters.


	8. This Didn't Happen Last Time (Damn, She's Sharp)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uchiha Mikoto is intimidating, Kakashi gets a rude awakening, Obito's lonely already, Rin gets a rude reveal sprung on her, Isobu learns something new about one of their friends, and Kushina wishes she could get straight answers. The last of Konoha's welcome back interrogations are finished, seeds are stolen, a hat is set on fire, and tea is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not specifically stated, but Kushina worries about potential suicidal thoughts from Kakashi (Nothing happens, he just goes back to the Hatake Compound and she worries about why)
> 
> Warnings aside, this marks the end of the memory loss in this story.

 

**Unexpected Revelations are Hell on the Nerves**

 

 

Uchiha Mikoto has been staring at him for the entirety of the “make Kakashi feel terrible and try to bully him into giving up the dying gift of his brave teammate” meeting the Uchiha had set up. He hadn’t really minded, since _all_ of the Uchiha had been staring at him, but now that the meeting is over it’s starting to unnerve him.

Kakashi doesn’t know much about her. He knows that she’s Kushina-san’s friend, which means that she’s dangerous. He knows that she’s the wife of Uchiha Fugaku, the current clan head, which means she’s dangerous politically. He knows that she’s one of the few Uchiha Obito would actually talk about, which means she’s kind. He doesn’t know why she’s waving away the two escorts who are supposed to accompany him out of the district.

“Hatake-san, let me walk you out,” she says simply, and Kakashi is forcefully reminded of Kushina-san’s ‘come in, I want to talk’ threat he’d had to live through just before coming here.

There’s nothing he can do to get out of this, though, so Kakashi nods his head silently and lets her take the lead.

They step out into the cool evening breeze. The air here smells like smoke.

“Do you know what the generally accepted school of thought is on the advancement of the Sharingan, Hatake-san?”

Kakashi glances briefly at his escort, trying to remember if she’s ever given any indication of her opinions on him having Obito’s eye. He can’t remember anything specific, so he returns to glaring at the air in front of him. “It stems from the psychological response to trauma.”

Mikoto hums noncommittally and waves her hand in a ‘so-so’ gesture. “At its most basic, yes. I was asking more about what you knew on the advancement of transplanted eyes.”

Kakashi can feel his mouth go dry. “I assumed they would still adhere to the same principles.”

“Perhaps,” Mikoto says softly. “I personally don’t believe so.”

Kakashi grimaces. Great.

“You see, there have been records of Uchiha who have swapped eyes advancing their Sharingan, but it’s always been under very specific and very well documented instances,” Mikoto continues, waving the gate guards away when they approach questioningly. She stays with Kakashi as he slowly takes the lead, winding them through the sparse crowds of Konoha’s nightlife.

“It’s never resulted in a simple shift in tomoe before, which is why you’ll have to forgive my curiosity on the subject.” She shoots him a gentle smile. Kakashi feels like he’s being sized up by a large predator. “Oh, are we not going back to your apartment?”

Kakashi would rather they not go anywhere together, but knows better than to say that out loud. Instead, he thinks about last words, the smell of freshly disturbed rocks mixing with blood, and the cold of an empty family home. “No. I have something I wanted to do before I go there.”

“What are you planning on doing?”

Kakashi tightens his jaw, his shoulders raising defensively. “I was going to give someone closure.”

He can feel Mikoto’s calculating eyes on him. “This last mission put some things into perspective for you, I’d say.”

Kakashi clenches his fist and lets himself walk a path he hasn’t taken in years.

“You’re quite quiet, aren’t you?” Mikoto laughs. “Though that’s not how Obito would tell it.”

Kakashi flinches.

“He would always go on and on about his teammates, you see. I feel like I’ve known you for just as long as he has! He worried about you, you know, for the longest time.”

Kakashi doesn’t want to be a part of this conversation anymore. He walks faster.

“I suppose it’s good that you’re starting to fix what made him so concerned about his ‘Super Awesome Rival’. Sakumo-san was one of his idols, after all.”

Kakashi increases his pace again, now only barely not running. Even if she didn’t have much longer legs, he knows that Mikoto would still be unfazed by his brisk cadence.

“I suppose that an increase in the tomoe of a transplanted eye could occur,” she muses, suddenly switching back to a still completely unbearable topic, “but I don’t believe that eyes that haven’t fully developed are capable of advancing in a separate host.”

Kakashi can see the tips of the enormous fir trees that surround the Hatake Compound. He’s almost free.

“At least, not without a proper biological trigger. Or, just maybe, a connection to someone who has the proper trigger.” She brings her hand down hard onto Kakashi’s shoulder.

Right in front of the entrance to his childhood home, he freezes.

Mikoto laughs brightly. “Oh, but you must think me to be so rude, interrupting you while you’re trying to mourn.” She kneels down to look at Kakashi eye to eye, her Sharingan spinning slowly. “Please don’t think too badly of me. It’s just that I will do _anything_ for my family.”

Kakashi stares up at her, terrified by the possibility of losing the only part of Obito he has left.

“So take care of him, Hatake Kakashi, and if you ever find out something about my little hypothesis, you’ll _tell me_. Won’t you?”

Hesitantly, Kakashi nods.

Like a switch has been flipped, Mikoto stands up fully, no longer leveling uncalled for amounts of killing intent at Kakashi. “Congratulations on finishing the last boring ‘welcome back to Konoha’ trial! I hope to see you again soon.”

With that ominous parting shot, Mikoto takes her hand off of his shoulder and turns around, leaving for the Uchiha district at an unhurried pace.

Kakashi shakes himself. He can’t let something as simple as words get to him, no matter how deep they cut. It’s unbecoming of a shinobi.

He doesn’t want to be a shinobi right now. He just wants to take some time to himself and remember.

Steeling himself, Kakashi pushes his way through the weed-infested walkway and into his house. It is just as dark and run down as he expected it to be.

Kakashi sighs, then choughs slightly at the disturbed dust in the air.

“Man, this place is a wreck! I can’t believe you actually called me out for having shit in kamui when you live like this.”

Kakashi whirls around, his eyes as wide as plates. “Obito?”

There, in the middle of his old hallway, stands Obito. He isn’t wearing clothing that Kakashi can remember ever seeing him in, and half of his face is heavily scarred. Obito – because it smells like Obito, like warmth and determination and sweat – sticks his head into a closet.

“Hell yes, you didn’t tell me you had gardening supplies here!”

Kakashi can’t feel his legs, and his voice comes out as a hoarse whisper. “Obito, what –”

The specter of his teammate waves an absent hand at him. “Hold on a second. Ah, here, can you hold this for me?”

Kakashi blindly grasps at the object his dead teammate thrusts into his hands. When he finally pries his eye away from watching Obito stuff vegetable seed packets into his pockets, he looks down to find… the Hokage’s hat? What?

“’Congratulations, Lord Sixth,’” Obito’s ghost recites, and Kakashi’s world falls apart.

 

* * *

 

An explosion tears through the hall, decimating a decaying wall.

Obito turns away from his spoils to stare in shock at a heavily breathing Kakashi, then at the smoldering remains of his paper mache Hokage hat.

“Kakashi, what the fuck?”

Kakashi calmly strides over to the burning remains of Obito’s hard work and crushes it under his heel. “I was keeping my promise.”

“What promise? To who? _Why would you promise anyone to set that stupid hat on fire_?”

“Because it’s what needed to be done so that I could remain true to myself,” Kakashi intones serenely. “Also, I think your aunt knows you’re alive.”

Obito’s eyebrows just about fly off his face. “ _What?!_ ”

Kakashi narrows his eye at him. “Those are for the garden out back.”

Momentarily distracted, Obito hugs his current bounty of seeds to his chest. “Are you actually planning to live here and use them?”

Kakashi gives him a _look_ , and Obito sticks his tongue out at him.

“Then you don’t need them. I’m just taking them so they don’t waste away without anyone to plant them.”

“Since they’ve been here for years, I’m not sure they’ll sprout at all if you plant them,” Kakashi muses dryly.

“That’s quitter’s talk,” Obito snaps. “I’m sure they’ll be lovely once someone gives them the nurturing they need.”

“Are you talking about yourself again? I’m sure Rin and I can give you all of the nurturing you could ever need, you know. You just have to ask first.” Kakashi drawls, gazing at Obito over his shoulder.

Obito flushes. “Shut up, you asshole! That doesn’t have anything to do with – I mean, no! I’m not talking about myself!”

Kakashi snorts, entirely unimpressed. “Sure.”

Obito waves a packet of eggplant seeds at Kakashi. “Fuck off! What did you mean, my aunt knows I’m alive? Which aunt?”

Kakashi grinds the pile of ash under his heel one last time before he finally leaves it alone. He shrugs, walking back over to Obito. “How many aunts actually cared about you?”

Obito draws in a sharp breath. “Mikoto-obaa-san got you?”

“Mm. She’s vicious,” Kakashi says, with an air of respect. “You should probably stop by and let her know you’re still alive sooner rather than later.”

Obito squawks. “Me?! You’re the one she bullied, she probably wants _you_ to be the one to tell her!”

Kakashi shoves a finger in Obito’s face and waves it disapprovingly. “She only went to me because I was the easiest point of contact and because she probably thinks that you can’t just pop on over for a chat, like any rational person would assume about someone who had a cave collapse on them.”

He slings his arm over Obito’s shoulders, and Obito hopes the stretch is uncomfortable for him.

“Why would she want to have any more contact with me, the reason her poor, sweet nephew got so gravely injured in the first place, when she could just cut out the middle man and talk to you directly?”

Obito scoffs. “You just don’t want to talk to her again.”

“I would love to talk to her again,” Kakashi corrects. “I just don’t want her to intimidate me again.”

Obito raises an eyebrow. “The ever unflappable Hatake Kakashi is intimidated by a lone housewife?”

Kakashi eye-smiles right in Obito’s face. “I said I wanted to talk to her again, didn’t I?”

Obito doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he turns back to saving the rest of Kakashi’s graciously offered family gardening closet, grateful for how many pockets his heavy travelling cloak has. Kakashi watches over his shoulder, not quite willing to let go after the psychological barbs Mikoto no doubt ran him through. Obito’s not complaining, though, since he’d forgotten how cold it gets without Kakashi and Rin always at his side.

“If you want me to tell Mikoto-obaa-san I’m still alive, you’re going to have to tell Rin,” Obito bargains.

Kakashi heaves a sigh but doesn’t argue, which Obito’s taking as tacit agreement.

“I want to see her,” Obito complains, suddenly leaning his weight onto Kakashi and making him stumble.

“Once you figure out how to interact with someone who’s under constant surveillance from a full, very twitchy ANBU guard without them noticing, be my guest. If they catch even a hint of you, though, seeing Rin again will be so much harder. Also, she’ll be pissed at you for not following your own damn plan,” Kakashi says, giving up on supporting both of their weights and letting himself slide to the floor.

Obito digs his chin into the top of Kakashi’s head, which is much more pleasant to do now that the little gremlin has washed his hair recently. “I know that. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to see her, though.”

Kakashi scrambles to push Obito off of his head. “Is the whole Madara thing not distracting enough?”

“I can’t kill him yet,” Obito whines. “If I do it now, Zetsu will just disappear! Rin might have more fun that way, but it’ll also make keeping the body count down a lot more challenging.”

“Hm,” Kakashi hums unsympathetically, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a ration bar. He grabs Obito’s hand and forces him to take the food. “Aside from disappointed, how are you doing?”

Obito makes a face at the bar. No matter how many times he tells them, his teammates keep forcing him to eat. He’ll just toss it into kamui later. “Pretty bored, without the insanity you two inspire. It’s been quiet.”

Kakashi tightens his grip on Obito’s wrist painfully. “If you throw that away without eating it, I will know.”

“I wasn’t going to do that!” Obito lies.

Kakashi gives him the stink-eye, which is extra creepy when he’s this close to Obito. “If you’re that lonely without us, just go and round up the Akatsuki again. Don’t bother waiting.”

Kakashi pokes Obito’s legs, presumably to check if they would make a suitable pillow for his oh-so-delicate head, then exhales sadly and shoves Obito’s hand, ration bar still in its grasp, into his face. “You used to be so squishy,” he laments.

“I was never _squishy_!” Obito yells. Seriously, hearing that come from a baby-faced Kakashi is beyond insulting. Angrily, he unwraps the bar and takes an enormous bite. He immediately gags at the horrible taste.

Kakashi beams up at him, having apparently decided that he’s going to use Obito’s legs after all, despite their uninviting thinness. Obito ignores him and stuffs the rest of the bar into his mouth out of spite.

Kakashi stretches his legs out. “Since I literally just ‘woke up’, I’ll get back to you tomorrow on how I’m doing. Rin seems to be doing alright, but I haven’t been able to see her much since everyone wanted me to go through some trial or test today. I’ll let you know how she is, too, since I highly doubt that we’re going to be able to get a brand-new jinchuuriki into the Hatake Compound in the middle of the night.”

Obito takes off his gloves and runs his hands through Kakashi’s hair, gripping slightly. “And you’re going to bring up Mikoto-obaa-san with her.”

Kakashi waves a hand lazily above him, unconcerned about his hair. “Yeah, yeah.”

“…how long can you stay here?” Obito asks, firmly focused on the different textures his hands feel from Kakashi’s hair.

“Probably all night, if you don’t mind an angry Kushina or a sad Minato waking us up. Rin’s already ‘awake’, so she won’t need someone to keep her grounded. Even if she did, I guess Isobu could also help out now.”

“Wait, why is she already awake?” Obito asks, his hands pausing. “Isobu was supposed to do that tonight, after you got back!”

Kakashi giggles, which is more disturbing to hear from the child-sized stone-cold killer Obito remembers than it ever was coming from the adult-sized lazy shinobi. “Sensei fucked up. If you needed proof that he still thinks about you, you’ve definitely got it now.”

Obito sucks in a breath. “Oh.” He didn’t think that his death had actually effected Minato – the jounin had always been more focused on Kakashi than him or Rin in training, and he never got the sense that the blond had cared that much about him. That he was wrong about this is… new. He’ll have to think through what it means later, when he’s got both of his friends with him to get sound opinions from.

With conscious effort Obito relaxes his hands, letting them card through Kakashi’s hair again. The two of them sit in the dusty hallway, quietly waiting until their set of three can be complete again.

 

* * *

 

Given that Kushina has checked Rin’s seals a ridiculous number of times and declared them perfectly stable, and the fact that she’s not sick, Rin’s promptly kicked out of the hospital at 2100 sharp. She doesn’t remember the way back to her apartment she’d gotten once upon a time as a self-given reward for reaching chuunin, so she’s grateful for Kushina’s offer to let her sleep at her house.

She’s not sure how weird it’s going to be, dealing with a Kushina that hasn’t gotten used to fielding the ridiculous pranks she and her teammates would frequently subject the woman to in the Pure Land. At least Minato is off trying to sort through the paper work to pull Rin and Kakashi from active missions and won’t be around to make things even _weirder_.

Kushina fills the walk home with lively chatter, her stories about the latest blunder Minato has gotten himself into blending seamlessly with rants about the tragic lack of ramen on the front lines. Despite everything, Kushina will always be Kushina, and Rin takes comfort in that.

Their lighthearted conversation dies down as they enter Kushina’s house, and the red haired woman pauses.

“Kakashi isn’t back yet,” she observes, her tone slightly worried. “He’s supposed to be staying with us for a while - going back to that empty apartment won’t be good for him.”

Rin, knowing full well that the genjutsu Obito put them under had stuck Kakashi with the idea to visit his old family home so that he could check in with Obito there, hums quizzically.

“Mikoto said that he went to the Hatake Compound,” Kushina says, worrying her bottom lip. She turns to Rin. “Do you want to come with me to drag him out of there?”

Rin can’t help the laugh that slips out. Kushina is trying so hard to care for them, but in this case pulling Kakashi out of what would seem to others like a tragedy in the making would have the opposite effect. “I think that we should let him have this,” she says, tugging Kushina away from the door. “He’s got a lot on his mind, and I think that some closure will do him good.”

Kushina pauses, then lets out an explosive sigh. She shakes off Rin’s hand and ruffles her hair instead, her palm a blaze of warmth against Rin’s head. “When did you grow up this much?”

Rin shrugs, rueful. “I like to think we’ve all been growing as people for a while. Sometimes, it just takes terrible hardships for it to shine through.”

“No, I mean when did you grow up,” Kushina reiterates, her hand pressing down uncomfortably. “While that is a very Rin outlook on life, the last time I talked to you there was no way you’d pass up an opportunity to spend time with the brat.”

“Ah, that,” Rin squeaks. Shit. She could never lie to Kushina, even when she wanted to. “We, um.”

Quiet reassurance fills her mind, and Rin will be forever grateful for Isobu-san’s steady support. Pushing her fingers together anxiously, she takes a deep breath.

“To be fair, this is all your fault.” 

Probably not the best thing to start with, but at least Kushina looks intrigued rather than ready to call in the ANBU stationed just outside of the house’s wards. 

“Actually, I guess we should be blaming Madara, if you mean why we grew up in general. You’re the reason we’re grown up _right now_ ,” Rin tries to clarify.

Kushina slowly raises an eyebrow. “Uchiha Madara? Konoha’s first missing-nin?”

Rin nods, Kushina’s hand still on her head. “Yeah. He’s a dick.”

Both of Kushina’s eyebrows go up this time. “Am I a dick too? Is that why you’re giving me the same amount of responsibility as a mean old dead guy?”

“No! You just, didn’t really like the super fashionable makeover we gave Minato-sensei. Also, Madara isn’t dead yet.”

Kushina takes her hand back so she can drag it across her face. “This sounds... interesting. Come on, I’ll make tea while you explain just when exactly you gave the golden wonder a makeover.”

“To be fair, it was Kakashi’s idea,” Rin offers her teammate up as she follows Kushina into the kitchen. Since he’s spending time relaxing with Obito while _she’s_ getting the third degree, Rin finds herself far less charitable than usual. Even the awesome tea Kushina’s making won’t make up for it.

“Kakashi’s?” Kushina echoes, disbelieving.

“Mmhm,” Rin nods sagely. “He really did become quite the prankster after he got tired of everyone getting worried about his unhealthy coping methods. I think he modeled that after you.”

“After me?” Kushina asks. “Did he take stuff from someone else?”

“Well, he adopted Obito’s habitual tardiness and ridiculous excuses, my love of classy literature, and Minato-sensei’s teaching! Even though Lord Third made him take up that last one,” Rin giggles to herself, sending Isobu-san mental images of some of Kakashi’s less than stellar attempts at educating ninja hopefuls.

Kushina eyes her speculatively. “Is this before or after you ticked me off?”

“Oh, way before. He didn’t start copying us until a while after we were dead,” Rin pauses, then makes a face. “Most of us were dead.”

Kushina drops the spoonful of sugar she was putting into Rin’s cup onto the counter. “ _What_?”

Rin rolls her eyes, reflecting on her boys’ past stupidity. “Obito was technically still alive, but he never came back because - like I said - Madara’s a dick.”

Kushina throws a towel at the wall, chugs her tea, and pours herself another cup. “Rin. Sweetie. I’m trying, I really am, but what the hell are you talking about.” She slams Rin’s cup down in front of her so hard some of the tea splashes onto the table. “Why is everything backwards?”

“Because, the first time around, Kakashi already lost two teammates at this point and was going to lose both you and Minato in a couple of months.”

“Oh thank the Sage,” Kushina exclaims, collapsing suddenly onto the table. “Time travel, something rational.”

Rin sighs in relief. And here she’d been thinking that she wasn’t doing a good job of explaining!

 _“Uzumaki-san must be very well versed in time travel,”_ Isobu-san muses. _“I wouldn’t have been able to guess that at all from what you said.”_

Rin twitches. _“Rude.”_

Abruptly, Kushina slams her hands down. “Or it would be rational if it explained why we were all dead! What the hell, Rin?”

Rin’s getting kind of offended that people keep asking her that. She’s been nothing but sensible this whole time!

"I already said! Madara's a dick! I died on this last mission, you and Minato-sensei died a couple months from now, Obito died way later after he pulled his head out of his ass, and Kakashi waited until he was an old ass man before he finally joined the rest of us! After that, we hung out in the Pure Land together and played pranks on everyone. Eventually, you got pissed and chased us around, so I told Obito to use his Kamui and we all ended up here!"

Kushina levels a finger at Rin. "When you say 'Obito died way later', do you mean he didn't die on that damn bridge mission?"

"Yeah, Madara took him and patched him up," Rin says, grimacing. "He never came back because Madara had basically imprisoned him and made him give in to the Uchiha Curse of Hatred."

"That stupid 'Curse'? Rin, have you been talking to the Hyuuga again? It's not real," Kushina frowns. "So Obito's alive again? But he did something bad, and because you don't want to get him in trouble you're not telling anyone you're from the future?"

Wincing, Rin shrugs a shoulder. "Partially, yes. While it wasn't entirely his fault, he did play a very large role in some very nefarious schemes. If he ever got sent to T&I, we wouldn't get him back." She pauses, reconsiders. "Well, we would, but we'd just no longer have a T&I department."

Finally taking a sip of her tea, Kushina makes a disbelieving noise. "Obito? Uchiha Obito? The same little kid who's dream is to become the Hokage and spends all of his time helping little old ladies? What could he possibly have done that's _that_ bad?"

"He set Kyuubi-san loose on Konoha, became the shadow leader of a group of famous missing-nin, engineered an entire Shinobi World War, and tried to put the entire world under a genjutsu."

Kushina stares blankly at Rin. "So. The Curse of Hatred, huh?"

Rin scrunches up her nose. "I guess. Even with that and Madara, it still doesn't excuse him completely. Don't worry, he knows better than to try doing anything like that again."

"He'd better," Kushina threatens absently, still dazed.

 _"Did he really do that?"_ Isobu-san asks, horrified. 

 _"Yeah, but a lot of things were different back then. There's no way he'll do it again; it's kind of like what Kakashi was talking about, with going too far,"_ Rin thinks back, unworried.

_"Hatake-san? How so?"_

_"Like when he said that if you tell me I'm going too far, I'll stop. For Obito, he just needs people around him to let him know when he goes too far."_

Isobu-san is quiet at that. Kushina, however, is not.

"Rin? What are you doing right now?" 

Rin blinks at Kushina's nervous tone. "Oh, I was talking to Sanbi-san." She lights up. "Since we're on the subject, you should probably give Kyuubi-san some breathing room! He's a big old grump, but if you can get through to him I hear he can be the best being to have on your side!"

Kushina chugs her tea, clearly wishing it was alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Uchiha Curse of Hatred is generally regarded as a wacky conspiracy that was probably started by the Hyuuga. Kushina doesn't know what a Kamui is, but she assumes it's more confusing bullshit. She's trying to pick her battles, she really is, but Rin's just making it so hard.
> 
> Next chapter has more Minato! It also doesn't have Obito in it.
> 
> Like always, if you find any errors or have any questions, please let me know! 
> 
> If you want to yell about Naruto or anything with me, I recently got a twitter account (thanks to the same friend who told me to post on here) and was told to give you guys the handle (again by my friend). I'm @WhyIsThisAThi11 with the name Why Is This A Thing Now. I've got no idea how to use it, but I'll talk about nart in a heartbeat!


	9. When in Doubt Confuse the Hell out of Them (It Works Every Time)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minato freaks out, Rin pranks, Kushina counter pranks, Kakashi trolls, and Minato ends up as the butt of yet another joke. Mikoto would like an explanation but would also settle for her nephew, Minato tries his best but doesn't quite manage to understand his kids, and Kakashi verbally vague posts about Obito's height discrepancy. Good tea, bad tea, it's all here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: again, there is worry from Minato caused by implied suicidal thoughts from Kakashi. His worry is based on how he thinks young Kakashi would have potentially acted if he did what our Kakashi just did. There are no actual suicidal thoughts present or depicted.

 

**Don't be Salty, Have Some Tea**

 

 

Minato has spent the past two days feeling very much like he’s had an imaginary rug pulled out from under his feet.

Every moment he hasn’t been with his kids, he’s been running around between helping T&I with their investigation on the Kiri-nin Kakashi had brought back, placating the council about Rin's choice to return to Konoha even though she knew she had a bijuu trapped in a potentially unsteady seal inside of her, and trying to convince Fugaku to get the Uchiha to lighten up on Kakashi for having Obito's eye.

He’s done the best he could to help Kakashi and Rin through the numerous tests Konoha’s demanded of them, tried to stay with them as much as possible to keep them smiling, and had even tried to get their names pulled from active duty (temporarily, since he knows how upset Kakashi would be if he ever finds out Minato attempted to stop him from defending the village).

He had only been able to successfully pull Rin’s file, since her status as a new jinchuuriki makes her ineligible for active battles regardless of Minato’s actions. Kakashi, on the other hand, is an able-bodied shinobi not exhibiting any dangerous behaviors, well-known despite his young age, and already has several different fronts asking for his deployment. Minato had been able to buy him one day with Rin and the rest of their little family, but nothing more.

By the time he had come home last night, the lights had been off and both of the women inside had been asleep. Minato had briefly poked his head into the room they sometimes made Kakashi stay in to check on Rin, quietly picking up the blanket she’d kicked off and settling it back over her, unspeakably relieved that she had felt safe enough to actually get some rest. He’d then gone up to his and Kushina’s room, fallen into his amazing wife’s sleepy embrace, and passed out.

With the weak morning light shining through the window, Minato snaps upright in an instant.

“I left Kakashi!” He gasps, horrified.

Kushina jerks sluggishly, startled awake.

“Th’ f’kr’s fine,” she slurs into her pillow, trying to drag Minato back down.

“He is not fine!” Minato worries. “He spent the night all alone in his apartment, after a week in captivity! How could I let him do that?”

Kushina groans and spits some of her hair out of her mouth. “'E didn’t go th’re.”

Minato turns towards her, hopeful. “Did he squirrel himself away into one of your various hiding places, since we gave his room to Rin, and I just missed him when I came in?”

Kushina squints blearily up at him. “’S at th’ Hat’ke C’mp’nd.”

Minato disappears in a flash of yellow.

Reappearing at the closest marker he has to Kakashi’s old family home, he sprints, his stomach sinking. Through Jiraiya-sensei, he’d known the two Hatake before Sakumo’s unfortunate end. Sakumo had been so hopeful about his mentorship of Kakashi that the man had even keyed him into the wards, affording him the ability to enter the old house without the expressed invitation of someone with Hatake blood.

The thought that he has this permission doesn’t cross his mind as he runs through the gates and up to the door, but his panic overcomes his need to see Kakashi at the last second. He skids to a halt, his nose brushing the door, and all he can see for a second is the terrible possibilities that wait on the other side.

In the quiet morning air, he hears a faint shifting of cloth. Then, the smell of burnt wood hits his nose, and he forgets himself.

Minato bursts through the door blindly and immediately runs into a bleary Kakashi, sending them both to the ground.

As quickly as he can, Minto jolts to his feet and scoops Kakashi up into a tight hug.

“Kakashi!”

His precious student squirms in his hold like he usually does whenever anyone initiates any form of contact with him. Minato's willing to take that as a good sign.

"You stink."

"Eh?"

Kakashi leans his face as far away from Minato as he can, not doing anything else to break out of Minato's embrace. "You smell bad, Minato-sensei. Did you even take a shower at all since you came back from Iwa?"

Minato sweats. Now that Kakashi mentions it, he's pretty sure that he spent all of his time making sure that his kids didn't have to deal with anything on their own ever since Kushina first dragged him to the hospital. He doesn't remember showering. "Ah, Kakashi, what makes you think I was in Iwa?"

Kakashi stares up at him, his unimpressed look even more effective than usual. "I just told you, you stink. I could smell the Iwa on you even if you stood all the way across the village."

Minato frowns at him, worried. "Do I really smell that bad?"

Kakashi keeps starting. Minato feels like crying.

The sound of soft footsteps politely signifying someone's approach snaps him out of it, and he turns towards the door he mishandled, Kakashi still clutched tightly to his chest.

"What happened here?" Mikoto asks. Minato hasn't seen her since Kushina had last invited her friend over to dinner in an attempt to help console her about Obito's death. She's looking much better now, he happily notices; Kushina will be glad to know her friend's feeling better!

Since Kakashi has apparently gotten too impatient to let Minato finish his thoughts before he speaks, his student speaks up in his stead. "Sensei freaked out over nothing and broke the door down. Now he won't let go of me because he thinks I've gone mad with grief or something. I've already told him that just because I have a Sharingan doesn't mean I'm actually an Uchiha."

Minato starts at that. "You've never said that."

Kakashi glances up at him, then shrugs. "I said it just now, didn't I?"

Mikoto, thank goodness, looks more intrigued than offended. 

"If you didn't lose yourself to your all-encompassing grief like a proper Uchiha would, then what did you end up doing?"

While Minato isn't really comfortable with this particular topic being discussed in direct relation to Kakashi, he is interested to know the answer to Mikoto's question. What _was_ Kakashi doing here all night long?

Kakashi rolls his eye skyward, mutters under his breath, "Obito, you'd better thank me for this later," then looks a curiously intent Mikoto directly in the eyes. "I was looking for some answers."

"Did you find them?" Mikoto asks with such a naturally casual tone Minato shivers. In his arms, he can feel Kakashi shiver too.

"I did," his boy answers succinctly. Mikoto's smile sharpens. 

Minato isn't quite sure what's going on anymore.

"What brings you out here this early in the morning, Mikoto?" He tries desperately to get back to familiar territory. 

Mikoto blinks and turns to him, studying him curiously. Minato kind of feels like a pinned butterfly, and he sets Kakashi onto his feet so the poor kid doesn't have to deal with her intense scrutiny too. 

"I accompanied young Kakashi out here last night, after he left the Uchiha District. I had a feeling that he didn't return to his apartment afterwards, and I wanted to check up on him." She turns towards Kakashi again. "You sure do make a lot of people worry, young man."

Kakashi flinches, but bats Minato's arms aside when he tries to shield him from Mikoto. "I know. I've been working on getting better."

While Mikoto mulls his response over, Minato crouches down next to Kakashi. He knows that he's not likely to get a straight answer out of his boy, but he's too worried not to ask.

"Are you alright?"

Kakashi blinks slowly at him, and does something Minato didn't expect. He smiles. It's a tired thing, small and hidden behind his mask, but it's real. Minato doesn't know how long it's been since he's seen Kakashi smile. 

"I'm getting there, sensei."

Minato sniffs tearfully and goes in for another hug. Kakashi blanches and darts over to stand next to Mikoto, and Minato feels utterly betrayed. They had just had a moment!

"Why don't we all go back to Kushina's house and check up on the lovely Rin-chan, hm?" Mikoto intervenes, smiling down at Kakashi and ignoring Minato completely.

Kakashi nods seriously, glancing over his shoulder to give Minato a cool look. "Maybe if you hurry, sensei, you can take a shower before Kushina realizes just how terrible your personal hygiene is."

Minato gapes at the departing back of his smallest student. When had he gotten so talkative? Does he really smell _so bad_ that he changed the very way Kakashi interacts with people? Is it _puberty_?

 

* * *

 

Last night had been a headache and a half, explaining things to an increasingly exasperated Kushina. When Rin had gone to bed, she had fallen asleep the second her head hit the pillow. In the morning, Isobu-san had grumbled about something – Minato coming in and checking on her, apparently – but other than that everything was relatively quiet. Rin gives it five minutes before Kushina or Minato comes downstairs to get things lively again.

She's not sure which of them went to go finally check on Kakashi, but judging by the way Kushina had wanted absolutely nothing to do with the three of them for "at least four hours, kid, let me breathe," and the absence of a slamming door waking her up, it was probably Minato. 

A loud bang echoes through the house, followed by the faint cussing generally accompanying stubbing a toe. 

It was definitely Minato who went to go cry on Kakashi.

Kushina stomps into the living room, her hair a tangled and foreboding cloud. Rin smiles innocently as Kushina sees her and groans. 

Kushina stares at her for an uncomfortable length of time, probably because she’s still half asleep, but Rin isn’t all that bothered. Kakashi pulls the same prolonged staring bit on her and Obito so often, she’s practically immune to it. 

Finally, Kushina seems to come to a decision. Shaking her head, she sighs and stalks up to Rin, taking her face into her hands.

“You’re too cute to be mad at,” she accuses, then leans in and squishes her cheeks. “Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you aren’t adorable.”

Rin waits until Kushina releases her and stumbles into the kitchen to say, “Technically I never passed 15, so I’m still plenty young.”

“Don’t remind me about depressing shit this early in the morning,” Kushina calls back, trudging into the living room a second later cradling a full cup of tea.

The two of them sit in silence as Kushina slowly stirs in her usual two spoonfuls of sugar. Rin peacefully turns the page of one of her favorite novels she’d brought from her apartment.

Kushina takes a sip of her tea, and hums in content.

Rin slams her book onto the cushion next to her.

“Goddamnit!”

Kushina smirks. “For some reason, I was so tired last night that I switched the sugar and the salt right after you went to bed. Thanks for switching them back for me, it would have been terrible if I forgot!”

Rin pouts and crosses her arms. “Fuck.”

Kushina lets out a laugh. “Oh my god, it sounds so wrong when you curse. This is great!”

Primly, Rin picks her book up again. “I’ll just have to employ Kakashi’s help, next time.”

Kushina eyes her over her steaming mug. “I still think you’re pulling my leg on that one. There’s no way Mr. Stick-in-the-mud grew a sense of humor.”

Rin snorts. “Just wait until Obito pulls off one of _his_ terrible jokes. You’ll probably smack him.”

Kushina goes misty eyed at that. “I can do that again, can’t I?” She smiles into her tea.

Pausing, Rin takes in her companion’s honest joy, and her heart swells. Quietly, Isobu radiates contentment at her, happy that their new friends are well cared for.

A sniffling Minato trudges through the living room, heading for the hallway.

“What’s up with you, lover boy? Weren’t you going to go grab the boy wonder?” Kushina asks.

Minato turns towards her, tears in his eyes. “He hates me, Kushina. He thinks I’m smelly, and he’d rather spend all of his time with Mikoto instead of me.” He whimpers. “I think he’s going through puberty!”

Rin and Kushina share a conspiratorial look, then burst into laughter.

“Kakashi will probably love you again after you take a shower, sensei,” Rin gasps, clutching at her chest. Isobu-san’s soft snickering isn’t helping at all.

“Plus, I’m sure that Mikoto will kick him back to you in no time. She doesn’t deal well with brats – you know that,” Kushina wheezes, trying not to spill her tea on herself.

Minato sniffs sadly, then turns away to presumably take a shower.

Kushina tilts her head to the side, thinking. “I wonder why Mikoto went looking for Kakashi?”

Rin squints, then shrugs. “Probably because of something Sharingan related.”

Kushina nods at that, turning back to her tea.

A short while later, she perks up. "What _did_ you end up doing to pretty boy's whole look?"

Rin smirks. "Oh, we had just finished chatting with Tobirama-sama. Kakashi had wanted to talk about the Hiraishin, I had mentioned that sensei also knew how to use it, and Obito's had personal experience in abrupt hair recoloring."

Kushina is on the edge of her seat, her face half horrified half gleeful. "Did you?"

"We did. We bleached it. A little bit of lipstick later, and Tobirama-sama's shorter, fluffier clone was born. It was glorious."

"Mm, that certainly does sound... _interesting_ , Rin-chan," an unfamiliar voice speaks up from the front door. "I believe I may have made a slight miscalculation."

"Mikoto!" Kushina jumps up, looking slightly guilty.

Paling, Rin whirls around, spotting an unconcerned Kakashi next to Kushina's Uchiha friend. Kushina's Uchiha friend who just heard her say something Rin really doesn't want to explain. She hisses.

"Kakashi!" 

"Yo, Rin. Thoughts on letting Mikoto in on the secret?"

Kushina and Mikoto both turn to stare at Kakashi incredulously, mouthing a dumbfounded "Yo?" at each other in utter confusion.

Rin seethes. "I think that it's a little late for that, Ba-ka-shi."

Kakashi lazily puts a hand over his heart. "Ouch. That hurts me, Rin, it really does." He waves his other hand in Mikoto's direction, completely missing the gravity of the situation. "Anyways, she's convinced that Obito's alive, and I don't want to deal with running interference on that. Plus, she's scary, so you'll probably get along just fine. You already told Kushina, after all."

Rin glowers fiercely at Kakashi, turns towards Mikoto, rolls her book into a better shape for threatening, and stomps up to the Uchiha. Shoving the book out in front of her like it’s a weapon, she glares. "Why are you looking for Obito?"

Mikoto hardens, meeting Rin's suspicions head on. "I am looking for him because there is a possibility that he may be alive. He is a good boy, and if I don't do everything I could to help him, then I will never be able to forgive myself."

"If you got him back, what would you do with him?" Rin presses.

"I would ask him to babysit Itachi again, for one thing," Mikoto says wryly. "I trust him far more than some of the pushier members of my clan when it comes to being my son's role model. I have a feeling that it might be a difficult thing to ask, however."

Rin can't keep it in any longer. She lets out a giggle. "A good boy. I wonder if this is where he got it from."

Kakashi pipes up before Mikoto can round on Rin for implying Obito is anything other than the sweetest of boys, "Actually, we can probably figure something out."

Everyone turns to look at him.

"How? Rin made it sound like he wasn't planning on coming back to Konoha, when she explained it to me," Kushina asks.

"Explained what, exactly? Why wouldn't Obito want to come back?" Mikoto demands.

After an imploring pout from Kakashi, Rin sighs. "Time travel."

"Obito's not really all that thrilled with the way Hidden Villages and their political schemes are being run, so asking him to come back as a shinobi in any capacity would be a recipe for disaster," Kakashi drawls. "On the other hand, he also gets bored and lonely at the drop of a hat and can probably be convinced to visit occasionally if he can wear a disguise and can see us. Or a baby. For some reason, he really likes kids."

"Probably because he thinks they're cute," Rin grumbles, making a face. Babies and small children are to be avoided at all costs, in her expert opinion. "If he does want to help babysit, he's going to need a disguise. It'll have to be as an Uchiha, since he'll be babysitting Itachi. Tobi's probably out, since he's going to use it later with his cloud friends."

"He's still procrastinating on that," Kakashi volunteers ruefully. "When I brought it up he just avoided the topic, even though he’s stalling on the Madara thing."

Rin groans and drags a hand over her face. "I'll talk some sense into him. He had way too much fun with them last time, there's no way he _won't_ miss them if he lets them slip away, which is what they’ll do if he waits too long because of some petty misgivings."

"Ukki. His undercover name shall be Uchiha Ukki," Kakashi declares, and Rin throws her book at him.

"After your damn plant?" she rages.

"Mr. Ukki was a delight. Obito should be honored to share a cover with such a highly recognized namesake," Kakashi sniffs disdainfully, catching her projectile.

"Your oh-so-revered plant would have died the week you got it if Tenzō hadn't felt bad for it."

Mikoto, finally having gathered herself from Rin's elegant explanation of "time travel", leans against Kushina, who's focused on Rin and Kakashi's bickering with rapt attention. "It would be difficult to slip in an Uchiha who's completely new and simultaneously fifteen years old. People would talk."

Kakashi shakes his head, carefully unbending Rin's book. "Not if he's just another Uchiha back from a long term mission, still undercover but loyal to his family name to the point that not going back to the District even for his short breaks would be unthinkable. Uchiha Ukki wouldn't exist, but he wouldn't have to because everyone knows that he doesn't."

"But he would do it?" she asks, sincere hope in her tone and no further objections in sight. 

Rin and Kakashi both nod. 

"After he thinks it over, I'm almost certain that he'll say yes," Rin allows.

"Kid Itachi is too cute for him to pass up on," Kakashi confirms. "Too squishy. Also, he can also explain what happened to you - if he wants to."

Mikoto narrows her eyes. "Why can't you two explain right now?"

In response, Kakashi calmly removes the booksleeve from the cover of Rin's book and promptly buries his nose in its pages.

A beat of silence.

Then, "Kakashi, what on earth are you reading?! Where did you _get that_?"

Minato, freshly cleaned, comes barreling down the stairs, his hair dripping as he tries to snatch Rin's book out of Kakashi's hands. The young boy ducks under his scandalized grab and holds out the book so everyone can see the scantily clad couple on the front cover.

"It's Rin's," he says innocently.

Minato flounders visibly, then draws himself up sternly, gearing up for a Serious Responsibilities Talk.

Kushina drops a fist into her open palm. "Now I get it!" She turns to Mikoto. "He's become a _troll_!"

 

* * *

 

Thanks to Minato's inelegant arrival at the Hatake Compound this morning, Obito had disappeared in an abrupt whirl of Kamui. He had been so abrupt in his departure after sensing his ex-teacher outside of the house, he hadn't even bothered to shove Kakashi off of his legs before he left. Because of this, Kakashi had woken up to his ass of a teammate vanishing literally right out from under him and a particularly pungent Minato hovering just outside. Which had been just great.

The day had continued to get even better, with Mikoto making a surprise reappearance and Minato insisting on clinging to him. After his teacher had left, he'd had to provide stilted, meaningless conversation that would in no way worry the ANBU monitoring him, since Mikoto proved to be just as sadistic as she is ruthless. Watching him flounder to make polite conversation was probably her way of getting back at him for something, Kakashi's sure of it.

When he and his chaperone entered Kushina's house and a particularly incriminating conversation, it was something of a relief. It meant asking Rin about letting Mikoto in on the secret got a hell of a lot easier for him, even if Mikoto's bound to be curious after she gets the low-down. It's not his job to explain everything to her, though, so an appropriate amount of confusing bickering between himself and Rin does nicely to shut down any possibility of him doing extra work.

Getting Rin into trouble with Minato is just icing on the cake, as Obito would say (the sugar fiend that he is).

At least Minato finally doesn't reek anymore, and Mikoto bowed out shortly after he showed up again. Hm, does she not like him? If Minato’s been bugging the Uchiha about letting Kakashi keep his eye like he remembers hearing about the first time, it might make sense that she doesn't want to deal with him any more than she has to.

Minato is currently listing out activities he wants the four of them to do today, every single one of which Kakashi would object to immediately even if he wasn't portraying his bratty eleven year old self. Honestly, flower picking? In the middle of a war?

Kushina has been herding them into the kitchen as Minato rambles, rolling her eyes at some of his more... _out there_ ideas, so Kakashi's pretty sure that she's not going to let her husband drag them into anything too painful. 

Rin's still ignoring him because of his stunt with her book as they putt around the kitchen helping Kushina put together breakfast (after confining Minato to the table, since no one wants a repeat of the last time he tried to cook), and Kakashi uses his adorable baby fat to his advantage.

Minato actually pauses his babbling, which is impressive, but more importantly Rin scowls in annoyance. She makes a noise of disgust and shoves at Kakashi's shoulder, but she's careful not to push too hard. Minato and Kushina are both staring in disbelief at Rin's display of anger, but Kakashi just puts more sparkle behind his puppy-eye. 

Rin cracks. "Fine!" she snaps, throwing her hands up. "Fine, I'm not mad at you. Just, put that away. It’s deadly."

Kakashi eye-smiles at her, grabs a plate of food, and loudly places it in front of Minato. 

The jounin startles, and Kakashi blinks up at him, projecting cool indifference. "Ah, Kakashi? Are you... feeling okay?"

Kushina stifles a laugh.

"Reasonably," he replies, letting a hint of his usual drawl peak through just to make the man squirm.

"That's... good," Minato sweats, and Kushina drops the rest of breakfast onto the table to put him out of his misery. 

Minato reaches for his tea, and Rin and Kushina share conspiratorial glances as he adds in some sugar. Kushina glances over at Kakashi, casually.

"Aren't you going to have some tea? I thought you were all about being an adult, these days."

Kakashi hums quietly, which gets another shocked look out of Minato, and shakes his head. "All of that caffeine will stunt my growth. I need to grow into the 181 cm I was always meant to be."

Minato stalls, his cup halfway to his lips. "That's very specific, Kakashi."

Kakashi inclines his head. "I aim for complete transparency in various aspects of my life. I would never purposefully obfuscate something as trivial as my height, just because I was actually 180 cm."

Rin coughs, chocking on her rice.

Minato looks at her, worried, but Rin waves a somewhat frantic hand to placate him. Bewildered, he sits back and finally takes a sip of his tea. He spits it out immediately, most of it landing on his breakfast. "What?"

Kakashi subtly holds up a finger at Rin, who puts a restraining hand on Kushina’s arm to keep her from laughing out loud.

He turns to Minato. "Is something wrong, sensei?"

Minato blushes bright red, and splutters, "The, um, sorry! I thought my tea tasted a bit funny, that's all."

Kakashi holds out his hands impatiently, barely waiting for the confused blond to hand it over before he grabs it and takes a large sip. He waits for a moment, letting the tension build. Then, "You usually put in more sugar." He matter-of-factly shoves the tea back at Minato and takes a calm bite of his food. Minato blinks, stunned, and robotically moves to put more sugar into his tea.

Across the table, Rin and Kushina are both shaking with barely concealed laughter.

Minato takes another tentative sip. "Eugh," he whispers, staring in morose betrayal at his cup.

Kushina bursts out laughing, and Rin giggles so hard she falls off her chair. Minato, still gripping onto his salty tea, looks utterly lost. Kakashi smirks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Minato just disappears and reappears in Kushina's house (and his, technically) without warning. Kushina's used to it.
> 
> Rin is the source of Kakashi's porn addiction, read it and weep. Kushina loves her pranks, and is indiscriminate as to who she hits. She's so good at pranking, her counter prank doubles as a regular prank. Rin's impressed, and Kakashi's willing to drink a mouthful of salty tea to play along. (Salt and sugar do not smell the same, and to think that they could get their trick past his nose was foolish.)
> 
> Obito's height is listed as both 180cm and 182cm, on top of the 175cm Tobi apparently has. The boy's a mess, and probably wears special 2cm heightening sandals to make himself taller than Kakashi.
> 
> Again, no Obito. Now that I've thrown a couple more characters into the mix, we're not always going to be able to catch up with everyone from the main gang in a single chapter.
> 
> If I make it all the way to chap 12 with the update schedule as frequent as it currently is, there may be lag between that and the next chapter posting. I haven't been in a really good writing swing lately, but I'll try to keep at least a chapter in reserve for you guys, in case a chapter starts taking TOO long.


	10. Revelations (Both Good and Sad)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Seven procrastinates, Rin and Kakashi get another round of teasing in, Obito reconnects with the present, Rin has a confrontation she wishes she didn't have to, and two time travelers reflect on the immediate future. Hugs are had, tears are shed, and sometimes you have to hurt before you can heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I don't hate Minato. Yes, there is slight angst in this story. Slight mood whiplash ahead.

 

**Procrastination: Not Just For the Recently Un-Deceased**

 

 

Kakashi doesn’t know how he ended up here. Well, he does, he just can’t believe that he actually went along with it. Judging by Minato and Rin’s surprised looks, they didn’t think he would either. Still, believing or not doesn’t change the fact that, right now, he’s in the middle of one of Konoha’s lower level training grounds really picking flowers. Well, weeds.

He guesses it's peaceful, and normally he wouldn't even mind getting a quiet moment to himself, but... But this is a by-the-Sage mission. Minato had filled out the form. Vaguely, Kakashi can remember a long standing D-Rank that consisted of clearing out any of the pre-marked training grounds. Minato had called it training when he explained to Kakashi, since he no doubt thought that there was no way he'd play along otherwise, and he said it was a team bonding exercise when Rin had asked on their way over. Kakashi's pretty sure that it's just a convenient way for him to avoid coming into contact with someone he doesn't want to see, which, given Minato's weird protective streak, includes everyone right now.

He hasn't been on this side of a D-Rank since forever, and he is _not_ thrilled at the reminder.

Since he can, Kakashi spends most of his time glaring at Minato. Across the field from him, he's sure that Rin's using the quiet to talk with the Sanbi, indiscriminately uprooting everything she comes across. 

The rest of the day is filled with similarly pointless things, hiking up the Hokage Mountain for lunch, sequestering themselves to the library afterwards. They finish up at Ichiraku's on Kushina's insistence. If Minato hadn't dragged them around without actually explaining anything, Kakashi might have even called it a pleasant experience, spending so much uninterrupted time with people he cares about. As it is, he's still glaring daggers at a Minato who’s been getting more and more twitchy throughout the day after hours of Kakashi's non-stop disapproval. 

Rin elbows Kakashi in the side as Kushina distracts Minato, the four of them perched on stools that haven't changed since the last time Kakashi had sat on them, some thirty years in the future.

"I know that typically 'you' would be pissed about wasting a perfectly good training day, but this is a little too far even for that. What gives?"

Kakashi takes his time answering her, shoving his entire order of ramen into his mouth at light speed. It's faster than he used to eat at this age, but hey, old habits die hard when they're not life-threatening. Mask back in place, Kakashi turns to Rin and shrugs.

"Obito didn't think he ever really missed him," he says, carefully conversational.

Rin frowns at this, but still looks confused. "And you're glaring at him because of this?"

Kakashi shrugs again. "In part. Sensei needs to learn how to express his feelings for other people better – this entire day was a travesty. Getting back at him for a major insecurity Obito hid for basically all of his life is just a bonus."

Rin considers, then nods. Immediately afterwards, she smirks. "And it has nothing to do with your sudden and unexpected return to D-Rank missions, I'm sure."

Kakashi inclines his head gravely. "Of course. D-Ranks are a highly important and necessary experience every young ninja must complete in order to learn the highly specific skills and teamwork required from them during higher ranked missions."

Rin shudders. "I can't tell if that was a direct quote from the Konoha Handbook or if it's complete bullshit you made up just now, and that's kind of frightening."

Kakashi eye-smiles at her. "You learn a lot of things as a jounin-sensei, Rin."

Rin smacks the back of his head. "That didn't help!"

"Hey!" Minato cuts in, his tone starting sharp and quickly derailing into nervous when Rin and Kakashi simultaneously turn towards him. It's obvious that he's not used to them being so in synch. "You - how's your food?" he flounders.

They both shrug, again simultaneously. Rin must be more on board with Kakashi's 'subtly torment Minato' plan than she lets on, because she's not helping him out at all. Probably because she's done the most work out of all of them on getting Obito to face and overcome his problems, and she now knows that the person she has easy access to right now set a lot of ground work for some of his deeper issues. 

Kakashi's not all that angry with the man himself, but he knows that he should have taken a vastly different approach to handling Obito and his many problems, just like he knows that Obito himself won't ever do anything about it because it's one of the few things he's actually insecure about. Logically, it falls to Kakashi (and Rin, if she wants in) to recompense his teacher for the oversight.

Oblivious to the (somewhat alarming) tangent Kakashi's thoughts had taken, Minato looks around, trying his best to find something to break the strangling quiet with. He blinks when he sees Kakashi's empty bowl next to Rin's barely touched one. "Were you hungry, Kakashi?"

Making direct eye contact, Kakashi silently raises one shoulder in a brusque shrug. Minato wilts visibly, and Kakashi relents. "Not really."

Minato's smile does something weird as he tries to figure out what Kakashi's actually saying. "But you already ate all of your dinner?"

"Really sensei," Rin scoffs, "he always eats like that."

Minato's smile gets more strained the more confused they make him, but Kushina interrupts before he does anything interesting. "Why?"

Kakashi locks eyes with her over Minato's shoulder, doing his best 'shy' impression. "I'm saving my face for marriage."

Both adults look absolutely gobsmacked at that. It's a far cry from his preteen aggressive avoidance of anything related to his mask, and every time he pulls something new it never fails to throw them for a loop.

"Speaking of marriage; Rin?" Kakashi swivels on his booth seat to face his no longer quietly angry teammate. "Does that book of yours have any sequels? I never got to find out if Hanako and Tsubayashi ever managed to make it official."

Minato gasps as Rin lights up, always eager to talk about her books with someone who _understands_. 

He's not going to stop them from talking, since it's the first time Kakashi's ever shown any interest in something other than yet more training, and it's clear that Minato had wanted them to focus on bonding today. Kakashi and Rin take full advantage of this, loudly discussing Rin's adult romance novel in public as Minato's face grows steadily redder and redder in embarrassment. The other people around them are starting to stare, incredulous, and Kushina is dying of silent laughter behind Minato's back. At least she's got the right idea here.

When they finally leave Ichiraku's, Kakashi nods at his small family. "I'm going back to the Hatake Compound."

"Again?" Minato asks, his concern poorly hidden. "Is there something personal you still need to do there?"

Kakashi dead-eyes his overbearing puppy of a teacher. "Even if there wasn't, I still need to fix the door you broke this morning."

Minato freezes, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Oh, that! I could -"

Kushina bops him on the arm lightly. "I think you've done enough, pretty boy. I'll go with the brat to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid - I mean, to make sure the family seals on the door aren't dangerous now that they're damaged."

Minato gazes lovingly at his wife. "You'd do that for me?"

Kushina grins and presses her lips to his cheek. "Of course I would, you big nerd."

Rin raises her eyebrows and makes a kissy face at Kakashi, who snorts. She waves at him as Kushina grabs his shoulder and drags him down the road, away from the familiar ramen stand.

Too used to his pack doing the same thing, Kakashi doesn't bother to fight her iron grip. "...are you actually going to fix the privacy seals on the door?"

Kushina glances over at him, completely uncaring about the wide berth everyone on the street is giving them. "Yeah, of course. It would suck if you managed to get yourself blown up by a busted seal right after you finally got the stick out of your ass." 

After a moment of consideration, Kakashi decides that she's being genuine. She's also not saying that she wants to hang out around him to see what future-business he's probably about to do, since both of them know that would freak out the ANBU watching him, but he knows that she's more interested in that than his door. Since their assignment is almost up and Kakashi'll be free of even more eavesdroppers than normal by this time tomorrow, tipping his hand now would be beyond stupid.

If they restore the seals first under the guise of making sure they're not going to detonate randomly like some of the more volatile seals do when they're compromised, he could probably get Obito to see her. From what he can tell, there wasn't any bad blood between them despite all of the yelling matches they always got into. Getting him to reconnect with the living versions of the people they once knew should be a good way to better anchor him in this present, to remind him that he cares about some of the people here.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi is early today, which is weird. Well, early for Kakashi - he's only thirty minutes late, but Obito still hesitates, choosing to stay half-hidden in kamui. The idiot isn’t alone.

The first time he had seen Kushina after finally saving Kakashi that last time, she had smacked him so hard he'd fallen down, helped him up, and hadn't let go of him for a week. She'd been berating him for his stupid decisions the whole time, but she'd cried almost as much as Obito had. It was hard enough to reconcile with her then; Obito doesn't know if he could handle trying it with this younger Kushina, who doesn't know what he's done. Would have done? Has would do? Ugh, tenses are useless. Meeting with Kushina is not something he's too keen on right now, that's all.

Kakashi, like usual, doesn't seem to get that. After he and his unwelcome guest mess around with the door for some reason, the shortstack herds an amused looking Kushina inside. Obito, invisible, glares at the back of his head.

Kakashi squints and shuffles around to look into a few rooms before he gives up and sighs, resigned. Kushina's still here, relaxing against the front door and watching Kakashi act like an idiot. Said idiot closes his eye, turns sharply in Obito's direction, and stalks forward. Obito, a little preoccupied by Kakashi's newest stunt he's no doubt using his Sharingan for, doesn't have the thought to back away through the wall before it's too late.

Obito's never been yanked through two layers of reality at once before, but now that Kakashi's decided to be an ass, he never wants to experience the sensation again.

Landing on the floor with a thump, Obito groans out a curse and curls himself around Kakashi's legs, just to be cumbersome. "Stop doing that, you jerk!"

Kakashi looks down his nose at Obito as he tries unsuccessfully to extract his legs from Obito's grasp. "I have no idea what you're talking about. I've never done that before."

Obito tries to unwrap Kakashi's leg wrap in retaliation. "Exactly! Stop pulling new techniques out of thin air!"

His silver haired teammate feigns ignorance. "But pulling things out of thin air isn't a new technique, Obito. You're the one who did it first, so you of all people should know that."

Obito glares up at Kakashi, deliberately forming the seals for a kanton jutsu he's suddenly decided will work much better in his quest to mess with his captive legs.

"Ah-ah-ah," Kushina swoops in, hauling Obito off of Kakashi and onto his own two feet. "I came here to help prevent an explosion, and that's what I'm going to do."

Obito freezes, caught up by the scruff of his neck like a misbehaving kitten. He is in no way prepared for this. Kushina scrutinizes him for a gut-wrenching moment.

"How likely are you to betray Konoha, kill me and my husband, try to kill my future kid, and start the Fourth Great Shinobi War?"

"Um, not at all?" Obito squeaks. "I mean, Rin would probably deck me if she thought I was going down that path again, and Kakashi would pout at me, and -"

Kushina cuts him off by enveloping him in a fierce hug. It's unbelievably warm, and Obito is stunned speechless. Over his head, he hears Kushina sniff, and like that he's gone. There's no way he could have stopped the tears from dripping down his face, even if he wanted to. He just, he missed her. She had been such an unstoppable force of determination the first time, had always taken his rants about how he was going to become Hokage seriously. Even when Minato would blow him and Rin off in training, Kushina always had time for him and his boisterous claims; he'd been able to get some of that back in the Pure Land, but it was always different. Probably because he was the reason she wasn't there to help Naruto grow up.

Now, caught up in strong arms that showed no hesitation and no sign of letting go as both of them cried with relief, Obito's surprised to find that he's not all that upset about being dumped in the past. Sure, it's still going to be a pain in the ass, but... maybe there are some good things that'll come out of it. Maybe some of them even exist in Konoha, despite everything wrong with the place.

"I told you to come back safe, you utter brat," she sniffs into his hair, and Obito laughs.

It's watery and muffled, but strong. He doesn't know why Rin and Kakashi decided to bring Kushina into this, but he's definitely warming up to the idea.

Doesn't mean he's not ticked at Kakashi, though.

If he stays curled up in Kushina's embrace for the rest of their visit, then it's nobody's business but his.

 

* * *

 

The walk home is uncomfortably silent without Kushina's customary chatter to breathe some life into the tense atmosphere between Rin and himself. Minato knows that his students are mad at him about something, but he isn't sure what. They hadn't bothered being too subtle in their jabs and teasing throughout the day, and while it's a new form of expression he hasn't seen from them yet, their underlying irritation isn't too hard to pick out.

Nervous about Kakashi even though Kushina is with him, Minato putts around the living room for a while before settling in an armchair across from Rin's position on the couch. He's been on edge all day, and while he can't get an answer from both of his students right now, he can at least ask Rin. If they've gotten as close as it seems after what the upper echelons of Konoha's political minds are calling ‘The Kiri Incident’, then it's very likely that both of them are upset about the same thing.

Settling himself, Minato gets down to business.

"What's on your mind?"

Rin glances up at him from the open novel in her lap, regarding him for a heavy moment. "It's not nothing, but it can wait until afterwards."

Minato frowns. Putting off dealing with issues tends to just make them worse, he's learned. "After what? Rin, if it's important, it shouldn't wait."

"Until after the war," Rin says sharply. "It can wait until then, since it won't do us any good to talk about it now."

Putting on his best stern teacher look, Minato presses on. "If it's weighing so heavily on your mind, then it really can't. If we wait until the end of the war, we may not be able to talk about it." One of them could easily die before the fighting stops.

Rin rolls her shoulders, her expression briefly contrite before it's swept under a cool and composed mask. "Fine." She shuts her book and tucks it by her side, turning to face Minato head on. "The issue is, _this_ , Minato-sensei."

Minato blinks, taken aback. "This?"

Steady eyes lock onto his, completely serious. "Yes. It took the loss of one of your team and the perceived loss of the other two before you finally started to show you cared."

Stunned, Minato can't find the words he knows won't come. 

"Not towards Kakashi, you've always been able to convey how much he means to you. Towards me and Obito," Rin continues, quietly. There's steel in her voice, but she doesn't sound angry. "This is the only time you've ever pressed me about what’s on my mind. You've never asked Obito, even when he was really struggling."

Minato can remember those days, when he was too unsure of how to help Obito overcome his numerous personal challenges. He hadn't been able to think of any way to help, and he had felt bad at the time. Now, he feels useless.

Rin takes in his stricken composure, and something close to regret flashes over her face. "He thought you didn't like us," she says, and it feels like a condemnation. "That the only reason you took us on was because you wouldn't have gotten Kakashi if you hadn’t. Sometimes, I believed him."

It hits him like a physical blow. He _had_ been excited to finally become a jounin sensei, but... but he'd always seen it as filling in the rest of his team, rather than getting a completely new one. He's always had issues with sincerity in the past, but he hadn't thought that they would spill over to his students. Now that it clearly has, he doesn't know what to say.

What can he say, when it's all true? When he's the reason his students didn't feel comfortable as a team, the reason they failed more than they succeeded? When _he_ failed them?

Rin sets her feet on the floor with an audible thump, speaking when Minato jerks back out of his thoughts to see her again. "You are not the reason we lost Obito, but you did play a major role in his actions that led up to that moment."

Minato feels like crying, but he can't bring himself to actually let go. 

Rin picks up her book. "You have more impact on our lives than you realize, and it's already cost us dearly. Now that you know, don't let it happen again."

She steadily levers herself up from the couch and walks out of the living room, leaving Minato alone, thoughts chasing themselves in endless loops and unshed tears swimming in his eyes.

When Kushina and Kakashi come home hours later, he still hasn't been able to move, too busy thinking of everything he should have done. He barely notices Kakashi's knowing glance and the way he nudges Kushina forward before following in Rin's footsteps, moving deeper into the house. 

Kushina wraps her arms around him, and he clings to her for comfort. "I, it was my fault. She didn't say it, but it's true. If I had been a better teacher, if I had paid more attention, then maybe... maybe it wouldn't have happened like this."

Instead of answering his distracted babbling, Kushina tightens her grip, burying her head in Minato's hair. 

"...it's all my fault."

"It is not!" Kushina snaps. "I refuse to believe that every single terrible thing that happened to our kids originated solely from you. It's beyond idiotic to think that, and you're too smart to be acting this dumb, Minato."

Minato grips at her sleeves. "I didn't... I never showed them I cared, Kushina. I was supposed to be their guide, their mentor that they could trust and look to for help, and they didn't think that I _cared_."

"Then show them now. You can't change what you’ve already done, but you have every right to your own agency. If you don't like the way you acted in the past, then change it now. Talk to Rin more, don't let Kakashi get away with his bullshit, tell Obito..." Kushina pauses. "Tell Obito how you really feel, when you're ready. In the meantime, don't forget him. He's still right here with us, you know." 

Minato doesn't break down crying, but he and Kushina don't move for the rest of the night.

 

* * *

 

"Did you -" 

"Yes." 

Kakashi gives Rin an undiscernible look. "He's not going to thank you for it."

Rin sighs and roughly drags a hand through her hair. "I know. It had to be said, though; this way, sensei knows where he went wrong. He can start to make amends."

Kakashi lets it go, turning to make a pile of blankets on the floor, and Rin is grateful. She tosses the pillows from Kushina's guest bed onto the pile, wrestling the sheets off next. It's handy that Kakashi spent so much time here as a kid - it means that he knows where all the extra linen is.

 Isobu-san had been very worried by her earlier confrontation, and it took a very long time for her to convince her partner that Minato wasn't really all that bad, that he just made a few poor judgement calls and never quite realized the consequences. She doesn't want to be angry with him. She has far too many good memories of their time together, and even if he never treated her like Kakashi, he still made her feel welcome. Still, she had done it for Obito, who would never have said anything even though he's the one who had been hurt the most by Minato's thoughtless favoritism. She shakes herself.

"How did it go with your extra tag-along?" Rin asks, wanting a new topic of conversation to distract herself with.

Kakashi immediately snorts, which is a good sign. "It went exactly as I expected it to. He was reluctant to show his face at first, but spent the rest of the time practically glued to her. If we hadn't told him about Mikoto's babysitting plan and how he could use that to see her more, I think he might have actually tried to take her back with him."

Rin shakes her head, a wry smile on her lips. They both know that Obito wouldn't do something as foolhardy as that, but he most certainly _would_ sulk fiercely in kamui without them there to stop him. "I take it that means he's on board with coming back to watch over Itachi every once in a while?"

Kakashi shrugs out of his sword harness and tosses it to land with the rest of his gear next to the growing pile, much more impressive now that Rin's managed to dump an entire bed's worth of blankets into it. "He said, 'Sure, maybe this way I can get him to be less of a stick in the mud'. I think that he's trying to iron out an inherently Uchiha trait, so it's probably not going to work. Kushina agrees with me."

Rin squints, casting her memory back. "Is it because Itachi's cute as a kid? I don't think he liked him much when they were in that club of his."

"One of these days, I will pay you good money to call it that to his face while he's with someone from his 'club'," Kakashi snickers, throwing himself onto their pile. "And all Uchiha are adorable as kids - it's when they grow up that's the issue."

Rin hums as she burrows her way into the cool sheets next to Kakashi. "I'll take your word for it."

The two of them settle in for the night, but it's difficult without Obito's typically sprawling limbs leeching away their body heat. The lack makes them restless, and it's almost worse than sleeping alone.

"We're not going to be able to do this for a while, are we?" Rin asks, but she already knows the answer.

"Last time around, I had already been shipped out by now. I can't imagine that Minato managed to do anything he couldn't back then when I've got even less of a reason to be held back from field work," Kakashi reports, blankly.

"Damn. This was probably the last day together we're going to get with the war still on," Rin sighs. "Do you think it'll be easier for him to check up on you out in whatever battlefield you're sent out to, or on me? I'll still be here, since nobody's going to want me leaving for quite some time, but they are still going to be monitoring me once I start my training."

"Is it official, then?" Kakashi asks, propping his hands behind his head. "You're going to be training under Kushina?"

"Not yet," Rin concedes, "but it's the only option they have that isn't to kill me. They've already waited this long and Kushina would kick up such a mess if they were going to go through with that, so they're not going to do that. Most likely, Minato's going to have a serious talk with us in the morning to tell you you're being sent off again and that I'm banned from leaving."

Kakashi doesn't have anything to say to that, and Rin can't blame him. They stare up at the ceiling together. Sleep is a long way off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minato is the type of person to smile at everything, no matter how he actually feels. This occasionally leads to issues (aka, this chapter was a pain to write, and I took it out on you guys. sorry (๑•́ ヮ •̀๑) Also, I've been talking with writingforFUNandbecauseBoredom about him, and I couldn't get rid of it after that!)
> 
> The mission Team Seven 'went on' at the start of this chapter wasn't actually a mission - Minato never filed the paperwork, since he's trying to keep his kids away from ninja responsibilities at the moment. He also knows that, if he didn't frame it like an official mission, (baby)Kakashi would never have agreed to come.
> 
> Rin absolutely cannot stand young children. If you're not in the double didgets, she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Obito, on the other hand, adores children - mostly for the blank, untainted slates they represent, but also because he thinks they're all utterly adorable. Kakashi doesn't really care - he's leery around infants and wouldn't want a kid for himself, but other than that he's neutral.
> 
> If you have any questions or see any errors, please let me know! The next chapter is much more lighthearted! And it's also all about Obito. Oops. It has old folks and young folks, one granny OC and three minor(ish) characters!


	11. The Obito Show (Starring Obito)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obito interrupts his planning for the immediate future to make a grudging house call, runs into an old friend, has a not so informative talk with his aunt, and babysits. Vegetables are spilled, faces are squished, and bad influences are introduced. Despite their best efforts, there's still a spark of life left in the Uchiha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love him, but Obito is still an asshole. You might notice him being not so much of a nice guy because of this. Mikoto likes Obito's teammates a lot less than she lets on, so don't let her attitude towards them startle you.
> 
> Retsu is my super rad grandma OC and legally you all have to love her.

 

**Small Children and Old People, My Only Two Weaknesses**

 

 

Yet again, Obito has run into another conundrum because of Zetsu. He could take out the clone keeping an eye on Konoha for any sign of his return, but that would immediately alert the sentient weed to the stranger on-goings within Konoha. Strange on-goings like the miraculous return of Nohara Rin and Hatake Kakashi, last seen in the company of one Uchiha Obito when he pulled his disappearing stunt on the plant in the first place. If he leaves the clone alone, though, he'll have time to at least investigate his teammates' return, and maybe try to kidnap one or both of them to lure Obito back to Madara once they get tired of searching fruitlessly for him.

No, he needs to get rid of him. Zetsu'll be on the lookout, but that's fine, Obito can just lead him on a wild goose chase until Rin's ready to finally do something interesting again. While he's there, he may as well drop by the Uchiha District and save his friends from Mikoto-obaa-san. Ugh, just the thought of that place makes his skin crawl, but Rin's been very clear that he needs to make new and positive memories to help combat all of the bad ones he has of his childhood home. In his opinion, killing off his clan isn't really a bad memory as a whole, but since both Rin and Kakashi disagree with him on that he tends to keep it to himself. Anyways, Itachi was a cute brat before he got annoying, and Obito's always been a sucker for kids.

He knows that he's not going to be able to see his friends in any real capacity, since Kakashi's probably going to be packing up and leaving to go fight in a war they've already fought before and Rin's going to be glued to Kushina's side, starting her training on how to be a jinchuuriki. Now that Kushina knows that they're from the future, kind of, Obito wonders if she'll make any progress on repairing her relationship with the Kyuubi. It probably won't do much good, but he _knows_ that Rin's going to make them try anyways. Obito's just relieved that she's got someone else as the focus of her devious plans this time - he's found that it gets nerve-wracking when she focuses her attention on you for too long, no matter how much he would have wished for it when he was actually fifteen.

It's honestly a little embarrassing how easy it is to subdue the Zetsu clone, lightly scorching him and then shoving him into one of the various body-containment scrolls littered throughout kamui. The hardest part had been finding him, since his chakra signature is nigh indistinguishable from the forest around him, and even that had only taken a couple of hours. Obito feels wasted like this, and he can't even kill his new capture to help ease his frustration. Sure, he may have gone slightly overboard when he torched the clone, but it wasn't anywhere near enough. Now that he thinks about it, Rin definitely got the better part of their kill-pact - gramps is in no condition to put up an interesting fight, and he just knows that he's going to feel awful for beating up an old person, even if that old person is Madara.

Sighing, Obito crafts the most generic Uchiha visage he can think up, and roots through the small piles of clothes he keeps stored for something with the Uchiha crest on it. It takes a while, since he never had too many to start with and because Kakashi had left the place a mess when he went tearing through Obito's cloaks looking for ink. Kakashi's apartment had always been clean whenever Obito had popped in to check on him, but now he's starting to suspect that it was due to his silver haired teammate's lack of worldly possessions as opposed to any kind of cleanliness on his part. 

He would like to be tall again, even if it's just for his disguise, but changing that much with a genjutsu is over the top and would invite more suspicion than he's planning for. He can glare at everybody he missed the chance to glare at the first time, which is the only thing he's looking forward to. Certainly, he's not looking forward to dealing with any Uchiha, not even the only aunt he ever liked. The long hair is nice, but he's wearing it more to make people talk than for personal gratification.

He is _going_ to find a way to get back at Kakashi for sticking him with the dumb alias from his poor little plant, regardless of the fact that he _knows_ he’s even more shit at coming up with fake names. 

Obito sighs and steels himself. He may as well get it over with - stalling for time by poking around kamui is just making him tempted to put it off for another day, and he's too bored to wait that long.

Kamuing into a common pit stop for recently returning shinobi, Obito steps out onto the streets of Konoha. It's strange, walking on the sidewalk in plain sight, and if he wasn't as cool as a (not yet) internationally wanted criminal could be he might even feel slightly nervous about it. Regardless of how cool he is, Obito's in no hurry to play nice with his clan just yet, so he keeps his gait slow and steady, focusing on how he's going to react once he finally makes contact with his awful family.

He nearly jumps out of his skin, a little more literally than he’s comfortable with now that he's wearing a kind of really important genjutsu, when he bumps into someone exiting a store. He's still on his feet after the light collision, but the elderly lady he just bowled over isn't. After hastily shoving the kunai he'd reflexively palmed back into his cloak, Obito crouches as fast as he can, offering his hand to help Retsu-san to her feet. 

He pauses. It _is_ Retsu-san, with her slightly purple tinted white hair and the twin cherry hair pins her late husband had bought her for their twentieth anniversary. It’s startling that he still remembers her.

A wrinkled hand grasps his, and Obito's dragged back to the present. "I'm so sorry, Retsu-san, I wasn't looking where my feet were taking me," he babbles, slowly helping her to her feet and automatically stooping again to pick up her groceries. "Your beets weren't too badly bruised, but if you want me to I can go buy you a replacement for the cabbage..."

Retsu-san cuts him off when she grabs his cheeks and squishes his face in her hands, peering intently at him. 

"R-Retsu-san? Is something wrong?" Obito has no idea what's going on.

The elderly lady appraises him a beat longer, then smiles. "No, no, nothing's the matter. In fact, I think you just helped my day become quite alright, young man." She pats his face, then lets go.

Obito's still bewildered. "Even though I made you drop your groceries?"

She chuckles. "Yes, even though you did a number on the best cabbage I could pick out."

Obito chews on his bottom lip at that, but doesn't try to ask for further clarification. Retsu-san always had been more prone to strange leaps in logic he'd never been able to follow. Finished repacking her bags, he hefts them up and automatically turns towards her usual route home. "Are you making curry tonight?"

Retsu-san takes his offered elbow and scoffs as she sets their pace. "Curry? Bah, it's too hot for curry young man. I'm making stew, of course."

Obito frowns in confusion. "But isn't stew even warmer?"

He gets a swat on his arm for his troubles. "Nonsense. Stew is great for the hotter seasons. It puts meat on the bones." Retsu-san pokes a bony finger into Obito's side, ignoring his resulting flinch. "And if you're having hankerings for winter food, I reckon that you need as much of that as you can get."

Obito tries to shuffle out of her range. "I don't need to eat - more! I'm fine eating just as much as I always have, granny."

His elderly companion eyes him critically, but retracts her finger as they move steadily closer to her house. "You'd better hope so, young man, or else I'll have to make sure you are. Forcefully."

Obito highly doubts she could, but he nods anyways. It's oddly nostalgic, helping her again, and it brings an easy grin to his face.

Retsu-san smiles at him. "Now there's an expression I haven't seen in a while."

Shrugging before he can think the action through, Obito freezes and squints at the cheery woman. "I don't know what you're talking about - I've never met you before."

Unbothered by his proclamation, she pats his elbow reassuringly. "Of course you haven't, dear." She carefully takes her bags back. "Now, don't be a stranger, stranger. If you ever feel hungry, feel free to visit me; I'll even make some curry for you, if you still feel cold." She tucks an orange lollipop into his hands, then shoos him away. 

"But you don't know me," Obito tries again, carefully cradling his sweet.

She just waves him on. "Aren't you going to be late? You'd best get going, it wouldn't do for me to take up any more of your time than I already have. May the road be quick under your feet, dear, and I hope you don't get yelled at too badly this time. There's a good boy."

She shuts her door in Obito's face, and he's left gaping on her doorstep. What on earth was she talking about? She's never seen him before, he didn’t exist before today! And he is in no way late; he hasn't been since the Zetsu clones had beaten that out of him. 

Shaking himself, Obito brushes off an imaginary layer of dirt from his clothes and heads towards the place he called home for the first decade and a half of his life. 

It’s a simple matter to convince the district guards, and again he's almost embarrassed at how easily he's able to slip past supposedly heightened security. He gets the suspicious looks he was counting on, but no one moves to intercept him while he makes his way to the Main House.

While he was walking Retsu-san home he had searched for his friends' chakra signatures, just in case he would be able to engineer a chance meeting - Rin had been active next to a similarly other-tinged Kushina, presumably just starting her jinchuuriki training, and Kakashi had been with a somewhat muted Minato over in the general area of the Hokage Tower. With nothing left to distract him from his uncomfortable family visit, Obito focuses on putting on his most constipated face as possible, walking primly down the neatly trimmed sidewalk that held more foot traffic than he remembered being usual.

Inwardly, he snorts. Uchiha. Always nosy busybodies, when they weren't being murderous traitors.

Brushing off his inner musings, Obito strolls up to the main door and knocks politely, even though he knows that there's someone already waiting for him on the other side. It's all about snide gestures masked by civility here, after all. By the Sage, seeing baby Itachi again had better be worth this.

A young boy opens the door, and Obito almost recognizes him. He's - Obito squints as he toes off his sandals - he's Itachi's friend, the fast one. Something about water. 

"Mikoto-obaa-san's been waiting for you," the kid chirps, bouncing on his feet and acting unlike any Uchiha Obito remembers. "She's in the sitting room."

"Thanks... kid," Obito says, stilted. 

"Shisui," the kid chips in, leaning into Obito's personal space. "You're not that much older than me."

"Ah! Death by water!" Obito exclaims, the name clicking into place. He was the one with the really useful Mangekyo Obito wasn't able to get!

"Rude!" Shisui gasps theatrically. "It means still water."

"Right, right," Obito waves a hand at him, not really caring. He tries to herd the curly haired kid out of his way, with little success.

"I don't recognize you," Shisui states, probably trying to glare.

"No, you don't," Obito answers unhelpfully, poking absently at the wrinkle between Shisui's eyebrows. "Don't pout like that or else your face will get stuck that way. How am I supposed to pick you out of a crowd of cousins if you look just like everyone else?"

Shisui claps his hands to his forehead, thoughtful. "You're alright, for a cousin." He rockets off deeper into the house, his complete disregard for proper house etiquette bringing a smile to Obito's face.

 

* * *

 

When the Hatake child had said that it would be possible for Obito to return home to the district, Mikoto hadn't expected his return to be any time soon. Even after five months, she cannot imagine that her lively nephew has recovered enough to make the journey confidently, especially after the Hatake and Obito's civilian raised teammate had told her about his reluctance to return to Konoha. 

She can't begin to think of what could have possibly happened to Obito that led him to abandon his lifelong dream of becoming Hokage, and she had thought that she would need to wait much longer to find out. As it seems, this hypothesis of hers has suffered the same fate as her first in regards to Obito. She wonders if it's simply a coincidence, or if it's an emerging trend.

She hears little Shisui bound over to answer the door, expecting him to bring in the stubborn group of elders she's been fighting with over the matter of Itachi's enrollment into the Academy, and sighs to herself when she hears him run back to her son instead of doing the polite thing and leading her _esteemed guests_ into the sitting room. Standing, Mikoto prepares herself to run damage control and inwardly snarls at the leverage it will give the presumptuous windbags.

Before she can reach it, the door slams open.

"Pardon the intrusion," a familiar voice calls, louder than she remembers him usually being indoors. An _un_ familiar person strides into the room, swiftly shutting the door behind him, and Mikoto stares.

The only thing she can think is, 'It's most certainly a trend,' but she most certainly can't say that out loud in polite conversation. Instead, she opens her mouth and lets something that's been weighing on her for five months to spill out. "You're late."

"I'm not late!" Obito, because it has to be, gapes. "I never even said I would be coming, how could I be late?!"

It's a good enough opener, so Mikoto puts her hands on her hips and rolls with it. "Did you help rescue a cat out of a tree today, or were you just lost on the road of life again?"

"I was helping Retsu-san bring her groceries home!" Obito immediately retorts, then scrubs his hands through his hair in irritation. "And I'm not late! Why does everyone think that?"

Mikoto waits until he shuffles closer before she reminds him, "Because more often than not, you are. Case in point, you are _five months late_ , young man. What's your reasoning behind that one?" She reaches out to pinch his cheek, the texture of his skin strange through the illusion he's wearing.

Obito pouts at her, just like he always does when she reprimands him. He doesn't react to her pinch at all, which is slightly worrying, but mulls his answer over for a few seconds before relenting. "I was helping out this really old grandpa, then I got lost on the road of life, then I died and got lost on the road of death, then I wound up back here and was trying to make a road map so I wouldn't get lost anymore."

Mikoto pinches harder, to no effect. "Really?"

The petulant glare she gets in return is all Obito, no matter how old he technically is now. "Really. Do you want me to babysit for you or not?"

Humming, Mikoto lets go of his cheek. "Yes, eventually. Right now I just want to spend some time with my nephew. Is that too much to ask?"

Obito crosses his arms defensively, looking away. "I guess not." He brightens up, turning back to face her. "You scared the shit out of Kakashi!"

"Language," Mikoto snaps. "I did, did I? How did I manage to pull that one off? From what I can tell, your Hatake seems to be too busy with himself to pay attention to those around him."

Waving away her chiding tone, Obito bounces slightly in place, always so full of energy. "Nah, that's baby Kakashi. Now that he's finally learned how to be an actual person, he's a lot more perceptive about stuff like that. Whatever you said to him after he got back really made an impression, and he's totally scared of you now."

Mikoto raises an eyebrow. She can't see that having much of an impact on her, since she doesn't really plan on interacting with her nephew's teammate all that often. "I hope that won't make things too awkward between us, for whatever few conversations we have in the future."

Obito pauses, frowning up at her. "It just means that he respects you now. He's not that bad once you get to know him, Mikoto-obaa-san. You might even like him if you give him a chance."

Pursing her lips, Mikoto debates with herself. On one hand, Hatake is the reason her nephew was so grievously injured, taking his eye and not even bringing his body back to his family. On the other hand, Obito himself was able to look past his faults, had found him worthy enough to have the honor of bearing his Sharingan, and is asking her to reconsider her stance on the boy. "Maybe," she allows.

Obito frowns at her some more, but she's not willing to relent any more than she already has on the topic; not without a damn good reason to from the Hatake boy himself. He scrunches up his face and mutters under his breath, "Stubborn."

"Steadfast," Mikoto corrects, tugging him into a brief hug.

"That would be way more commendable if we weren't talking about not hating my friend just because he has my eye," Obito quips dryly.

Mikoto blinks, stunned at how cutting he'd managed to make his remark, then pulls back. "That the Hatake boy has your eye is just one of the grievances I hold against him."

Obito sighs, as though _she_ is the one being unreasonable. "Every choice he made was that of a misguided child, led by the rules of the village you call home and the reinforcement of those above him. While his choices were not necessarily commendable, it is unfair to use them to condemn him. It would be like getting mad at the Hokage for something he did as a genin."

Now Mikoto feels slightly lost. "What do you mean by that?"

Obito resumes his fidgeting.  "I mean it's been decades since that whole ordeal went down. He's not really that boy anymore, since he's older than you."

At a loss for a proper reaction to this new information, Mikoto lets a polite mask slip over her features. "Ah."

Obito shrugs. "Yeah. Hey, you were planning on having a bunch of guests over today, right?"

"I was," Mikoto allows, warily. "Why?"

"Because there's a group of the old controlling bastards coming up to the house," Obito points in the direction of the front entrance.

Mikoto barely has time to register that her nephew, on top of becoming quite the wordsmith, is also apparently a sensor before she's biting back a slew of uncharitable words. She can't believe that she'd forgotten. Gently gripping Obito by the elbow, she leads him out into the hallway and strides towards her son's room.

She knocks twice before sliding the door open, revealing Itachi and Shisui pouring over a training manual. 

"Itachi, this is your cousin. He's going to help look after you like Obito did."

Her son looks up at her, then over at Obito to take in his new babysitter. He nods his head, as serious as ever. "Yes, mother."

Mikoto smiles at him, bending down to press a soft kiss to his forehead and a reprimanding poke to a giggling Shisui's, then straightens up. Turning to Obito, she asks, "I'm going to be in a meeting until later this afternoon, so make sure they don't eat too close to dinner time. You can watch them for that long, yes?"

"Sure! It's not like I've got a lot going on right now." Obito gives her a mock salute, which is new.  Still, he's given her his word.

Mikoto presses a kiss to his forehead too, lightning quick before she whirls towards her showdown with the clan elders. Just because he's older than her now doesn't mean that he gets out of forehead kisses.

 

* * *

 

Shisui and Itachi stare at their weird, long haired cousin. He stares back, looking like one of Shisui's typical relatives again.

He doesn't like it. His weird cousin was much more fun when he wasn't being all frown-y, and Shisui's been trying to get Itachi to leave the Fugaku-imitation to whenever he has to deal with old people. If his friend's new watchdog is constantly frowning, he feels like it'll undo a lot of his hard work.

"You’re here to make sure I'm not influenced by anyone my mother disapproves of?" Itachi tests the waters, just as serious as Shisui was hoping he wouldn't be.

Weird cousin tilts his head, then shrugs in an over exaggerated manner. "Partially, yeah." He doesn't elaborate at all, which is fine with Shisui. Talking about how Itachi's mom tries to keep Itachi away from the old people always makes him frown.

"Who're you?" he pipes up, slapping a hand over Itachi's mouth to keep him from asking about their cousin's motives.

The guy sits down suddenly, no longer looking down his nose at them. "I'm pretty sure we've already met, death-water."

"It's Shisui!" Shisui puffs out his cheeks. "And you never told me your name."

Itachi grabs Shisui's hand and moves it. "You already know both of us. It's not polite to not introduce yourself, mother said so."

Weird cousin flips his ponytail over his shoulder, an over affected put-upon look on his face. At least Shisui's not going to be fighting him to get some positive influences for making facial expressions across to his best friend. "If Mikoto-obaa-san said so, then I guess I can't argue. I'm Uchiha Ukki."

"No you're not."

"That name sucks."

Not-Ukki blinks at their dual retorts, then snickers. "Hey, take it up with my teammate. He's the one who suggested the name."

Shisui shoves himself upright, crossing his arms. " _Really_ , who are you?" Itachi perks up beside him, training manual temporarily forgotten.

Not-Ukki does something weird with his eyes and holds a finger up to his lips.  It might have been a really bad wink? "It's a secret."

"That's dumb," Itachi says before Shisui can. He's so proud.

"That's coming home for a mandatory break in a long term mission while still needing to maintain personal confidentiality," Not-Ukki ripostes, sounding again like their know-it-all cousins. 

"Is that why you're wearing a genjutsu?" Shisui asks, his Sharingan whirling to life briefly.

"Yes, it is, now put those away," Not-Ukki says, fanning air into Shisui's eyes and making them water. "Don't you know what over-using those will do to you?"

"It doesn't do anything, because that's not a thing," Shisui grumbles, scrubbing at his cheeks.

"The Uchiha kekkei genkai doesn't have any trivial restrictions or drawbacks like that," Itachi recites, and Shisui groans.

"Maybe for jitterbug over here it won't, but for everyone else? Yes it does. Whatever, believe me or don't, I don’t care. They’re your eyes, after all." Not-Ukki pokes in Itachi's direction.

Itachi narrows his eyes. "Suspicious."

"Don't be like that," Not-Ukki wines, pouting. Shisui didn't know that grown-ups were allowed to pout. "I promise I'm only a moderately suspicious person!"

"Prove it," Itachi declares. It's the most he's talked to anyone not Shisui for months, and Shisui's having mixed feelings about his best friend's progress. Mostly about the fact that it's all because of the funny but still really weird Probably-Uchiha Not-Ukki.

"Your mom trusts me," he says, and... that's pretty solid proof, actually.

"Why does she trust you?" Itachi powers on.

"I'll give you a hint: you've both met me before," Not-Ukki goads, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Wow. That's super unhelpful," Shisui deadpans.  Itachi nods.

"Them's the breaks, kid! Now, do you want to see if we can mess with the elders' shoes while they're busy trying to do something dumb?"

Shisui jumps to his feet. "Hell yes!" He can get back to interrogating their weird guard later - he can't let this rare mischief opportunity pass him by!

Itachi gives him an utterly betrayed look. "Language," he gasps out like the forty year old man he thinks he is.

Shisui sticks his tongue out at him. "I'm older than you, so I'm allowed to cuss."

Not-Ukki herds them out of Itachi's room. "And we're about to miss our window if you boys keep babbling. Now, the trick is to make it so that after they put the sandals on they’ll last long enough that old farts won't suspect _us_..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikoto isn't thinking quite rationally about Kakashi's actions on the mission that 'killed' Obito, glossing over more rational thoughts in favor of an easy scapegoat to blame for her nephew's death. Everything she thinks in regards to Obito's team always passes through a filter for her, and anything that's not immediately about her nephew or Kushina she disregards. On a lighter note, she thinks that Obito will still be a good role-model for Itachi. She's wrong.
> 
> The stuff Obito's talking about when he sees Shisui is based on the translation of Shisui's name and the way he died the first time around. The timeline for him is wack, so I'm putting him at a handful of years older than Itachi, who's a well spoken child too young for the Academy. Shisui hasn't gotten to chuunin yet (though he will soon), and as such hasn't fought in the war, lost his best friend, and activated his Mangekyo. 
> 
> As always, if you have any questions or see any errors please let me know! Starting after the next chapter, updates may come a little slower since I don't have a lot of future chapters finished.


	12. Getting back into the Daily Grind (It's a Dirty Job but Someone Has to Do It)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Immediate responsibilities are faced, personalities are pondered, and bijuu are discussed. Minato takes two at being a responsible teacher, Kakashi makes plans to scar the citizens of Konoha, Rin is ready to get a handle on this jinchuuriki thing, and Kushina's just glad that her husband has stopped looking like a kicked puppy (though she certainly wouldn't mind it if Rin would stop bugging her about the Kyuubi.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some bs pseudoscience in regards to jinchuuriki in this one, if it contradicts with anything that's canon please let me know! Or ignore canon. You could also do that.

 

**How to Train Your Bijuu**  

 

 

In the morning, Minato had been more withdrawn than Kakashi had ever seen him – well, almost. Still, it’s obvious that Rin’s words had a major impact. Kakashi knew that they had to be said, just like Rin knew, but neither of them had been looking forward to it. Kushina gives him and Rin the stink eye when they come down for breakfast, but doesn’t say anything.

After five long, dragging minutes, Kakashi’s had enough. If Rin’s not going to break this weird rut they’ve gotten themselves into, then he will. It's stupid to wallow in the past when they can easily move through their mistakes. Using his time tested method of dealing with serious issues, Kakashi creates something new for them to focus on instead.

"So, how soon am I being shipped off again?" 

Rin kicks him under the table. Apparently, that's too far off from what brat-Kakashi would say. 

"I mean, how soon can I get back into service?" There, that should be better. Rin doesn't kick him, so it has her seal of approval.

Minato grinds his teeth, a common reaction among those who asked upper management for a reasonable request and got handily shut down. "Kakashi, both you and I are being assigned orders today. Rin..." he trails off, but catches himself. "Rin, I've managed to pull you completely from the mission distribution registration for the time being. You'll be training under Kushina until the council deems you sufficiently prepared to uphold the standards of a jinchuuriki."

He takes a breath, and focuses his gaze on Rin. "I'm not going to be here often, but whenever I am, I will help you. If you need anything, or if you just want to practice or spend time with someone, I will be there. After the war is over, the three of us will sit down and talk this out, but for now let me know if I've done something wrong. I've recently learned that I am nowhere near infallible." He shoots both of them a slightly wobbly grin.

Kakashi nods back, and he sees Rin smile faintly out of the corner of his eye.

"Thank you, sensei. We'll make this work," Rin says softly, and Minato sags in relief.

Kushina stops trying to murder them with her mind, and _Kakashi_ sags in relief. Imperceptibly. Because he has a cool and hip image to maintain.

He's just glad that she didn't give him another noogie. Those hurt.

Minato takes a quiet breath, holds it for a second, then lets it out. "Rin, Kushina can give you a run-down on how your training is going to work. You can get started on it whenever you feel ready - just know that the council may try to push you past where you're comfortable. Kushina and I will do everything we can to keep them off of your back, and to negate their... less intelligent suggestions. I believe in you. Kakashi, after we finish breakfast I want to spar with you in order to make sure that the effects of your chakra exhaustion won't make taking a mission too dangerous for you. After that, we'll head over to the Hokage tower and pick up our assignments."

Minato purposefully eyes the crutch he'd lectured Kakashi about needing even if he doesn’t think so just half an hour ago. Kakashi lets a look of distaste slip over his face. If the chakra exhaustion gets really irritating, he can always -

"You are _not_ going to try and artificially negate your lack of chakra by taking soldier pills," Minato snaps, more firm than Kakashi remembers him usually being, "and if you feel tempted, I am quite sure that Rin can and will give you a very thorough explanation, with multiple examples and warnings, to convince you not to."

Next to him, Rin turns and glares. “I most certainly can, but it shouldn’t be necessary. After all, I’ve given Kakashi plenty of time to think about his potential actions and their effects on his physical and mental well-being; it would be utterly _moronic_ of him to still feel the need to recklessly endanger himself after that.”

Fine, whatever, he’ll only use them as a last resort. Kakashi sulkily shoves the rest of his breakfast into his mouth to avoid responding. 

With that out of the way, he grabs his crutches and exaggeratedly hobbles over Minato, who's still only half done eating, and pokes disruptively at the legs of his chair with said wooden aids. He knows that he's being a brat, but what's the fun of being shunted into your younger body if you don't take the opportunity to act your physical age?

"Stop that," Minato groans, some of his liveliness leaving him. "I'll join you when I'm finished. Go warm up and stretch, make sure you know where your limits are before we spar."

Kakashi takes back his crutch and bows sarcastically to Rin and Kushina. Rin rolls her eyes and waves him away, resigned to his antics, and Kushina raises a single, unimpressed eyebrow. Everybody's a critic. He makes his way outside before they realize that he's leaving his dirty dishes behind without bringing them into the kitchen.

While he's not particularly excited to throw himself back into yet another war, Kakashi isn't about to leave the people he cared about in danger without chipping in. Walking is a bit of a challenge, but he's no stranger to dealing with severe chakra depletion so it's still manageable. Smaller movements, like hand signs and footwork, come back sooner, and he stopped having difficulty with either about halfway through yesterday. He's in no way at his best, but unless the desk-nin throws him up against some S-rank opponents, Kakashi isn't worried.

Stretching is a relief, but his younger body is even less flexible than he had been as an old man. It's something he's going to need to work on, along with easing the general population into his, ah, shift in personality. Obviously, the best way to fix both things at once is to seek out his Eternal Rival, but that'll have to wait until they put the war behind them. After people see him willingly interacting with the Green Beast, then the smaller things won't be as controversial. 

Running through a quick series of warm-ups, Kakashi mentally goes over a packing list of what he's going to need to grab from his apartment before he finally leaves. It's an automatic checklist, and he's finished in no time flat, left to complete the rest of his exercises and sit on the porch in silence, kicking his feet. He's going to need to get his hands on some acceptable literature soon - he can't keep taking Rin's, and he's been dying without anything good to read. No one looks scandalized when they see him anymore, and it's disheartening. 

Sighing, Kakashi lets his shoulders curve into a slouch, tilting his head skywards to stare at the pale blue sky above him. Shikamaru had run a tight ship when it came to signing documents and forcing him to show up to all of the necessary, ridiculous productions, but he really was onto something with his cloud gazing. It's an easy way to pass the time, if nothing else. 

He must have ended up spacing out, since the sudden appearance of Minato's curious face blocking out the sky actually startles him. To display how off-guard he just was, Kakashi blinks. 

Minato's floating head quirks its lips, smiling slightly. His teacher still looks so tired. "I take it you're ready?"

Staring blankly up at Minato, Kakashi takes a second to ponder how his pre-teen self would have answered. Now that he's too relaxed to dredge up the truly awful memories he has of this time, he decides that suddenly, he doesn't care. "Maa, maybe."

Minato frowns and crouches so that he can use the back of his hand to push up Kakashi's hitai-ate and hair, checking for a fever. Kakashi allows it, if only because he'd been secretly hoping for something similar to happen ever since Minato had died, but he still heaves out his most put-upon sigh at the babying.

"I'm not ill, sensei. I've just decided that I don't want to act like a walking rule book anymore."

Both gratification and worry flash in Minato's posture, but he keeps his smile impressively steady. "Can I ask what prompted the change?" He doesn't look like he's expecting an answer, but he _did_ put forth the effort to ask in the first place. Kakashi's willing to humor him.

"I've had a lot of time to reflect since my last mission went wrong. After everything, it's just not who I want to be," Kakashi unfolds his hands from where they're pillowing his head and spreads them out in front of himself to add some flare into his purposefully terrible explanation. "I think, maybe I should shoot for something more relaxed. Maybe even cool? Being hip would definitely suit me. What do you think?" 

Kakashi peers up at Minato with an earnest eye, because while he would love to capture Minato's wincing face in his memory forever, he simply cannot afford the chakra expenditure the luxury would cost him. Obito's going to have to make do with a strictly verbal retelling of this particular jape. 

"I'm not quite sure what you mean by 'hip', but I'll support whatever new style you try out." He's trying so hard not to grimace, it's almost cute. Kakashi clasps his hands under his chin, acting like a love-struck protagonist. 

"Thank you, Minato-sensei!" 

Huh. Even after _that_ , he's still smiling. No matter how wooden it is, Kakashi is honor bound to give him credit where credit is due. Wiping his face clean of any sensei-scarring expressions, Kakashi slides off of the porch and slouches into the clearing in Kushina's back yard. "So, are we sparring, or do you want to keep playing fifty questions until the Third sends a runner to drag us in for our assignments?"

Minato springs back upright, absentmindedly straightening out his jounin vest. "Right! Right, yes, we're sparring." He follows after Kakashi, coming to a halt at a comfortable distance from him.

The spar is - it's not great. Throughout the entire match, Kakashi is shaky and slightly off balance, splitting his attention between fighting through his fatigue and fighting against useless muscle memory from a body easily twice his current size. It is painfully obvious that Minato is taking it easy on him, and still Kakashi knows he won't win. 

He had known this was going to happen ever since Minato had suggested the check-up, but it's useful to have more fighting experience against higher level opponents. The only people he's sparred with since he came back are Rin and Obito; Rin was getting used to having an actual body again, but she was never really a taijutsu based fighter, and Obito was half dead, focused more on keeping himself together than on taking down his opponent. In contrast, the swift and precise attack combinations and the ironclad defenses Minato uses against him are utterly devastating and badly needed. His smaller stature can be advantageous if he plays his cards right, but until he manages to condition himself to being the shortest person around again he's got to be careful.

He manages to improve his reaction times and the general strength behind his movements, but that's as far as he gets before Minato decides that he's seen enough. The match ends almost immediately afterwards, and Kakashi is out of breath as Minato herds him back towards the porch to sit down. 

Rin's there, leaning against Kushina and braiding whatever hair she can get her hands on. She sticks her leg out to nudge Kakashi when he collapses onto the inviting wood, but it's Kushina who speaks up first. 

"Are you alright there, boy wonder?"

Kakashi doesn't want to bother answering, so he sends Rin his best sad puppy look and trusts her to take care of it. 

Rin nudges him again, slightly harder, but does what Kakashi asked her to do. "He's fine, just tired. I imagine that he's already planning all of the training he'll be putting himself through once he's not as weak as a brand new chuunin."

Minato laughs at that, sitting down next to Kushina. Pausing almost imperceptibly, he reaches out and ruffles Rin's hair before picking up one of the braids she's finished and tossing it lightly at his wife. "He's not quite that bad, but I am going to put a B-rank limit on what he's going to be assigned. As his teacher, it would be irresponsible of me to allow for anything else."

Kakashi rolls over so that he can stare at the sky again. He grumbles, "I'm right here, don't talk about me like I'm a spare kunai."

Rin snorts and Kushina leans over to condescendingly pat him on the head. "There, there, Kakashi. You're the sharpest kunai in the pouch, and we love you."

Kakashi sends Minato a sad look, a plea for his help. "Sensei!"

Minato coughs into his hand, then rests his hand on top of his head, right next to Kushina's. "We'd love you even if you had gone dull with age and use, don't worry."

Kakashi heaves a sigh and closes his eye. "I've been betrayed. Rin, have it be known that all I've ever worked towards has been to become the world's sharpest shiruken, and the only thing even my closest friends can see me for is my kunai. As soon as this war is over, I'm retiring. No one truly understands my vision."

"But of course," Rin nods, then chokes on her laughter. This sets off a bewildered Minato and a slightly incredulous Kushina, and soon all three of them are laughing. 

It's not quite perfect, still missing a few key voices, but it's close. Closer than Kakashi had ever gotten before. He lets himself smile.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi isn't sticking to his grumpy preteen personality very well, but Rin can't find it in herself to give him too hard of a time over it. Plus, his later personality is much better for both his personal health and his personal relationships. It's almost impossible to make friends when you glare at everyone you come across, and Kakashi's been lonely. Out of the three of them he had been the one who had had the most connections at the end of it all, and he's clearly been missing them. 

He's made a good start, allowing himself to get this close to Kushina and Minato. Now she just has to make sure that Obito does the same, and both of her boys will look out for her in their own ways.

Minato is trying. The middle of a war is not the best place to try and rectify the unseen effects of favoritism on students that are technically no longer his, but it's clear to Rin that he cares. He's got Kushina to back him up and keep him on the right track, so she's not too worried about his personal growth on that front - also, even if she is sort of older than fifteen it's still weird to think about placing herself in charge of supervising any part of her teacher's life, so she's told herself that she's going to keep as far away from that side of things as possible. The only reason she brought up the issue was because it now affects her and because it was something that really weighed on Obito; now that she's said her piece and seen her message received, she's perfectly content to wash her hands of the situation.

Kushina reaches down and plucks the strands of hair Rin's absentmindedly braiding together out of her hands, tossing it over her shoulder to join the rest of her bright red mane and startling Rin out of her thoughts. She scoots Rin gently off of her, then stands. Rin loves being too adorable to stay mad at.

"Alright, the two of you had better go get a move on before the day gets any older. Up you get, come on." 

Minato stands immediately, pressing a quick kiss to Kushina's cheek as he passes her on his way inside. Kakashi, on the other hand, rolls over and pretends to fall asleep. He gets both of his crutches dumped on top of him for his troubles, and a rather vicious cheek pinch when he finally gets to his feet and shuffles into the house.

"That brat is almost worse, now," she grumbles, rolling her shoulders to get rid of the stress induced tension Kakashi tends to cause. "Why do you put up with him?"

"He's earned the right to act silly, I think," Rin grins up at Kushina. "It's a way he can enjoy life, and his whole laid-back attitude is quite relaxing once you get used to it. Also, it drives Obito nuts."

"Relaxing? If you say so." Kushina waves Rin off of the porch, shooing her into the recently vacated clearing. "I guess it really would be shocking for the poster boy of the shinobi handbook to suddenly start being even more scatterbrained than Obito's famous ditzyness."

"That's part of it, sure," Rin smirks, glad that Kushina's privacy wards cover the small yard. It would be somewhat annoying to need to go inside every time she wanted to talk to Kushina without censoring herself. "But it's more that Obito got super serious and has a hard time joking around to such a degree without it being a mask."

Kushina sits on the ground in a single move, hugging a leg to her chest and folding her hands in front of it. "You need to invite the little munchkin over more, because based on the only time I've seen him since you three decided to mess with the fabric of space time he seemed pretty normal to me. A bit quiet and hesitant, but otherwise just like the Obito I remember."

Rin levers herself onto the ground as well, facing Kushina. She tucks both of her knees under her chin - she's never particularly cared much about how she sat, but Isobu-san seems to prefer sitting like this, so she's been giving it a try. It's not all that uncomfortable, and it helps keep her warm whenever she starts to feel chilly. "Well, he's always looked up to you. It makes sense that he'd act like a star-struck kid if his childhood role model showed up out of nowhere and said that she still loved him."

Kushina grinned and rubbed at her nose bashfully. "He really thinks that highly of me, huh?"

Rin beams back. "Absolutely!"

Kushina pumps her fist in the air, energized. "All right! Let’s get down to work on getting you accustomed to being a brand new jinchuuriki! We can't let the boys show us up."

Rin quirks an eyebrow. "Show us up at what, exactly?"

Kushina ignores her. "First thing's first: we need to test how compatible you are with the Sanbi's chakra. Obviously you're not on completely different wavelengths from each other, but it's still important to see just how much dissonance there is. It'll affect how much of it you'll be able to safely use without frying your chakra pathways."

"Sanbi-san," Rin stresses, refusing to back down on this particular topic. "The bijuu are all thinking, living individuals. They're not just things."

Kushina grimaces. "Rin, please. Are we really going to do this right now?"

Rin shuffles her legs so that she can cross her arms over her chest. "Yes. They all have names, and it would be polite to address them as such. They're not our enemies."

Kushina scowls at her. "Yours may not be, but every time I hear a peep out of Mr. Anger Issues he's always raving about destroying everything."

_"Ah, Kurama..."_  Isobu winces.

"He's... he's like that," Rin allows, trying to be diplomatic. "Anger is kind of his whole thing, but that's not all there is to him. It will probably be really hard for you to connect with him after keeping him on such a short leash for so long, but it's not necessarily impossible. The kid who gets stuck together with him in the future managed to get to be pretty good friends with him, from what I could tell."

"That's not really a convincing argument, sweetheart."

"He's pissed off about something happened forever ago, and is taking it out on humans. Once he works through his issues, he'll be less grumpy."

Rin may be operating on a good deal of inferences and hope, but she at least gets dual snorts out of Kushina and Isobu.

"Man, he did not like that insinuation," Kushina says, raising a hand to her forehead. "He's never sounded so offended before. It's new."

"Like I said, he just needs to work out some issues," Rin repeats to the sound of yet more soft laughter from Isobu-san.

"Since you've thoroughly derailed this training session and I don't want to bother fighting with... Kyuubi's chakra fit, let's keep talking about this. What's yours like? Sanbi, right?"

Rin supposes that she should have known Kushina wouldn't bother with honorifics, but it still makes her shake her head slightly. "Yes. Sanbi-san is quite calm, and rather nice once you get to know them. They look like a turtle!"

"Calm?" Kushina asks. "You must have hit the jackpot on bijuu, then, because I've never heard of one of them being calm before."

"Well they weren't super calm in the beginning, since they had just been shoved into a random person with a shitty seal after years of prior imprisonment, but we worked it out!"

_"Sorry about that,"_ Isobu chimes in, abashed. _"I've just never had anyone make me the offer you did and mean it before. I wasn't very trusting."_

_"Don't worry about it!"_  Rin thinks back, smiling brightly. _"You had every right to be suspicious! With everything that was going on, you were being sensible! Other than the whole 'I'm going to kill the people who did this' thing. That's only sensible when you're actually careful about who you kill."_

_"Yes, right."_ Isobu sounds even more embarrassed, and Rin just grins. 

Kushina nudges her with her foot. "That's the second time you've done that. Were you talking to them again?"

"Yep," Rin says sunnily, making it sound like the easiest and most natural thing anyone with a mental connection with a bijuu could do. "There's no way we could be good friends if I never talk to them, and I know how much it sucks to be unable to hold a conversation with anyone for decades. No one deserves that."

Kushina sighs, resting her elbow on her leg and using her hand to prop up her head. "And there you go again with the depressing shit. Do you want to talk about it?"

Rin flushes, embarrassed. "Not really. I've gotten most of it out of my system, but I keep forgetting that it does get a bit morose if I bring up the fact that I died in normal conversation."

Kushina thunks her fist into the top of Rin's head, letting it stay there. "That's nothing to be embarrassed about. I just wanted to make sure you were alright, since it sounds terrible."

"It was mostly frustrating and boring. Anyways!" Rin claps her hands, uncurling her legs since her knees were starting to hurt. "I talk to Sanbi-san because it helps facilitate an easy working and personal relationship between the two of us. With Kyuubi-san, it might help soften him up a little, maybe? Even if it doesn't, it's still worth a try."

"Do you have any good conversation starters for me, oh wise one? Something tells me that just introducing myself isn't going to cut it, and I doubt that Kyuubi is going to be easily won over with talks of friendship," Kushina drawls, pulling back to lean on her  hand again.

"Try talking about a common enemy?" Rin suggests, then purses her lips at Isobu-san's trepidation. "Or, don't do that. Maybe get him to talk about himself, first. You're usually pretty good with people, so you might be able to figure out where to go from there if you get to know him a bit. And maybe, just a suggestion here, don't think of it as winning him over. From everything that I've heard and seen about him, he has too much pride for that, and you'll never get through to him."

"Alright, I'll try," Kushina acquiesces. "I know he can talk to me, but how do I make sure I can talk to him?"

"Think really loud!" Rin repeats Isobu-san's advice. "If you have the time and patience for it, going directly into the seal space is a good method, but it's a lot harder to do on a casual basis. It might be frustrating to go there frequently only to have annoying and one-sided conversations, so I'd personally start off by just shouting at him mentally."

"While I try to tame my inner demon -"

"Please don't say that,"

"- _you're_ going to work on getting your chakra to sync up with Sanbi's. It's one of the most basic principles of being a jinchuuriki and something that's necessary if you want to not be completely terrible at it. Which you won't be, if I have any say about it."

"Yes, Kushina-nee-san." 

Rin wonders if this is how Obito felt when she was training him back in kamui.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be heading off to school relatively soon, so updates may start to slow down. This is just a heads up.
> 
> Like always, if you've got questions or concerns just toss me a comment!


	13. Getting back into the Swing of Things (You Can't Kill My Groove)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi's bad luck acts up again, Obito gets annoyed and annoying, Rin plays peacemaker again, and some Zetsu show up. Fights are had, friendly reassurance is distributed through light violence, and a squad of four chuunin get the surprise of a lifetime (though it's not given too much attention).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's fighting ahead. Also, please keep in mind that this was originally not meant to be a serious fic. The squad of chuunin Kakashi is assigned are all OCs and half of them aren't named - I promise they're not important.

 

**Can a "Nohara Rin" Please Collect Her Claimed Zetsu from Aisle Seven, They're Being Rowdy**

 

Running a B-ranked resupply mission is, in theory, something that Kakashi could do in his sleep. This is fortunate, since he’s exhausted and the deadly lull of sleep yanks on him sharply every time he closes his eyes. Something that's less easy to deal with is the general feeling of unease that's been setting his teeth on edge the moment he met up with his mission squad, sadly on time - the four chuunin reek of it, and Kakashi hasn't had to deal with the mistrust of his fellow shinobi in a long time. No, not mistrust, more... a lack of confidence. 

If he cared more, it might actually hurt his feelings.

He doesn't, so he's going to ignore it until they accomplish their objective. It's inconsequential as long as none of them get insubordinate with him, which would be a pretty dumb thing to do seeing as Kakashi was specifically requested by the outpost they're catering to. Still, they're two days into a three day transit, and while Kakashi is kind of falling apart at the seams due to chakra exhaustion he's still by far the fastest member of the group. The Aburame is decent, but the other three act like they're brand new chuunin on their first wartime outing, and they needed to stop four times more than is optimal because they were _too tired_  to safely continue. 

Kakashi's not even making them go at an ANBU pace, so he has no clue why that is - even _his_ Team Seven could have kept up with him at the rate they're moving. When they were _genin_. Yanagikage stumbles for the third time this hour, and Kakashi has to hold in a sigh as he shifts into a slightly slower run. 

Another hour to the outpost, the customary three hours it takes to confirm and transfer supplies and orders, and three days home. He can do this.

A faint rustle off to the left, too big for a bird, is the only warning they get before an Iwa-nin is stabbing forward, his kunai glinting with poison. Luckily, he had been aiming for the Aburame, so Kakashi has to readjust his plans for an extra hour and a half of searching and explanations instead of the two hours a deceased teammate would have gotten them.

…

Kakashi’s squad shows up to their rendezvous point within thirty minutes of their scheduled time, bruised and battered by their slight scrape with what turned out to be a small squad of Iwa-nin, and a lessened weight hanging in the air between them. Saving Yanagikage and creating a simple yet effective plan of attack was apparently enough to build all four of their confidences in Kakashi's skills as a leader, which is good, he guesses. He's still going to recommend that particular shinobi for immediate reassignment to remedial lessons with the chuunin corps, though.

Something he'd forgotten about was the strange split of reverence and contempt most of the older shinobi had for him that make them even more of a headache to deal with than his own four-man squad. The real travesty here is Kakashi's inability to annoy them right back, his preteen personality of a stick-in-the-mud not lending itself well to any easy ways of inducing anything more severe than mild anger. As soon as he's able, he's going to fast track his 'personality development', just so that he can avoid having to sit and glare at a tent full of self-righteous dickheads without anything real in his arsenal to pull out against them.

The increasingly angry looks on their faces when a kid who doesn't even come up to their chest started spouting out regulation after regulation at them whenever they tried to cut any corners was pretty funny, but it's not the angle he wants to go for.

He gets sneers as he and his squad leave the station, which is annoying, since they're the ones who asked for him in the first place.

Seven hours later, and Kakashi’s squad settles in for the night. The brats Sandaime-sama gave him hadn't lasted much longer than Kakashi had predicted (after having adjusted his expectations to account for their absolutely horrendous stamina), and he's sure that _all_ of them look like they're ready to drop at any time. Of course, this doesn't mean that Kakashi is about to get a break, since he's assigned himself first watch; if he had told any of the chuunin to take it, they would all wake up to a friendly kunai in the chest, he's sure. The unlucky watchman would be the first to go since they would have nodded off within minutes of sitting down. No, Kakashi has given himself the honor of staring into the dark around them, fighting his own body to stay awake. Yay for him.

Well, the silence and lack of annoying observers affords him the opportunity to try doing something he's been mulling over for a week now, so he’s not about to say it's too bad. 

Regardless of what Obito claims, Kakashi's not just pulling new uses for their shared Sharingan out of the void - yes, he does come up with previously unexplored applications for the powers they hold, but the groundwork has always been there. Obito could have easily come up with the tricks if he had wanted to and if he wasn't so attached to the idea that he had completely 'mastered' his Mangekyo abilities. The only thing Kakashi has been doing, after all, is poke at the concept of using the connection between their eyes. Obito's only ever focused on using _his_  eye, singular.

What he's trying now is building on the success he had connecting to Obito while he was half hidden away in kamui that allowed him to drag his stubborn teammate into the real world to talk with Kushina. He's aiming for something more long distance than before, with a lot less dragging-through-dimensions, and Kakashi can only be grateful that the tricks relying on the connection between their eyes require much smaller amounts of chakra to attempt than anything else he's done with the eye.

It's like reaching out with his senses and feeling the chakra around him, except he's reaching through a strange twist of space for the only other chakra source in existence. Kakashi's never been much of a sensor, but even he can feel the surprise flicker through Obito's bright chakra, and he knows that he's had yet another success.

The air next to him distorts, and Kakashi smiles.

"This will make setting up meetings much easier," he drawls quietly, ignoring Obito's glower. "Now we've just got to figure something out for Rin, and we'll be all set."

Obito still doesn't say anything, sticking his bottom lip out like he's _actually_ a petulant fifteen year old.

Kakashi raises his hands, playacting. "Hey, at least I didn't drag you here by force," not that he would have been able to, since that particular trick needed a physical connection to work, "I just... pinged you. Like how you can see through my eye sometimes, but on purpose and with intent rather than visions."

Sucking his bottom lip back in, Obito considers this and eventually relents with a roll of his eye. "Fine, I'll take that. Did you want anything, or did you do it just to be an annoying showoff? I was in the middle of something."

"No you weren't, you were stalking Minato," Kakashi fires back, comfortable in his guess. Obito's been ignoring the Akatsuki lately and he wouldn't be pissy about Kakashi calling him if he had just been spying on Madara. He wouldn't be stalking Rin, because now that Kushina knows he's alive and has a house that's more than adequately warded he would be far too tempted to pop in physically, which would get Rin angry at him for interrupting her training. So, the only other thing he'd be doing that would make him so touchy is if he was stalking someone he feels conflicted about.

"Hrk!" Obito chokes on air.

Nice. Kakashi was right.

"He's acting weird, is all," Obito justifies. "I was just trying to figure out if it's because of something we did - I don't really want to be the reason he up and dies again. Kushina would be so mad!"

Even though Obito's always doubted his place in Minato's heart, Kakashi knows that he loves him all the same. In retrospect, it was a good thing that Rin's so protective of them since it means that they won't have to worry about Minato and Obito as much.

"Rin did it," Kakashi reveals, his volume low enough that Obito's forced to move closer to hear him clearly. "She got him thinking about what he's done as a teacher and as a person, and he's been trying to focus on the way he interacts with others recently."

Obito chews this over, frowning. "He looks sad."

"He is," Kakashi says. "He's blaming himself for a lot, now."

Tapping his fingers against his crossed arms, Obito looks worried. Kakashi sighs and leans into his side to snap him out of it.

"Mostly, he's been thinking about you. Once this is all over, I'm sure that he'll have some things to say to you; it's your decision, but I recommend you listen."

Silently, Obito lets himself hunch inwards, skewed towards where he's connected to Kakashi. Eventually, he speaks up. "What do you want, Kakashi?"

Kicking his feet idly, Kakashi eye-smiles. "Nothing! I just wanted to see if the eye thing would work."

He can almost physically feel Obito's restraint snapping.

He can certainly feel when Obito grabs onto his shoulders and shakes him roughly because he can't yell at Kakashi or try to set him on fire again this close to Kakashi's squad of twitchy chuunin.

" _You! Ass_!" Obito hisses in his ear, shaking a few more times before he gets most of his lingering frustration out of his system. No one can accuse Kakashi of being a bad teammate with the textbook perfect way he's looking after Obito's mental health right now.

Kakashi chuckles quietly to himself as Obito clams down, waiting until the taller boy slumps against him before softly starting up a commentary of the antics he and Rin had pulled the day before. Transitioning smoothly into brainstorming for potential pranks, Kakashi relaxes on his branch as the hour passes by - he's exhausted, but it's not tiring to talk to Obito, who he trusts enough to stay on the lookout for any dangers Kakashi's too tired to sense. 

When his shift comes to an end, he takes the last few minutes to sit in companionable silence with his friend. As he picks up on the faint rustling of clothes from below - the Aburame, next up for sentry duty - Kakashi pokes his elbow into Obito's ribs.

"Go see Rin," he fusses gently. "She won't be training at night, and Kushina's house is safe from prying ears and eyes without the possibility of Minato popping up out of nowhere."

Obito scoffs at him, then puts Kakashi in a headlock. "Stop being such a jerk, don't do anything stupid, and promise me that you won't get yourself killed," he lists just as quietly, because he worries.

"I promise," Kakashi says, sighing as Obito releases him and whirls into nothingness, "just so long as you don't do anything stupid yourself," he finishes into the empty night.

Rearranging himself back into a suitably watchful position, Kakashi keeps his face pointed out into the woods when Aburame lands on the branch next to him, signaling that he can finally go to sleep.

"Hatake-san." 

Or not, apparently. Kakashi inclines his head to show that he's listening; the kid smells nervous, which is interesting.

"...you were talking to someone. Who?"

At least you can always count on an Aburame to be blunt. He'd forgotten just how keen their bugs made them, but it's still nothing to worry about. Kakashi looks up at the other shinobi sharing his branch. "Uchiha Obito," he taps underneath his borrowed Sharingan just in case Aburame isn't up to date on the drama that is Kakashi's life.

Aburame's posture shifts from cautious to regretful, and Kakashi has to hold back a wince. Saying nothing else, he drops to the ground and sets up his bedroll - he may not be planning on making as many trips to the memorial stone as he once did, but he has the feeling that he's going to be known as the sad ninja constantly talking to his dead teammates anyways.

It's quiet for the rest of the night, and everyone is up and ready to move out by the time dawn threatens the sky.

 

* * *

 

Deciding that being polite and warning someone that you're about to drop in on them unannounced is for chumps, Obito literally drops in on Rin and Kushina as the two women sit quietly in Kushina's living room together. Ignoring Kushina's startled exclamation, he flops over Rin's back, trusting her to not shove him off. She doesn't, since she's used to his sudden bouts of clinging, but she is laughing hard enough at Kushina's vehement swearing to jostle him.

"What the hell was that?!" Kushina demands.

"Kakashi was probably just being a jerk again," Rin grins, correct even though she always thinks that Obito's overreacting whenever he calls their teammate that.

"He invented another one!" Obito rants. "And he called me out even though he didn't have anything he wanted to talk about! _Just to see if he could_!"

Kushina whacks him on the head. "That doesn't mean you can just appear out of nowhere, ya know! I could have gutted you!"

Obito shuffles around so that he's hiding behind Rin, sticking his tongue out. "No you couldn't have!"

Kushina raises her fist threateningly. "I am a seasoned jounin, mister chuunin, and surprising me is a quick way to get yourself maimed. Family or not, instincts are a bitch."

"Chuunin!" Obito gasps, offended, but Rin shoves her hand over his mouth before he can get into one of his famous window-rattling arguments with Kushina again.

"He's speaking a little bit more literally than what you're picturing," she says to Kushina, smiling to relieve the tension. "He's not doubting that you can and would swing with intent to kill if he catches you off guard. And Obito, you never did make it past chuunin officially."

Obito phases through Rin's hand, an extreme he's had to rely on ever since she became immune to him licking her palm to make her let go. "I am an S-ranked -"

"What the fuck?!" Kushina cuts him off again. 

"I told you, he wasn't implying that you wouldn't put a kunai in him if he startled you again. It just wouldn't do anything," Rin explains, ignoring Obito's indigent rage.

"That's - really?" Kushina marvels, lowering her fist. "That sounds useful."

"It would be, if he didn't use it just to say things he knows he shouldn't," Rin says, poking her finger through Obito's chest witheringly.

"She was wrong, and there's no harm in correcting her," Obito huffs, crossing his arms. "Honestly, I came here to get away from people acting like jerks, and you guys are just attacking me."

"You're fine, you big baby," Kushina snaps, experimentally reaching out to check Obito's intangibility herself. When her hand bumps into his shoulder, she scowls and pinches his cheeks. "Do you _want_ me to attack you? Because I can."

"Just try it, you - "

"LOVING AND WONDERFUL PERSON," Rin shouts over Obito.

"Not right now she isn't!" Obito grumbles, the discrepancy in how much both sides of his face hurt making him grimace.

Kushina puts him in a headlock, unknowingly reversing his actions against Kakashi back on him. "I am a goddamn delight, every hour of the day, 365 days a year."

"Keep telling yourself that," Obito needles, but lets himself go limp in her arms. He hasn't been able to relax around her like this in a while, and it's nice even with the loud yelling. "Rin! Tell me what you've been up to!"

"Maybe if you ask me again in a nicer tone," Rin says, primly opening one of her terrible books as a threat. "That's not how one typically catches up with a friend, you wild animal."

Obito pulls a Kakashi and affects a kicked puppy look, which is highly effective even when he's not being strangled to make the whole act more pitiful. "Please? I haven't been able to see you in forever, and I missed you."

Rin relents, thankfully closing her book and moving to sit next to where Kushina's headlock has turned into more of a one-armed hug. "I've been talking and training with Kushina-nee and Isobu-san, mostly. We've only had a couple of hiccups with the council, but nothing too serious, and Kushina-nee’s agreed to try talking with Kyuubi-san."

"Oof, good luck with that," Obito says, completely unsympathetic. Kurama was _annoying_.

"Thanks, I'm pretty sure I'll need it," Kushina replies sardonically. 

"I heard you made Minato sad," Obito butts in over Rin's half-hearted defense. "What's up with that?"

Rin's face goes sour, and Kushina's arm tightens around him. 

"I said some things that he needed to think about, even though they weren't what he needed to hear." Rin bows her head, uncomfortable.

"And I've already chewed her out for it and chewed out pretty boy for reacting like he did," Kushina declares, "so it's over and no one needs to talk about it anymore."

"Was it really that bad?" Obito asks, always curious.

"What did I just say, brat?" Kushina growls. 

"It was pretty mean, but it needed to be said," Rin says, still staring at her hands. "I don't want to be mad at him, and I'm not, so as long as he really internalizes what he's learned everything's going to be fine."

Kushina doesn't say anything, but she's obviously angry. Obito decides that it's time for another subject. "Are you seriously reading that series again?"

"Love Kiss Love is a revolutionary romantic epic and I will not stand to hear you slander its good name," Rin snaps, finally looking up.

"Apparently, Kakashi likes it too," Kushina offers, bewildered instead of mad.

"Ugh, no. He's just using it as a place holder for those awful Icha Icha books."

"The ones Jiraiya writes?" Kushina asks.

"Those books are mediocre at best and their only saving grace is the realistic combat scenes," Rin rants, and Obito finally feels like the world has settled back into place.

It stays that way for the rest of the night, listening to Rin rant about terrible porn and Kushina egging her on until they're both so tired their eyelids are drooping. After waving goodnight to Kushina, Obito and Rin troop up to the guest room, Obito grabbing several pillows along the way. Kakashi never puts enough support into his piles, and Obito's back is _fragile_. He manages to get most of the way through the night clinging to the lingering feeling of content, dozing lightly as Rin sleeps soundly next to him.

Just as dawn breaks over the horizon, Obito's startled out of his light nap by something flashing through his peripheral vision. Blinking awake, he sits up and looks around. The room is still, and he can't sense anyone other than Rin, Kushina, and himself in the house.

Obito frowns, staring at nothing as he tries to figure out what woke him up. Another flash, less peripheral and more centered in his line of sight, and Obito curses. Most likely as a residual effect of Kakashi's earlier tampering, he's seeing flashes of forest from his left eye. In itself, it's nothing too worrying; the obvious signs of Mokuton and the way his teammate is flinging around exploding tags, however, are. Barely wasting the time to heave himself out of the sleeping pile, Obito hastily disappears.

 

* * *

 

On their way home, they're attacked again. More on-edge than they were the first time, the chuunin are much quicker to react, darting out of the way of a deadly barrage of stabbing branches.

Kakashi ignores their surprised calls, gritting his teeth in displeasure. One of the Zetsu clones found him. Obito had warned him that there were going to most likely be a couple of the things watching Konoha since his disappearing act, but Kakashi hadn’t thought that any of them would go after _him_.

He shouts orders to retreat at his team, using his teacher voice to the best of his eleven year old capabilities, and unsheathes the short sword strapped to his back. He doubts that Rin will get upset with him if he takes out one Zetsu that's actively trying to kill or capture him. He's not sure which is its more likely goal, but it doesn't matter in the end; neither is going to happen.

A weak blast of Mokuton isolates Kakashi further from his squad, and he finally catches sight of his attacker. Dodging the branches reaching for him, Kakashi swings out with his sword, clashing fiercely with the Zetsu. He disengages suddenly, flickering out of sight to appear behind the clone and slashing out again, letting his momentum spin him forwards when he misses. Darting into the trees to put distance between them, Kakashi quickly shuffles through his weapons pouch, reaching for one of the seal tags he'd made specifically for just such an emergency. They worked just fine back when his shinobi were clearing out the remaining pockets of Zetsu after the Fourth War, and this strikes him as the perfect time for a pilot test of his latest batch.

Subtly, he slows down, playing up his exhaustion as he readies himself. If he doesn't want to tip his hand too early, he's going to need to hit it in the back with the tag so the Zetsu can't let the others know what tricks he's got up his sleeve. 

A shift in the air behind him is all the warning Kakashi needs before he's vaulting upwards, flipping himself over mid-air and locking onto the white clone. He sends out a round of kunai, trying to separate it from the ground and force it to take to the trees, throwing carefully calculated generic exploding tags whenever the clone gets too close to figuring out his pattern.

When the clone finally takes the bait and comes up into the branches, Kakashi strikes. Using his sword to improve his reach, he releases a flurry of blows that manage to push the Zetsu back, ripping chunks out of its body. The thing's still grinning, though, and Kakashi is leery about what it may have planned. 

Ducking under a wooden spear that gets much closer than he's comfortable with, Kakashi hears movement in the trees on his right. He grits his teeth, cutting the follow up strike down harshly. The Zetsu lets out an unnerving cackle, and Kakashi goes tumbling as the branch he just landed on pulls away from his feet.

"Hatake!" 

Kakashi really, really wishes that his nose could be wrong sometimes. The clumsy Yanagikage crashes into his field of vision, completely giving up what little advantage he had as he scrambles after Kakashi, oblivious to the piercing branches aimed at his back. He needs to end this now, before he's stuck filling out paperwork for another set of dead squad members.

Catching a hold of himself, Kakashi anchors himself to a passing branch and pushes up. Reaching Yanagikage, he whirls them around with everything he has to reverse their positions, and then lets the Zetsu's attack land.

Kakashi goes up in a poof of smoke, leaving a large log behind in his place. At the same time, he slaps his special destructive seal onto the back of the momentarily distracted clone and darts away, herding the other three members of his squad further back into the trees before he activates it. A large explosion tears through the undergrowth.

As soon as it's safe Kakashi jumps down to make sure the clone is truly destroyed. Passing a slightly singed Yanagikage, he lands at ground zero to inspect his work.

The Zetsu is definitely dead, he notes with relief. Turning around, he takes a step towards where his squad had gathered and is shoved down by a very familiar hand.

A root flies through where his head had just been, and Kakashi whirls out from under Obito to sprint in front of his yelling squad. There were two of them! There's no way his squad could adequately defend themselves against the Mokuton being flung at them, and Kakashi trusts Obito to know what he's doing. He's not going to question why his teammate knew to show up, instead focusing on beating down the stray attacks that get past Obito's admittedly sloppy defense and not letting his chuunin attack the unknown shinobi in all black body armor and a blank white mask.

A bright flash of light to distract from the smooth use of Kamui later, and the second clone is gone. 

Obito stands still for a second, then whirls around dramatically and stalks forward, his henged height leaving him to tower over Kakashi. Kakashi raises his sword defensively, as their cover demands, and holds his ground as the four chuunin stand frozen behind him. With agonizing slowness, Obito reaches out and grabs Kakashi's hitai-ate, dragging it theatrically over his spinning Sharingan eye.

"Keep that covered, why don't you?" He growls out in his Madara voice, then disappears.

Kakashi bites back a sigh. This mission report is going to be a pain in the ass.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Yanagikage is an actual clan in Naruto, I checked with Narutopedia since I didn't want to just shove a last name from one of my other favorite manga in here.
> 
> I took out the "Akatsuki" tag because they're not in this fic for a while - I'll put it back once I bring the boys (and Konan) around! Like always, if you see errors or have questions hmu!
> 
> I'm going to be starting to move for the school year soon, so I'm not sure when the next update will be. As an absolute NLT date, I'll have ch.14 to you all on the 20th (as a sort of reverse birthday present).


	14. Planning for the Future (Can sometimes be Convenient)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hiruzen is nearing the end of his rope, Kakashi's tired, Isobu has a verbal slip, and Rin plays peacemaker again. On the other hand, she also berates Obito and gets to let off some steam, so it's not too bad. Kushina is tired of her kids dropping such wild things on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you notice any mistakes, please let me know.

 

**Zetsu Make for Great Stress Balls**  

 

It hasn't even been a full week since the last disaster, and Hiruzen already has to deal with another incident from Minato's students. Just one of them, this time, but it's easily the most troublesome of the two; even as a recent jinchuuriki, Nohara Rin does not bring as many people to his office demanding something or other as Sakumo’s boy manages to. At first it was mostly Uchiha, but now he’s getting complaints from the outpost that had requested him in the first place, a few clan-loyal Yanagikage protesting their son's reassignment to remedial training, and a large number of Hiruzen's War Council. Because the number of unknown interlopers who had unknown agendas and no alliance to Konoha had just grown to three.

As he stares down at the silent form of young Hatake Kakashi, dressed in the traditional jounin uniform sans flak jacket instead of his usual outfit, he has to hold back a weary sigh. Eleven years makes for such small shoulders to bear the unimaginable burdens they're tasked with.

"Do you have any further information you wish to submit on the unknown attackers that you have not included in your reports?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Young Kakashi's posture is perfect, but his reporting style leaves much to be desired. So far, he has ascribed the bare minimum for his written report, and now is giving Hiruzen even less to work with for his oral report. 

This feels remarkably like pulling teeth. "Give me a brief summation of the actions taken by the three unknowns that is not a direct statement from your written report."

"Ordered by time encountered, the first two unknowns were hostile towards Konoha nin in general. It is unclear if they targeted jounin Hatake Kakashi specifically. The third unknown was hostile towards the first two unknowns and did not take action to harm any Konoha nin present. Unknowns 1 and 2 were both able to use some form of Mokuton, were roughly 175cm, had white skin, no identifying clothing, and did not speak. Unknown 3 used a high caliber incendiary device against Unknown 2, wore unaffiliated clothing, a smooth white mask, and has short black hair. He spoke to jounin Hatake Kakashi once before retreating, the reason behind his message unclear as of now."

"What is your personal understanding of Unknown 3's message," Hiruzen grills, exhausted.

"It likely is a warning that Unknowns 1 and 2 are searching for Sharingan users. Natural or transplanted is unclear as of now." The young boy sounds almost lifeless, and Hiruzen can hardly stand it. Just a few more years, just until after this damn war is finally over. He can make it that long, surly.

"Konoha thanks you for your valued input, jounin Hatake. Report tomorrow morning for your next assignment. You are dismissed."

Little Kakashi bows stiffly, and disappears through the window. Small things can inspire hope in Hiruzen, now, since he rarely encounters anything enjoyable that is worth the cost. A brief moment of flair from an otherwise stonehearted shinobi far too small for the title he's earned is one such thing, even if it was preceded by twenty agonizing minutes of a verbal stalemate. It's nice to see that the boy's not completely bereft of all personal agency yet.

It would be much nicer if he would stop causing trouble, though.

 

* * *

 

Kakashi has half a day to himself before he has to pick up his next mission, and the first thing he wants to do is fall face first into his bed and sleep for twelve hours straight. Unfortunately, he doesn't remember which apartment he lives in right now. It would be simple to check in on the three places he remembers staying in throughout his time in Konoha, but he's _tired._

Ah, Rin and Kushina would want to know that he's back anyways, and they have a spare bed he can crash on and a large stash of his weapons he can refill his stock with. 

Destination set, he hops from rooftop to rooftop before touching down at Kushina's house, wobbling slightly. Stumbling his way through the warm home, Kakashi follows his nose to the small yard out back, keeping his eyes mostly closed in preparation for the rewarding nap he's about to take. First, though, he has to make sure Rin knows he's alive. 

He knows that they're training, but he doesn't care since he's not planning on being too much of an interruption to their schedule. His feet scrape over the grass as he trudges between the two women who have now gone silent and closes in on Rin, walking closer until his bowed forehead bumps into her. Kakashi waits a second, then mentally reevaluates - until he bumps into them. Isobu is just fine for what Kakashi has in mind, so it doesn't matter that Rin's swapped again. He stays glued to Isobu's side until they hesitantly reach out and pat his head twice, clearly on Rin's instruction.

Having received the O.K. from her, Kakashi slowly pulls himself upright again and staggers to the guest room in a daze, falling gracelessly onto the neatly made bed. He's asleep the instant his head hits the pillow.

 

* * *

 

"Did you know he was scheduled to come back today?" Kushina asks, feeling off center for a number of reasons. "Also, that was adorable."

Rin - no. Sanbi shrugs. "I didn't know, and neither did Rin-san. He seems very tired, though, so I think it would be best if we just let him sleep?"

"Of course; he looked like he was ready to collapse where he was standing. Plus, we've only just started talking! I'm not going to poke at that sleepy grandpa when I can ask you for embarrassing stories about Kyuubi," Kushina grins, flashing a mischievous thumbs-up at the bijuu currently piloting her cute student. And man, hadn't that been a trip! 

Kushina had just wanted to get back to working on seeing how much adaption they're going to have to facilitate for Rin's chakra pathways before she can use her bijuu chakra to any useful degree, and had suggested that maybe talking to her pal the three tails about it might help things go faster. It's been working, since the bijuu is very quick to pick up and even improve the theories she's throwing at their head, but Kushina can't help but suspect that Rin's just using them as an easy method to get out of doing all of the hard work in her training.

"I really wish you wouldn't ask me about that," Sanbi says, their voice easily conveying exasperation and slight hesitance. "I'm sure that he really wouldn't like it if I told you anything even remotely close to what you're asking for!"

Kushina flicks her hair over her shoulder. "Pfft. That just means that there are totally a bunch of stories about how grumpy tails screwed up as an ankle biter." Because she's actively projecting her thoughts at the seal space Kyuubi's trapped in, she can feel the way he gets more and more angry with every word. She smirks. "Come on, you're his younger sibling! You've gotta want to spill some of the dirt on him, that's what younger siblings _do!_ " That's what Mikoto says younger siblings do, at least. It's not like Kushina knows about the supposed lifelong rivalry between older and younger.

"No!" Sanbi says, running their hands through their hair nervously. "No, I don't want to give you anything on him! Kurama would be so upset with me if I did!"

Ooh, did that get a reaction from Kyuubi. Kushina's pretty sure that her smile passes from normal into uncanny valley, but she's too elated to care. It may not be the bijuu equivalent of embarrassing baby photos, but she's got a _name_.

"Oh no," Sanbi mutters to themself, belatedly putting a hand over their mouth. " _I-have-to-go-make-sure-the-supply-scrolls-are-all-stocked-it-was-nice-to-meet-you-goodbye!_ "

Kushina steadies Rin as she stumbles, looking slightly disjointed at Sanbi's hasty retreat. "What kind of excuse was that? Do they even have supply scrolls?"

"They don't," Rin says, putting a dazed hand to her head before shaking it. "It's probably a mix of Kakashi's ridiculous excuses and my instance on having at least three fully stocked med packs on me at all times."

"Kakashi's excuses? You mean like the wise crack about his mask? I’m used to Obito being the main story teller out of you three," Kushina muses, her grin easing back into something natural.

"He grew out of it." Rin doesn't look too happy about that, so Kushina decides that it's time to change the subject.

"How mad do you want to bet I can make Kurama, now that I know his name?" she asks instead, pounding her fist into her other and as if gearing up for a fight. "I bet you a week's worth of chores that I can get him talking to me."

Rin sprawls on her back, tipping her face skyward. "That's a suckers bet, and while I am a really big fan of Tsunade-sama I don't want to be a carbon copy of her. As long as you keep Sanbi-san out of your taunting, I will leave the matter of getting through to him completely up to you."

"..." Kushina pauses at that, gently maneuvering Rin so that she's resting her head in Kushina's lap. "So you're aiming to be the first jinchuuriki medic?"

"Yep," Rin says, popping the p like it's a challenge to an imaginary set of scornful council members. "Once I start getting pushback on that, I'm going to take it up with the Sandaime. I know exactly what I want, and exactly what I'm going to do."

Kushina stares blankly at the girl relaxing in her lap. "I've already got Obito's word on this, but are _you_  going to dismantle Konoha and burn it to the ground?"

Rin makes a face. "Nah."

Kushina squints. "That was really kind of noncommittal, sweetie."

Rin groans and shoves an arm over her eyes. "I just want to learn how to be a doctor. I don't care about anything else - if Konoha burns, it won't be because of me."

"Not as reassuring as I was hoping for, but I'll take it." Kushina shrugs to herself. "I'm going to go in and talk to Kurama now, if you want to stay where you are then work on matching up your chakra with Sanbi's. It'll really help you not get burned when some of _my_  chakra goes wild because my bijuu’s got anger issues."

 

* * *

 

Despite what Kushina thinks, Rin's not half-assing her jinchuuriki training. At this point in the game, what she's concentrating on for the most part is working with Isobu-san, getting to really know and understand them. It's been pretty much just talking as of yet, but she's confident that they'll get to tangible techniques soon.

She doesn't particularly want to be able to shoot acid bubbles at people or whatever (though she will admit that having an absolute defense that covers even the most obvious of points would be very handy) - it's the council that wants her to. In order for her to be able to get the hell out of here when Tsunade-hime takes off, Rin's going to need to know every impressive and destructive skill she can learn from Isobu before they'll submit to her reasoning. Rin needs to be dangerous enough to be a liability if she's kept in Konoha, but not so much that her usefulness outweighs the threats she’ll pull in.

What she needs is the presence of an outside threat to light a fire under the council's collective ass, so to speak. If she's lucky, Kiri or Madara will send someone after her and she can use that, but if that doesn't happen Rin knows that Obito would be only too eager for the chance to stir up some chaos for Konoha. Assuming they haven't thrown off the timeline too badly, the war should be ending in a few months; she needs to find her excuse some time before then, or else the timing will look too convenient to be believable.

For now, she's content to sit under the warm sun and rest her head in Kushina's lap. There's a nice breeze rustling her hair, and she can practice conversing with Isobu-san without making it too obvious - the two of them have gotten much better at not tuning out everything around them to talk, but now they need to make it _seamless._  Also, she needs to make sure that they're not freaking out too much about letting Kurama's name slip.

...

It takes her well over an hour and a half to calm Isobu-san down, the semi-frequent surges of angry chakra from Kushina absolutely not helping. Rin's used to running damage control, though, and she does the job well. Promising to yell some sense into Kyuubi-san if he tries to get on Isobu-san's case sounds like a quick way to get herself eaten, but since it pulls a startled laugh out of the turtle it's worth it. Isobu-san is a surprisingly good conversationalist when they're not worrying about saying the wrong thing, and she's pleased with how close they've managed to become.

Before Kushina blinks out of her own (certainly more violent) conversation, Rin and Isobu manage to cover a basic set of attacks they're willing to teach her and their shy request for a staff of some sort for them to wield when Isobu’s in charge of the body. Rin's not sure if Kushina and Minato have a staff that meets Isobu-san's specifications lying around, but if she really needs to she can commission one from the weapons store. Or, if she's gone before she can pick up her commission, she can try her hand at making it! Hand crafting a weapon might be fun.

Still, it's time for lunch. Kushina prods at Rin until she stands and then marches her back into the house. Instead of heading towards the kitchen like her temporary teacher wants her to, Rin peels off to the left so that she can check in on Kakashi, to make sure that he's resting properly and didn't do something stupid like hide an injury from her.

Kushina's still right behind her, so she gets to see Rin open the door to her guest room, take in the sight of Obito perched on the edge of the mattress with a finger extended and clearly intending to prod an exhausted looking Kakashi with, and flash across the room in the blink of an eye. Rin ignores her muffled snort as she bodily picks up her inconsiderate teammate and easily hauls his dumb ass out of the room, dropping him onto the ground at Kushina's feet before she goes back to actually check on Kakashi.

Thankfully for the silver haired jounin, he really is just tired instead of secretly injured. Rin would like to think that her teammates would know better than to try and hide things like that from her after all of the conditioning she's put them through, but she's known them for far too long to make the mistake of trusting in their self-preservation skills. Case in point, whatever the hell Obito was about to do before she got here. 

Shaking her hands unnecessarily to get rid of the chakra surrounding them, Rin tucks her smallest teammate back into bed and gets ready to dress down Obito for improper bedside manner. Kushina had the foresight to stall him before he could disappear before Rin gets to him, even though her stalling technique looks more like she's making fun of his overgrown hair than any of the more classically used methods. Hefting him into the air again, Rin carries him to the kitchen where she can yell at him without having to worry about waking up Kakashi. Kushina follows right behind her, still messing with Obito's hair and making him blush brightly. 

Once she gets to the kitchen, she grabs a plate of rice balls from the refrigerator with the hand she's not carrying Obito with and drops him into a seat. She shoves one in his mouth, glaring at him. 

"Eat it," Rin growls, levelling a finger at him. "I don't care that you're part plant now, you're obviously not getting enough sunlight and water. How are you going to be taller than Kakashi if you don't give your body what it needs to grow?" She slams her hands down on the table, leaning into Obito's face. "Because that's the _only_  way you're going to beat him. Interrupting his already screwed up sleeping schedule is off the table, _riiiight_ Obito?"

Obito scowls at her, but obediently swallows his food before trying to argue. "I wasn't going to wake him up! ...probably."

"Then what were you about to do?" Kushina asks, plopping her elbow down on Obito's head so she can use him as an arm rest.

"I was going to do... something!" Obito twists to try and shake her off of his head, with little success. "I was just getting back at him for making me play chauffeur."

Rin raises an eyebrow. "Somehow I highly doubt that Kakashi asked you to do that. Try again."

Rolling his eye, Obito huffs and crosses his arms. "Well, he basically did. He can't just get ambushed by some Zetsu clones and not expect me to make sure that his inventive ass doesn't get killed on the way back from one of his dumb missions."

Rin hums thoughtfully as Kushina grabs Obito by the shoulders. "He was attacked?!"

"Zetsu clones? That could work... Wait!" Rin tries to bat Kushina's arms away, but settles for squishing herself next to the woman so that she can take up as much of Obito's line of sight as possible. "You had better not have killed any of my Zetsu."

" _Your_ Zetsu? Rin, what?" Kushina takes one hand off Obito's shoulder to put it on Rin's, shaking both of them. "Why did anything other than regular enemy shinobi attack our brat?"

"Kakashi torched one of them, but I've got the other in storage for you," Obito placates, holding his hands up in mock surrender. To Kushina, "The Zetsu are plant guys helping Madara. Sort of. There have been a couple of them lurking around Konoha ever since I gave them the slip when we came back from the future, and Rin's called dibs on them."

"Damn right I called dibs. They're going to be the closest thing to the weird moon alien that I'm going to get without us bringing her here again," Rin leans back out of Kushina and Obito's overlapping personal space. "I can deal with Kakashi killing one. Obito, your storage Zetsu had better be in pristine condition, or so help me..."

"They're fine! I even got you two, since I took out the original watchdog," Obito pouts at her, ignoring Kushina.

The tallest person in the room slowly folds herself over until her face is buried in Obito's hair, helping her block out the rest of the room. "Please, can we stop talking about Obito's weird kill delivery service and go back to talking about how Kakashi was attacked?"

Obito reaches up and pats her absentmindedly. "Sure. Since I took out the Zetsu clone that was keeping an eye on Konoha, most likely waiting to see if I was coming back, Black Zetsu got suspicious and sent out more. They're probably getting antsy since they want to end the war and get on to the next step of the plan soon, so they attacked Kakashi. He's the only member of my team that they could easily get to without covering a bunch of shit up, and if I didn't come after him then it's possible that they could just use him instead for their plans."

"Their plans?" Kushina prompts tiredly.

"Brainwash someone with the Sharingan, get them to cause a couple of travesties, set up and start the Fourth Shinobi War, kill off all of the jinchuuriki to make the Juubi, revive Madara, and put the entire world under a genjutsu. Or bring down Kaguya so she can destroy all life on earth. It depends on which part of the Madara/Zetsu duo you're talking about."

"Oh."

"Yeah, so I was just trying to relax when - ah, Kushina?" Obito sputters when Kushina wraps her arms around him in a tight hug. When she doesn't say anything, he hesitantly continues. "... when I saw Kakashi trying to keep his dumb squad away from a Zetsu. Of course I stepped in, but I only managed to salvage one of them. Kakashi’s idiots saw me, so Konoha definitely knows that some dashingly handsome person in a cool mask is after the Zetsu clones. Since Kakashi's such a trouble magnet, I figured that he'd only find something even worse if I left him alone, which is how I ended up playing chauffeur. He's fine, though, so I don't know why you stopped me from getting my compensation, Rin."

"He's still recovering from chakra exhaustion and now he's got a sleep deficit to make up for. You can poke at him later, when he's not about to collapse," Rin shuts him down hard. She's not about to let him get away with endangering their youngest because he wanted to be petty. To Isobu-san she thinks, " _This is a good example of telling someone when they're going too far. Obito's not thinking about the situation clearly since he's too caught up in his own schemes, so it's up to us to bring him back down to earth. Despite everything, he's good at listening."_

Isobu hums in acknowledgement.

Just to make sure Obito understands that she's being dead serious about this, she taps him sharply on the arm. "Obito. No."

Her one-eyed teammate pauses, taking in her flat tone and hard expression, then closes his eye and lets out a long breath. He doesn't open his eye again until he's forcibly relaxed his shoulders. "Okay."

Satisfied, Rin nods. With that out of the way, now she just has to deal with the way Kushina's gripping tightly onto Obito like she doesn't want to let him go before she can focus on planning the bullshit she's going to tell the Sandaime so that she can eventually leave. It's been a while since she's really been able to let loose, and she doesn't really like to share, but... if it's Kushina, then she'll allow it just this once. Besides, it's not like she's going to run into a Zetsu shortage any time soon, if Obito keeps playing delivery boy.

"Kushina-nee-san?" Rin asks, making sure to sound extra cute. "Do you want to help me kill the Zetsu Obito brought us? We could even practice using jinchuuriki specific attacks - you could call it training."

Kushina lifts her head just high enough to see her over Obito's spiky mess of hair, suspicious at Rin's tone. "Only if he comes with us."

Rin flashes her a conspiratorial smile. "If we want to go where he's keeping them, then he has to. It's somewhere we can let loose and not worry about tipping our hand to the council, but it's Obito's."

Kushina narrows her eyes at Rin. "Is that good or bad? Because I've had about enough bad oh-so-casually dropped on me today."

Obito bounces because Kushina's hug is preventing him from fully preening. "It's good. Really the best, I would say, and it's got an amazing garden." He holds out a hand towards Rin, all traces of his earlier seriousness wiped clean by the prospect of showing someone his hard mokuton-powered garden.

Sighing in resignation, Rin takes his hand. "Why does it not surprise me that the thing you're the proudest of isn't that you have your own pocket dimension, but the garden you've built in it? Come on, I want to see just how much extra work you've made for yourself."

"Is it still work if you enjoy it?" Obito quips at her as the world around them smears. 

Rin takes a second to look around at the small boxes of actual dirt that Obito’s meticulously labeled and are boasting countless green shoots in orderly lines. They're everywhere, and she has no idea how he got so much work done since the few short days they've been out of kamui.

 "With how much you've got going on here, yes. Now, let me at my Zetsu - it's been forever since I've been able to let loose. Kushina-nee, are you coming?"

After arriving in kamui, Kushina had loosened her grip on Obito's neck to stare wildly around her, excitement on her face. "But what if - can I just -"

"Kakashi will be more than happy to discuss the specifics behind Obito's Sharingan dimension later. Right now, we've got a double date with some Zetsu. Do you want to beat up the plant men or not?"

"You know it! But I can totally-" Kushina nods fervently, following Obito as he leads them away from his small army of greenery to somewhere he doesn't care about if it gets scorched.

"Later," Rin stresses, pulling out a kunai as Obito brandishes a sealing scroll at them. "Let's get both of them out here; I want to give them a false sense of hope."

"Keep them away from my plants and you can give them whatever you want," Obito says, already bored by the prospect of not being able to have fun while Rin pounds someone into dust.

Kushina looks slightly taken aback for some reason.

Whatever, she’ll get used to Rin’s ‘newfound’ aggression. Also, that's what Obito gets for picking Madara. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a reverse b-day present from me to you guys! As you may have noticed, updates will be slower now that I've got cross country and classes to deal with, but I'll make it work!
> 
> Kakashi loves making life difficult for everyone around him, and even the Sandaime is not spared. He's absolutely being a little shit on purpose.
> 
> If anyone's wondering about why our three gremlins sometimes sleep in a pile and sometimes sleep on a bed, here's my thinking - if there's more than one of them, they pile. If it's just one person, they won't! Piles are too much of a team thing to not feel lonely if it's just one person using them.


	15. Revelations Both Pleasant and Unpleasant (Mostly Unpleasant)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rin deals with plots both of her own making and of the council's making, Minato's determined to do whatever it takes to keep his kids happy and safe, Kakashi and Obito go on a field trip, and Mikoto catches up with the latest news on the Uchiha Clan. A mentor is gained, consequences are pondered, contrary arguments are had, and bad news is shared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see an unfamiliar name, just know that the character isn't likely to make a big-time debut as a super important character. The two new Uchiha mentioned are from canon, but the rest of the new names are OCs that almost certainly won't get any more screen time.

 

**Who Says Side Characters Can't Advance the Plot**

 

 Killing off the Zetsu clones Obito will semi-regularly throw her way helps Rin reduce her frustration, which is good! For Konoha.

By the Sage, but it feels like everyone and their mother has something to say about Rin's decision to continue with her training as a medic. Kushina (and Minato, for the brief periods he's back in Konoha) runs interference the best she can, giving Rin at least a little breathing room, but the pushback they're getting from the council is still enough to fray everyone's tempers. She hasn't had to play the sweet and easily cowed kunoichi in quite a while and her distaste for the role has only grown with time.

Like the good teammate he is, Obito drops by every couple of weeks with some of Zetsu that he picks up from the various locations the clones have been spying on, and it's the only reason she hasn't snapped and gone on the rampage Kushina was so worried about, a beautiful thing full of hellfire and acidic chakra explosions culminating in a dramatic heart to heart and subsequent prison break with Tsunade-hime. She's told Kakashi and Obito a detailed, play-by-play of how she would do it, and they've helped her clean up some of the rougher edges and add a certain degree of dramatic (Uchiha) flair much to her delight. She hasn't told Kushina the specifics, because while she knows the red-haired kunoichi is firmly on their side, Rin knows that telling her exactly how she would dismantle the village they're supposed to be protecting would cross some very firm lines.

Kushina hasn't taken her up on her offer to decimate any Zetsu after the first time, and to be honest Rin's slightly happy about that since it means that there's more for her. It's nowhere near as satisfying as she's sure hunting them down outside of Obito's kamui will be, but it hasn't been that hard to make do.

Through a combination of pure stubbornness and sympathetic ANBU details, Rin has been able to keep her habit of volunteering at Konoha General whenever she's not training with Kushina. Tsunade-hime only comes in twice a week now, since her aversion to blood is getting steadily worse, and even then she tries to avoid preforming any medical procedures by tackling as much of the overdo paperwork as she can. While this would have frustrated Rin in the past and still somewhat does in the present, it presents her with a golden opportunity to work her magic on an integral part of her 'Get the hell out of Konoha without blowing it up' plan.

Rin's on something of an unofficial probation from using any sort of chakra techniques on the patients, which leaves her with plenty of time to roam around the halls and coincidentally find the office Tsunade-hime tends to hide away in. Talking to the Sannin is a fruitless endeavor at first. The woman is barely hanging on by a thread, closed off to everyone around her, but Rin is stubborn. If she can make her two idiots listen to reason, if she can make friends with the volatile (at the time) bijuu originally meant to kill her, then she can _damn well_ make friends with her sad alcoholic childhood hero. Every cup of coffee offered, every soft story of the latest prank she and Kushina play on the council members, every visit made without demands or scorn chips away at the Sannin's defenses, and Rin can see her progress. 

It's not until after a particularly trying incident - a band of council members wising up and working together in an attempt to shut down anything not related to engineering Rin into the perfect weapon - that things take a significant turn. If Isobu hadn't been kind enough to heal her eardrums, they would still be ringing from the shouting matches that had been waged in the following days, the full force of the Uzumaki-Namikaze duo clashing against the overwhelming greed of a third of the Hokage's "invaluable" advisers. Rin had ended up in a half-day long meeting with Sarutobi Hiruzen, defending her right to continue her education as a medical professional and her personal freedom in general. 

She'd left with a migraine, the throbbing urge to kill something _as soon as possible_ , and an understanding between her and the Sandaime concerning her overall worth as a jinchuuriki and the best possible path for Konoha's future peace. She'd had to use every dirty trick in the book, but having the option of legally leaving the village if the political climate gets worse is worth it. The stipulation of her can be accompanied by a strong enough guard isn't even enough to dampen her spirits, since she knows just how to twist that particular add-on in her favor, when the need arises.

The next morning Tsunade is next to the hospital reception desk, waiting for her.

"Brat. You're really serious about this, aren't you?" 

She's not slurring her words. Her back is straight for the first time since Rin's seen her, and there's a spark hidden somewhere in her brown eyes. For the first time in a very long time, Rin gets the impression that she's not running from something.

Rin holds her head up high, bearing her teeth and ambition. 

"I wouldn't be standing here if I wasn't, Tsunade-shishou."

Senju Tsunade _laughs._

 

* * *

 

Rin'd gotten vicious when Minato wasn't looking. He supposes that it was inevitable - even the most even tempered of people break after raging against the council for so long - but it happened much sooner than he was expecting. Thankfully, her new intolerance for outside interference on her plans for the future seems to have a few exceptions, centered wholly on their small team, the family she's grown almost violently protective of. For the life of him, he can't tell if it was his wife's influence, if it's Tsunade-sama’s, or if it's just a side of Rin he's never seen before.

Kakashi, for the brief moments his returns to the village align with Minato's, doesn't react at all to Rin's new behavior, and Minato still has moments where he does a double take when his youngest student responds in kind.

While slightly concerning, her brazen new attitude towards things she doesn't like lifts a weight off of Minato's shoulders. Putting aside the implications of future trouble Rin's behavior brings, it means that he'll get instant feedback on his still somewhat hesitant actions, honest and open dialogue that has been a major boon in helping him hone his new teaching style. He hasn't had many chances to use it, often times being too busy recovering from exhaustion or shutting down nosy council members to spend enough time with his village-bound student, but he's eternally grateful for just how rewarding it feels when he manages to have a meaningful and productive lesson with her. The twin proud smiles from both Kushina and Rin may play a large role in that satisfaction, but that doesn't change the fact that he feels like he's making good progress towards becoming the kind of teacher he's always tried to be.

The number of missions he's being sent on has increased steadily, and Minato's starting to get concerned. He doesn't know if their opponents have gotten a second wind or if he's simply being sent nonstop to dangerous situations for _other_ reasons, but lately his debriefings with Sandaime-sama have been getting longer and longer. Kushina can call him an idiot all day long, but Minato knows that his reports have evolved into something entirely else, and while he's excited about the possibilities it may bring, he's not as excited as he might have been back when he'd had a full squad, his head blissfully in the clouds.

Kushina would never begrudge him for getting so close to earning the hat, just like he would never get upset with her if their situations were reversed, but Minato can't help but worry. What would happen to the amount of time he could spend with his students if Sandaime-sama makes him the Yondaime? Jiraiya-sensei never said as much, but it was painfully obvious that his team had fallen apart somewhere along the passage of time, and Minato doesn't want that. Already his kids are scattered, already they're broken and incomplete, and he doesn't want to see them go through anything as bitingly painful as the slow slice of a once inseparable team drifting apart.

None of this will matter for a while, though, and Minato's safe from having to make any life changing decisions until the war is finally over. From where he's standing he can only hope that day is not too far off, purely for Konoha's sake, but fate has always been a fickle mistress. He'll take it as it comes, and try his best to keep everyone alive until then.

If he has to put another army of Iwa-nin down for that to happen, their blood staining his hands is a price he's happily willing to pay.

 

* * *

 

With the exception of his gentle re-introductory B-rank, Kakashi hasn't been sent on anything lower than an A-rank, sometimes higher, since Minato stopped monitoring what orders he’s getting assigned. 

He can't remember the rest of the war after Rin's death with any sort of reliable clarity, too much going on at the same time in his head for him to remember the specifics, but he's fairly sure that he's being handed the sort of missions he'd had to beg for the first time around. Often assigned with a maximum of one other jounin as backup, his objectives have been heavily weighted towards subterfuge and assassination rather than the frontline duties Minato's been pulling, and it suits him well enough. He would be dead several times over if it weren't for the lifetime of experience and neck-saving jutsu he's acquired, but at least the Sandaime's handed him a reasonable excuse for where he got some of his more obscure jutsu on a silver platter. 

He's still quickly gaining fame throughout the ranks, still labeled as a coldblooded killer who would easily abandon his comrades if it meant completing his mission despite having one of the lowest records of losing mission partners. Kakashi's not sure if it's a smear campaign or if it's yet another display of residual hate for the success of the White Fang's son, but he doesn't let himself be too bothered by the chatter. As long as they're not calling him a friend-killer, he doesn't care what they say about him. His reputation isn't all too important; it's not like he really needs to be personably palatable.  

Because of the higher ranks of his missions Kakashi hasn't seen any familiar faces yet, so to speak. He ran across Genma when the rest of the chuunin's team passed through the same outpost Kakashi had been assigned to operate out of once, but that's the closest he's gotten to anyone outside of his team. Genma tripped over his feet hard enough to fall over when Kakashi waved at him, though, and that makes up for a good amount of the lackluster reactions the other shinobi have been subjecting him to lately. 

Right now, he's in the middle of Suna, in a small political influencer's house, making sure that the politician's death looks like the work of Kiri-nin who sloppily tried to disguise their hit as a unlucky break-in. He's running solo again, and the secrecy and level of deception needed means that it's one of the S-ranks he's been oh so graciously assigned. The mission write-up had obviously been made with an Uchiha in mind, specifying all of the minuscule details that need to be planted with the help of a Sharingan, but someone wants to see if Kakashi can do it just as well as a born wielder. Probably Danzo, but Kakashi wouldn't put it past the Sandaime to test how far he can push him. 

"I can't believe they have you running all over the continent only doing lame assassinations," Obito complains, barely avoiding scraping his feet across the floorboards as he follows Kakashi through the house. "That's such a dumb move!"

Ah, the sweet sound of the only reason Kakashi hasn't complained about the same thing. To be contrary, he shrugs his shoulders. "My file does have me listed as an expert in assassination."

Obito snorts. "Yeah, along with ninjutsu and tracking. Why aren't you getting sent on any of those missions, running across some forest to hunt down a squad of helpless bastards thoughtlessly doing what they're ordered?"

Kakashi tilts his head at the doorframe he's standing in. "Someone either wants to keep me away from all of the faster paced action in a misguided attempt to keep me safe, or they're isolating me in the hopes that I either get myself killed or taken. Hey, come over here for a second."

" _Why_ , though?" Obito questions as he trudges over to him.

Kakashi grabs onto his arm and jumps up so that he can stand on Obito's shoulders, trusting his teammate to not fall over. Gouging out a neat series of marks in the wood, he answers Obito. "Because I'm not tall enough to do this, and the angle would be wrong if I came at it from the ceiling." 

"Bakashi, that's not what I meant! Who the hell just uses someone else as a footstool, anyways?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, and me, obviously." Kakashi leans forward hard enough to upset Obito's precarious balance and send them both crashing to the ground, creating another set of scuff marks he needs. "How's your Zetsu delivery service been working out for you?"

"It's been fucking frustrating, since I'm not allowed to kill any of them. Now, don't change the subject - why would someone in Konoha want to off you already?" Obito rolls himself so that he's seated instead of sprawled, but otherwise doesn't bother to get off of the floor. 

Kakashi shrugs as he stands up and brushes dust off of his pants. "Eh, they could want my eye, they could be trying to ensure that I don't get any stronger, they could be using my death as leverage against Minato. Who knows? It's been nice to run missions without having to constantly watch out for untrained squad members, so I don't really care."

"That shitty attitude is going to get you killed one day," Obito calls out as Kakashi moves across the room to mess with a window now.

"This shitty attitude let me live until I was old and gray," Kakashi shoots back. "Do you have a better one to suggest, Mr. 'I died before I reached 50'?"

He can practically hear Obito grinding his teeth, probably trying to think of someone they both knew who lived as long as Kakashi did so that he can tell him to emulate them instead. 

After a long period of silence, Obito speaks up. "You know what?"  

Oh, this should be good. 

"You should be more like Gai."

Kakashi whirls around to face Obito, striking a dynamic pose and giving him a double thumbs up. "That is a wonderful idea, my wayward friend! I swear to understand my un-youthful isolation for the weight it truly bears! Cutting short the springtime of my youth is a truly disastrous thing to do, after all!"

Obito makes a face of disgust. Still, he dug this grave. He knows he has to lie in it. "That wasn't anywhere near loud enough."

Kakashi's eye twinkles, and Obtio sighs preemptively. 

"YOSH!!"

 

* * *

 

Being a part-time ANBU agent restricted to a half-day travel radius of Konoha is... more trying than Mikoto first expected it would be. As a fully activated Sharingan user and a former jounin, she had gotten used to the fast-paced life that came with moving from mission to mission; now that she retired to stay closer to Itachi and minimize the chance that he lose her on a mission, she's struggled to find new ways to keep herself entertained. 

Kushina always helps, but recently she's been busy with her own student (and hadn't that been a surprise, her best friend being allowed to take on a chuunin) or the council to raise the sort of havoc they used to. Mikoto knows that a war is not the right place to let loose at the expense of the twitchy shinobi and civilians, but she's got to do something or else she'll lose her mind. The elders are frequently hounding her about Itachi starting the live-action parts of his training, and it's been getting harder and harder to deny them. Shisui had been promoted to chuunin not too long ago, taking his light-hearted influence away from Itachi, and if she asks Obito to babysit too often then the others will get suspicious enough to ask questions that she can't answer without a lot of legwork to back up her excuses. 

Although, she's not sure if Shisui being sent out to fight is necessarily a bad thing, since she suspects that he's a large reason behind why her son has been suspiciously equated with a growing number of pranks that have been wreaking havoc on the compound. Obito is probably a little bit too out of touch with the current political climate to understand just how poor of an idea it is to let Shisui get away with such things. With the little rascal's elder-directed pranks curbed, she's at least looking forward to not needing to deal with the elder's snide comments on that front anymore. One of the concessions she's had to make was to restart Itachi's training, but she'd managed to bribe Obito into covering the times she's not able to run him through the day's regime - it's good to know that all she has to do is find out how much dango the boy needs to outweigh how much he doesn't want to do something, even if she'd had to ply him with far more than she expected to in order to get him to agree.

It's not anywhere near as regularly as it used to be, before she became a mother, but Mikoto is still assigned various tasks common to the ANBU. Right now, she's perched in the ceiling of the Hokage's office, letting her mind wander in her boredom like she has been for most of the night already. Sometimes a particularly nervous shinobi would enter and give their uninteresting report directly to the Sandaime, but other than that her only source of entertainment is betting with Owl on how many times their Hokage sighs before finishing a document. She's about to win a spare set of shiruken when a harried looking Naori knocks once and enters the room almost before the Sandaime finishes inviting her in.

Still maintaining her professionalism, Mikoto pays more attention to the room below her than she has in hours.

"Hokage-sama, jounin Uchiha Naori of Internal Security reporting. Supply squad five encountered two unknowns twelve minutes ago; a mokuton-using assailant and masked shinobi uninterested in Konoha-nin. Two casualties, one death. All reports of interaction between both unknowns and Konoha shinobi do not deviate from the initial intel provided by jounin Hatake Kakashi's incident report. This marks the fifth time an encounter with either or both unknown has been reported, and the first where jounin Hatake has not been present."

Supply 5? Taiko is on that team, the annoying womanizer. He would always complain about how over half of his team were Clanless trash or Inuzuka dogs.

The Sandaime waits until Naori is finished reporting, then speaks. "List the casualties and fatality."

"Sasagawa Hiro and Inuzuka Kosuke were injured. Uchiha Taiko was fatally wounded and died in transit to Konoha General."

Shit. Mikoto can feel her muscles lock, and forces herself to remain still. She cannot gain any more information if she loses herself over the loss of another clan member. She may not have particularly liked Taiko, but he was a loyal Uchiha.

"What were the differences between this encounter and the four previous ones?" Sarutobi asks, his tone sharp enough to startle Mikoto. 

She'd almost forgotten. Her job right now is to guard the Hokage, not gather intel on the assailant who murdered a clan member. Shifting minutely, she tries to split her focus from Naori's clipped tones. She is a professional, and she will not be caught off guard by unwelcome information not even meant for her ears. She doesn't quite manage it, but she's thankful nonetheless that Owl lets her brief moment of inattention slide without reprimand.

"Currently, the amount of warning is the only identifiable difference. Every encounter reported by Hatake has also included prior warning from him personally, with the exception of the first report. Supply squad 5 reported no indication that they noticed a hostile any time before Uchiha Taiko and Sasagawa Hiro had been injured." Naori looks like she wants to say something else, but holds herself back. She's always been so fond of keeping the peace, it breaks Mikoto's heart to see her forced to recount the details that lead to the death of family.

The Third sees her reaction as well, since he sighs. "If you have personal thoughts that are relevant to this incident, you have my permission to share them. The key to tracking down and neutralizing these threats could be found in anything, and you are in a position that allows you unique insight on these matters. Speak your mind." 

Naori bows shortly, fighting for control of her face. "The masked shinobi, although remaining confrontational with Konoha shinobi, did not enter the ambush within the average time frame specified in Hatake's reports, arriving fifteen minutes after initial contact rather than the previously noted one to five minutes. The Mokuton using assailant proved to be inhuman in their appearance, the way they take damage, far more resilient than previously noted, and made numerous attempts at separating Uchiha Taiko from his squad." She takes a deep breath, then continues. "The only recorded kill of one of the Mokuton attackers was made by Hatake, using an experimental exploding tag on the first one he encountered. Every following Mokuton attacker has been dealt with by the masked shinobi."

Mikoto can see the points neatly laid out, and she does not like the picture they paint.

Naori lifts her chin up, her expression grim. "Hokage-sama, I would like to ask for your permission to admit conjecture for your consideration."

The Sandaime inclines his head.

"First, I believe that the Mokuton unknowns are not fully human, perhaps the results of an experiment of some sort, and are attempting to secure a Sharingan. I am basing this proposal on their initial fixation on Hatake Kakashi, the first known non-Uchiha to wield the kekkei genki, and their later attack and subsequent attempts at isolating Uchiha Taiko after what I interpret as four failed encounters with Hatake. Furthermore, the masked shinobi made a statement to Hatake about the Sharingan he carries."

That Hatake Kakashi, the boy makes trouble everywhere he goes. Mikoto does not understand how Obtio can tolerate such an unpleasant person.

"Second, I believe that the masked shinobi may be collecting the Mokuton unknowns. There has been no evidence that he kills them with his methods of removal. Any motivation is unknown, though I do not think that he has the same goal as the Mokuton unknowns, as he showed no interest in making an attempt for either Sharingan wielder present during any of the attacks."

Owl has to nudge Mikoto before she releases her grip on the wooden beam she's perched on. There are deep grooves in it from where the talons of her ANBU gloves have bitten into the grain. 

"Lastly, I believe that the masked shinobi may be following jounin Hatake Kakashi through unknown means because he is the apparently favored target of the Mokuton unknowns. The only basis I have for this claim is the consistency of the timeframe for his arrivals in the first four incidents and the subsequent discrepancy in the fifth."

Mikoto wordlessly snarls at that. Yet another reason why Obito should take his eye back from that walking disaster.

The Sandaime takes a measured breath as he thinks over Naori's theories. "What of the allegiances of these unknowns?"

Naori frowns slightly as she collects her thoughts. "They originated from the same village or organization. The manner of the abilities they have and are likely seeking speak to their goal in hoarding extremely powerful abilities, but the frequency of activity so close to Konoha lessens the likelihood of their loyalty being directly to a hidden village. There is still the possibility of an unattached command center hidden close enough to Konoha that they could order out either one or both of the unknowns, but it is highly unlikely. In order of probability, they work or worked for the same organization, they work or worked for the same village, they work for opposing organizations or villages."

Huffing on his pipe sharply, the Sandaime stands. "Your thoughts have been heard. Continue to search for further evidence on your claims, and do not discuss this with anyone outside of your investigation team. You are dismissed."

Naori bows stiffly before exiting, and Mikoto does not envy her duty to solve a death of a family member and not be able to extract revenge. Naori has always been a sweet, even tempered girl, slightly less volatile than the usual Uchiha, but her strength in this matter is exemplary. The Sandaime sorts through the papers on his desk briefly before he leaves as well, and Mikoto is left to her thoughts as Owl soundlessly slips out behind their Hokage to shadow him. Technically, Mikoto should be the one trailing after him, but her temporary partner has obviously decided that they should switch duties for the time being, leaving her to guard an empty room. 

If there truly is a force of unknown threats actively targeting members of her clan, then she needs to let her husband know. Oh Sage, she needs to let Obito know - her nephew is all alone somewhere, without the protection of the Village or even the dubious backup his team could provide! He had only had his activated Sharingan for a few months, regardless of how much he's learned from the future. He hasn't had nearly enough time to master his eyes- no, eye, because of that Hatake boy - to any degree that would allow him to take on a foe that is capable of killing an older and more experienced Sharingan user fighting alongside a full squad of experienced shinobi.

Mikoto taps the tips of her claws against her perch and waits until the end of her shift, worrying about Obito and planning out changes to the patrolling roster she and Fugaku will have to implement. She doesn't care how secrete Sarutobi wants to keep this, it's a danger to her family.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, I would have gotten this chapter to you guys a lot sooner if my laptop hadn't crapped out on me as I was trying to upload this.
> 
> Reminder: Mikoto has her "precious baby" goggles on in regards to Obito. In her mind, he's a poor, wronged chuunin who needs protection and love, and can do no wrong. Personally, I find this hilarious, and will likely keep finding it funny until I have to write her doing some mean shit to (probably) Kakashi, but that's a challenge for another day.
> 
> Just as a personal update, life sucks and I'm sick right now so I can't promise a new chapter in the near future, though I do have one in the works. I've managed to fall out of and subsequently back into the Naruto fandom, but rest assured, this fic will not be abandoned. I'll respond to all of y'all's comments tomorrow, but honestly you guys are straight treasures, from what I've read.
> 
> There's no probable date that I can give for the next chapter, but I promise I'm working on it. I hope the new year treats you all kindly!


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